Updates on Carol



Carol, wife of lead pastor Jim Garlow, has been battling with Cancer since 2007. This amazing blog shows the ups and downs of her continuing struggle with her Cancer. Our prayer is that it will help you to know how to pray more specifically and bless those who may be going through a similar battle

Carol Garlow Medical Fund

Chase Bank Account No. 2965597236
Note: Because this is a private fund DO NOT make checks payable to Skyline. There is no tax deduction associated with this gift.
Checks must be made out to either Don or Mary Anderson for deposit to the above account number.
If you have any questions please contact Don & Mary Anderson at (619) 583-0708

Wednesday, Aug 25, 2010, 8 pm

posted on 08/25/2010

Carol handled Friday night’s trip to Joe’s Crab Shack well.  We packed up and left the condo.  (Sad face!) 

Still on vacation, so on Saturday, Carol & I enjoyed a two hour cruise in the San Diego harbor with a group in town for the CA State Republican Party…then went to the Dallas Cowboys / San Diego Chargers game – which Dallas won – 16 to 14. My two favorite teams!

Spoke early Sunday morning for the CA State Republican Party Prayer Breakfast…then led in prayer at the open session – Sunday morning – at the Manchester Grand Hyatt – San Diego. We were with lots of neat, strong believers. Great fellowship.

On Monday, Carol had chemo round #6 of 9.  She is handling it so well.  We are rejoicing.

Her cancer markers are down to 16.  We are rejoicing more!

Did an interview this Monday morning on Channel 6, XETV, here in San Diego…on my new book, ENCOUNTERING HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE. It was so great to NOT be interviewed about Prop 8 or the Ground Zero Mosque! If you want to watch it:

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fxetv.media.origin.entriq.net%2Fxetv%2Fvideo%2F%2F090000201008231516_001835p5002544p9.wmv&h=bc9e0

Did a bunch of interviews today – my first TV interview by Skype for a TV station in South Bend, IN, then radio interviews: Minneapolis & Florida.

Want to join in a national prayer movement to see our nation turned?  See www.prayandact.com.

Flying to New York City to be on Fox News Internet with Lauren Green on Friday – then to Washington, DC for Glenn Beck’s event and the big Restoring Honor Rally on Saturday, Aug 28.

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There has been some discussion about Glenn Beck’s Mormonism, so I wrote the following article for those who are interested.  Read on – only if interested.

GLENN BECK’S “RESTORING HONOR” RALLY IN WASHINGTON, DC…AND EVANGELICALS

Aug 25, 2010

EVANGELICALS AND GLENN BECK

Some has been said and written about evangelicals “compromising” by sharing the stage this weekend at Glenn Beck’s Friday night Kennedy Center event (for approximately 2,000 pastors and Christian leaders) and being seated on the platform (nearly 200 seats) of the Lincoln Memorial during the “Restoring Honor” Rally on Saturday, August 28.  This all stems from the fact of Beck’s Mormon faith.

I have not been criticized for going to the rally (at least as of this date), but I have seen writing attacking two men in whom I believe: James Robison (who will not even be at the rally, but whose video might be) and David Barton.  Both of these men have impeccable credentials in our biblical faith. 

I recognize that people of good will and good faith might differ with each other on this. Yet there is no need to “de-Christianize” each other over the matter. 

If I may, allow me to state how I dealt with the issue of evangelical-Mormon working partnerships during the Prop 8 battle here in California. 

LESSONS LEARNED AND GUIDELINES FOLLOWED FROM PROP 8

We, as evangelical pastors (primarily in San Diego), were one of the first groups to organize regarding the defense of marriage.  We later learned what the Catholics were doing, and we worked side-by-side – with great synergy and effect.  The relationship proved to be spectacular and continues to this day.

It was later that some of the hierarchy of the Mormon Church called and asked to meet with me.  Candidly, I did not – at first – want to meet with them and did not want to work with them.  My disagreement with Mormon belief is substantial.  Yet I knew that the battle for marriage was so immense in scope.  The Sacramento based Schubert-Flint Public Affairs, working with Ron Prentice of ProtectMarriage.com, had outlined what was needed.  We needed to activate 25,000 persons to knock on doors immediately, and to organize 100,000 persons, “boots on the ground,” by Election Day.  In addition, many other webinars, satellite simulcasts and phone banks were planned, along with a 40-day prayer and fast period culminating with 33,000 persons in a 12-hour prayer meeting – 10 am to 10 pm –  in Qualcomm Stadium three days before the election. 

Several months before the election, three officials from the Mormon Church came to my office.  The meeting was cordial, respectful and warm.  We discussed ways to work along side each other in this battle. 

Most of us are familiar with the term “co-belligerency,” which means that people with diametrically opposing views on certain critical issues work together.  It was in that role that we came together.

Towards the very end of the meeting, I was just ready to bring up a critical issue: the insistence of Mormons to proselytize and argue theology.  Before I could bring up the obvious “elephant in the room,” the highest ranking Mormon official present – a member of the Council of the Seventy – said (as nearly as I am able to re-construct the conversation), “Allow me to broach a topic that is likely on your mind.  You will be concerned that our people will bring up discussions regarding their Mormon beliefs.  I want to assure you that they will not bring up that topic in conversation.”

I was surprised at his directness, thus I said, “Can I have your word on that?”  He responded, “You can.”  I asked, “Even though you are over the Pacific Rim (approx. 1/3 of the world) in the Mormon Church, may I have your cell number and call you personally if I become aware of any violation of the promise?”  He responded, “You can,” and gave me his cell phone number. 

I never called it.  Not once.  Because I never heard of one single violation.  On our first weekend of knocking on doors across California, 25,000 persons showed up to work.  Twenty four thousand of them were Mormons.  They worked.  They worked hard.  They never brought up their faith.  Not once.  A letter had been sent instructing them to discuss only the defense of marriage – and they honored that policy.

Once we began working side by side, I received a call from a reporter with the Wall Street Journal.  I have done over 775 interviews, so there was nothing particularly unusual about receiving such a call.  However his questions were not about Prop 8 and marriage as such, but about the relationship between evangelicals and Mormons.  As I was answering his questions, I stopped and said, “I am going to answer you as directly as I can.  If you misquote me, you will do great harm to my standing as an evangelical, and you will harm the new and young friendship I have with some Mormon acquaintances, so I am going to talk slowly so you can write this verbatim and quote me correctly.”  I did talk slowly, and he did quote me correctly.

THE QUOTE: KEY FOR UNDERSTANING THE ISSUE

My quote was simply, “As evangelicals and Mormons, we are not theological brothers and sisters.  But we are friends and neighbors.  And on that basis we work together to defend marriage.”  At another time, the LA Times called, equally inquisitive of the “new relationship.”  I ended up making the same statement – “As evangelicals and Mormons, we are not theological brothers and sisters.  But we are friends and neighbors.  And on that basis we work to defend marriage” – repeatedly.

That became the mantra for our Prop 8 work together.  Mormons make up 2% of the California population, yet contributed at least 40% of the funds to defend marriage.  Of the workers that knocked on doors and called homes, I suspect that the LDS church provided the lion’s share of the workers.

(They are not the only identifiable group or constituency to which we are indebted.  There were ethnicities that were critical to defending marriage.  Whites voted 49% in favor of Prop 8.  Asians also voted 49%.  Hispanics voted 53% to defend marriage.  While blacks voted 70%.  Thus marriage was saved in California by Hispanics and African Americans.)

But back specifically to the issue of evangelicals and the LDS Church.  Notice the phrase – “friends and neighbors.”  That is exactly what they are.  As such, I treat them (and all persons) with honor and dignity. 

I later visited Salt Lake City and dialogued with two members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Russell Ballard and Quentin Cook.  One of them set the stage perfectly with this opening line, “Look, we are just going to have to tolerate each others theology, so we can work together defending marriage.”  My sentiment exactly.

Because he had laid it out so clearly, we were able to focus on the matter at hand: defense of marriage.  I later met with them for the same purpose.  They are my “friends and neighbors.”  In addition, there are a host of members of the LDS church in San Diego and further up in the greater LA area that are my “friends and neighbors.”  I thoroughly enjoy my time with them.  They are friends.  I have not changed my theology one bit.  Not at all.  I suspect they have not as well, but we can work together on this important project.

In the aftermath of the November 2008 Prop 8 victory, there was a demonstrable backlash directed at the Mormon Church.  Without hesitation, I called a meeting of evangelicals and Catholics – inviting the Mormon officials that I could gather on short notice – and we (Catholics and Evangelicals) affirmed that we would stand with them and speak out against the violence directed against them.  In addition, I participated in a major press conference in which Evangelicals, Catholics, Muslims, Sikhs and others all defended the unwarranted and viscous attacks on the LDS Church.

THE NATURE OF ALLIANCES

In the Old Testament, there were times that Israel forged alliances out of desperation because they did not trust God.  That distrust is sin.  In addition, Israel compromised herself in those alliances, becoming like those with whom she joined. 

However, there were other scenarios in which God used cultures outside Israel for his purposes.  Those alliances seemed to have the approval of God.

Thus I developed a personal “grid” regarding the forming of alliance on the Prop 8 battle.  It might not be helpful for you, but it is helpful for me.  I asked my self two questions:

1. Am I joining with someone simply out of failure to trust God, or does this alliance seem to have the approval of God for this moment, to accomplish his will?
2. Am I compromising biblical truths and values in this alliance?

I concluded that the alliances were not out of failure to trust God, but out of an understanding of how (in this moment) to live out his will on earth, and that there was no compromise of biblical values.

I am not hesitant to say that – though they are not my theological brothers and sisters – the LDS members I have come to know truly are my good friends.  We even laugh hard together.  Yes, we even tease each other about each other’s theological positions.  Yes, I wish they would embrace what I believe.  As yet, that has not happened.  But in the meantime, we are unabashedly “friends and neighbors.”

GLENN BECK

The Evangelical-LDS Prop 8 alliance provides some background to the issue of why an evangelical might attend the Restoring Honor Rally in Washington, DC.

(I am not expecting all persons to arrive at the same conclusion.  There is a principle I learned decades ago, “Others may; you cannot.”  I have wondered for years why so-called Christians can do some of the things they do.  For example, Christians who prided themselves in “doing all things in moderation,” however, are finding that they are no longer doing those things in moderation.  You name the taboo.  They are almost all gone.  What was called “sin” in the 1950’s is quite cool in the new millennium.  Has Evangelical Christianity improved?  Grown up?  Become so much more sophisticated?  I doubt it.  It seems a bit dull.  Blunted.  Muted.  It has lost its “edge” – and we all know it.  As I have observed these changes, I sensed that “the old way” – as out of step with contemporary culture as they might be – might just be better.  So as others begin doing things I do not do, I attempt to override my first instinct to judge.  Then I hear the “Others may; you cannot” principle and go my merry way.  Why have I taken you on this detour?  Because when it comes to the issue of “should I attend a rally led by a Mormon?” some may; others may not.  There is room for amiable disagreement.)

As I have sorted this out, I have watched Glenn Beck as closely as I can.  I do not have a lot of contact with him, but I do have some.  I have been:

1. In his studio audience once
2. On his show once, interviewed very briefly
3. With him and a group of 20+ persons for a three and one half hour dinner and discussion
4. With him in his green room with a group of 10 for nearly half an hour
5. Conversed with him one-on-one very little, perhaps 5 minutes total
6. Led on his internet early morning (7:05 Eastern) 10-minute prayer and devotional time on one occasion

I have had some other email and phone contact with his staff, but only a dozen or so times.  Bottom line: I have had some, but limited, contact.

I have listened and watched very carefully regarding clues to Glenn’s spiritual condition.  I have interviewed several people who have been with him and have talked very specifically with him regarding his own personal salvation.  Glenn has said unequivocally that that he relies on the atonement of Jesus on the cross for forgiveness for his sins, and those are almost the exact words.  Few people use the term atonement.  Glenn did. 

On one of his TV shows about a month ago, he laid out the gospel, using his well known blackboard, in the clearest explanation of the crucifixion and the resurrection that I have ever heard on national TV.  I called James Robison, and asked, “Did you hear that?”  James said, “Richard Land (Southern Baptist) just called me and said he never expected to hear the Gospel so clear on secular television.”  It was quite remarkable.  A few days ago, Glenn laid out America’s problems and then concluded, “We need God!”

I have interviewed persons who have talked specifically with Glenn about his personal salvation – persons extremely well known in Christianity – and they have affirmed (using language evangelicals understand), “Glenn is saved.”  He understands receiving Christ as savior.  (Note: I have never discussed with Glenn this topic.) 

On one occasion three of us were walking near the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia.  The person to my right asked the man to my left – who is with Glenn Beck a great deal – “I heard Glenn Beck is a Mormon.  What is he?”  The man to my left, without missing a beat, without even turning his head to look at the questioner said, “A Christian.”  That answer comes from a man who has been with Glenn often.  At the risk of throwing a verbal grenade, there is no ambiguity about Glenn’s faith, such as what we see in the “is he a Muslim / is he a Christian” discussion regarding our President.

But what about Glenn’s Mormonism, many ask?  That is a legitimate question.  Glenn was raised, as I understand it, as a Catholic.  He became a heavy drinker, destroying everything in his life.  It was the Mormons that got him into the equivalent of a 12-step program.  His life was turned around.  His wife, as I understand it, is a strong Mormon.  My personal read-out would be that Glenn’s Mormon ties are not profoundly deep rooted.  I am not saying that to denigrate his theological understanding.  I simply do not see evidence that he has deep Mormon theological motifs.

But didn’t he talk about some Hebrew stone tablet on his show recently?  Yes.  Frankly, I am not sure why he did it.  It appeared for a moment that he might be – for the first time – pushing his Mormonism.  But in further conversation with those I regard to be “in the know,” that was apparently not the case. 

Two statements by Beck have caused serious Bible believers serious heartburn.  One was on an interview – I believe with Katie Couric – and the other was recently on the Bill O’Reilly show.  In both cases, Glenn trivialized the dangers and harm of gay “marriage.”  Some defend him, saying he was merely saying that that issue is not his personal focus.

I am not certain how to interpret this one.  I was on his show a couple months ago.  He specifically asked Robby George (Princeton professor) to tell the audience about the Manhattan Declaration – which strongly affirms traditional, natural marriage.  He then changed the conversation to the violence against those that defended Prop 8 in California.   At that point, I spoke up, referencing the acts of violence and vandalism committed by those trying to advance the radical gay agenda.

I do not have an explanation for his comments on Bill O’Reilly.  I need to know more of the background.  It was, most assuredly, not his strongest moment.  He may be in need of much more biblical truth and social science data. 

ONE’S THEOLOGY

Let me ask you a question.  Is your theology “off” at all?  Even one percent?  Only the most arrogant would say, “Oh, my theological understanding is 100% perfect.”  No, we all keep growing.  God’s Word does not change.  God’s truth does not change.  But we grow in our understanding of spiritual, biblical truths. 

I suspect my theology is off by 1% or 4% or 7%.  And, I have news for you: yours is too. 

Here is my question:  if your theology is off slightly, but you still trust exclusively in Jesus Christ’s death on the cross for your salvation, and in his resurrection, are you still saved?  Going to heaven?  Yes.

How far off might your theology be – and yet still trust exclusively in Jesus Christ’s death on the cross for your salvation, and believe in his resurrection – and still be saved?  Is it 10% or 15% or 20%?  Or what?

My point is this:  all of us are missing part of God’s full truth.  He knows all truth.  I don’t.  I am striving to understand all truth, but it is a journey of maturing in the understanding of God’s Word.

Someone might truly trust in Jesus Christ’s death on the cross for one’s salvation and believe in Jesus as Lord as demonstrated by the resurrection, yet be lacking in many points of doctrine. 

Larry King likes to ask evangelicals on Larry King Live if one must believe in Jesus to go to heaven.  If they say “yes,” then he is likely to mention that he is Jewish, so will he go to hell?  Evangelicals historically squirm at the thought of saying, “yes, you are going to hell.”  What is a better answer, I believe, is, “Everyone who is going to heaven will get there the same way: by the provision of Jesus.”  “But am I,” Larry might persist, in this imaginary conversation, “going to hell?”  We should respond politely, “All who are going to heaven will get there the same way: by the provision of Christ.  It is not mine to judge who will be ‘in’ or ‘out.’  But I do know that all who gain heaven will get there the same way: by the provision of Christ.”

Perhaps that Larry King illustration has some relevance to this discussion.

THE RESTORNING HONOR RALLY

I am going to the events at the Kennedy Center on Friday and the Lincoln Memorial on Saturday.  I go with no reservation.  I go – as most are I suspect who have sorted through this issue – with a sensing of the blessing of the Lord. 

Candidly, I made a statement publicly about three months ago, before I ever knew I would even meet Glenn Beck.  The statement was (as nearly as I can reconstruct it from memory): “If this nation collapses in the 2010-2012 time frame, historians will have to report, if they are honest, that American fell because of silent pastors and inactive pews.  If, on the other hand, this nation is saved from self-destruction in the 2010-2012 timeframe, those same historians will have to report that one of the major reasons for the turnaround was Glenn Beck.”  That was before I had ever been with him.  I had no idea that two days later, I would receive a call to come meet with him.

I still believe that.  Glenn Beck is being used by God – mightily.  The left loves to slam him and do so viscerally and often with vulgarities. Glenn is not perfect.  (For the record, neither are you or I.)  But his expose on America’s sins is stellar.  I am convinced his motives are pure.  His research department is profoundly skilled, checking footnotes down to the last detail.  The left cannot “get” him – at least, not at this point.  They have tried.  Since they have no truth, and history is not on their side, they resort constantly to ad hominem attacks.  He has withstood staggering scrutiny, disdain and attacks.

Based on all I know about him, I am proud to stand with him at the Restoring Honor Rally this weekend.  Glenn does not see that this about him, because it is not.  It is about Restoring Honor.  That is the issue.  It is much bigger than Glenn Beck and he knows it.  And God knows, we need it.

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Friday, Aug 20, 2010, 10:30 am

posted on 08/20/2010

We have enjoyed several days at the beach. Though Carol’s fatigue level has required her to sleep major parts of the day, she really is handling chemo very well. We are so grateful for that fact. And the few days at the beach were fabulous!

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Monday, Aug 16, 2010, 6 pm

posted on 08/17/2010

Hair loss is frequently a side effect of chemo.  Carol experienced this hair loss with Taxol in 2007, but not with Gemzar in 2009.  However, the Taxotere is strong, thus she has experienced this again.  In 2007, the final hair loss and shaving of her head was highly emotional, very hard on her.  However in 2010, she is perky, sporty, even funny about it.  She “celebrated” having her head totally shaved last night – and clowned around for us all.  She was cute, hilarious & funny.  I am proud of her!

She had chemo again today – the 5^th of 9, and is handling the day so well.  We are so grateful to God for “good days.”  Thank you for praying!  We cannot tell you how much that means to us.

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Saturday, Aug 14, 2010, 6 pm

posted on 08/16/2010

Carol’s cancer markers (CA-125), you may recall, progressed upward over recent months as cancer activity increased, going from 9 to 21 to 29 to 57 to 79 to 117. 

Then the chemo began.  Praise God it has trailed downward: from 117 to 90 to 50 to 22!  This means that the chemo is having the desired impact.  We are rejoicing.  Now our next prayer is that the decreased markers also indicate tumor shrinkage, another important component that will set the stage for surgery.

As stated in previous posts, we suspect our trip quick trip to/from MD Anderson Cancer Center for re-imaging will be the end of September (though that is yet to be determined).  That would mean that the next (3^rd) surgery would be mid October, which would keep us in Houston for 2-3 weeks.

Carol handled the move to the beach condo so well on Thursday, along with entertaining some who came to help her celebrate her birthday even more.  But all of the work and fun (somewhat predictably) took its toll, as she had to sleep all day Friday, not arising until 7 pm.  However, we are just so pleased that she has so many good days between the extended “rest days.”  We have adjusted to the fatigue impact of chemo and to what we call “the new normal.”

Today (Saturday) she was feeling strong enough to go with me to a noon luncheon at San Diego State University at which Newt Gingrich spoke.  As usual, Newt was remarkably inspiring.  His intellect and his understanding of core macro ideas grips both the heart and the mind.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your prayers!  We are SO grateful for you all!

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Thursday, Aug 12, 2010, 4 pm

posted on 08/12/2010

Carol had a superb weekend (last Thursday through Monday) with her parents, here from Oklahoma City.  They went with her to chemo on Monday morning, then I drove them to the airport Monday afternoon.  It was a bit painful for them to leave her with chemo flowing into her.  But they were glad to have been with Carol, and Carol was delighted to be with her parents.

And the people of Skyline Church were so gracious to her – celebrating her 60^th with her after all weekend services.  She enjoyed getting to greet the people she loves so much.  That was really cool!  We love our church family!

Yesterday, Aug 11, on Carol’s birthday, I googled what a 60 year old was called.  Well, I learned.  Thus, I wrote yesterday on Facebook:

“Today – Aug 11 – I am married to a 60 year old! She is classy, elegant and drop-dead gorgeous! (I have learned that.) Someone who is 80 to 89 years old is called an ‘Octogenarian.’ (Someone in their 70’s is called a ‘Septuagenarian’.)  Someone in their 50’s is called a ‘Quinquagenarian.’ My wife went from a ‘Quinquagenarian’ (someone in their 50’s) to a ‘Sexagenarian’ (someone in their 60’s)…”  I took a lot of teasing for being married to a “sexagenarian!”  No more comment on that one!

Carol had Taxotere and Avastin on Monday, round 4 of 9.   We are so pleased that Carol is doing so well this week with the chemo.

We are awaiting word on her CA-125 markers, trusting they continue to come down. 

All the pastors of Skyline did something we virtually never do:  we went to the beach yesterday and played volleyball together.  We laughed so hard, ate too much, and also ate a lot of sand trying to get to the ball.  It was awesome.

Speaking of the beach, our family is going to spend some days on the beach at our beach condo.  It is usually rented out (and that is what we prefer, as that is the only way to be able to afford it).  We have not been there to stay for many months, or maybe over a year.  Not sure.  But sure happy to go now.  I am going to walk the beach & ride my bike on the boardwalk.

Thank you for praying as we see Carol, in contrast to medical literature, take steps toward full and complete healing.

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Friday, Aug 6, 2010, 4 pm

posted on 08/06/2010

We are on a “sort-of” vacation.  I am still going to staff meetings and still preaching (this weekend), but am “part time” vacationing – if there is any such thing.  (Okay – I admit it; it does not work very well.)

Last Friday, Carol, Jake, Josie and I flew to Phoenix, AZ.  Months ago, I had accepted a speaking engagement there – knowing that we would be on vacation at that time – and that we might hang out an extra day or two at one of Phoenix’s resorts.  And I was originally asked to speak on the topic of “Heaven and the Afterlife.”  Knowing that my second book on the topic would actually be released that very weekend, I gladly accepted.  But two things changed between the time I accepted and we actually went: (1) the sermon topic was changed from “heaven” to “the history of Christianity,” which was fine with me as I love that topic too, and (2) Carol’s recurrence of cancer, thus I was uncertain if she would be able to travel.

Like our quick “in/out” Colorado trip (pastors conference) last week (in Tuesday, out Thursday), we took the risk of buying tickets for the Phoenix trip, praying that Carol could handle this excursion.  And – thanks to your prayers – she did so well!  We flew to Phoenix on Friday and back on Monday.

My new book ENCOUNTERING HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE did, as stated, come out, so I signed copies after all five services – somewhere around 850 or so, to be exact.  That was really enjoyable for me.  I value meeting the people who will be reading it.

Christ Church of the Valley – where I spoke in Peoria, AZ, a suburb of Phoenix – is one of the most exciting churches in the nation.  And Pastor Don Wilson is INCREDIBLY GIFTED.  Although Don and I did not know each other at that time, we are the same age and grew up one hour from each other, on the farms of Kansas – he from Manhattan, me from Concordia. 

Don, along with his church, is one of the best kept secrets in America.  The five services have an attendance total of 15,000.  The spiritual tone is top flight.  The buildings are breathtaking.  The campus is spectacular.  The staff pastors and support staff demonstrate excellence and anointing. The congregation was so receptive.  It was such a joy to be with them.

We were concerned about the 100+ temperatures in Phoenix, fully expecting it to hit the proverbial 120 mark!  But not so.  They are in their monsoon season and temperatures were great!  It was only 80 on Friday, and even dropped to 70 on Sunday morning.  It never got to 103 till Monday as we were leaving. 

A special highlight was hanging out with former Skyline Pastor Terri Pellman Swagger, her husband Rob and children.  We treasure their friendship.

To have more fun for Jake and Josie, I rented a 2010 four door Jeep Wrangler at the Phoenix airport.  I cannot tell you how sporty we all felt!  No off-roading allowed with rental cars though!

Now to the more important info.  Great news!  Carol’s cancer markers (as reported before) had come down from 117 to 90.  Well now they have come down to 50.  This is extremely important.  It might indicate shrinkage (we pray) in the tumors, which will allow the surgeons to do the needed resection, probably in the second week (or so) of October, at the MD Anderson Cancer Center.  We need to see the cancer markers (CA-125) come down to 5 or 6 or 7.

Carol did – unfortunately – have to miss her chemo this Monday.  The doctor felt her body could not handle it.  And he is correct. So the “9 weeks” will be 10 weeks now (or more).

Carol is thrilled that her parents – Richard & Vivian Luckert – were able to fly in yesterday (Thursday) from Oklahoma City and will be here till next Monday.  She is thrilled to have them here!  Carol’s dad had health challenges that kept them from coming for Carol’s ordination.

What is so cool about this is that this weekend Skyline Church will be celebrating Carol’s 60^th birthday.  She does not look 60 (whatever 60 is supposed to look like).  She is more beautiful now than ever.  We have been married 39 ½ years – and she is still as drop-dead gorgeous as the day we were married!  (Okay – it is getting gooey!  I’ll stop.)

This weekend I am preaching on – you guessed it – ENCOUNTERING HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE.  This is a much different topic than the first book (similarly titled) HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE.  And I will be signing books after all services this weekend.  (In case you are out of town or out of state and want one, contact Pam Dahl at pdahl@skylinechurch.org or by calling 619.660.5000.

A portion of this week was spent getting Jake and Josie enrolled in college.  Josie is possibly looking at physical therapy, and thus is beginning that journey in junior college.  Jake is looking primarily at culinary arts, and secondarily at automotive technology – thus he enrolled in two, local, “sister” junior colleges.  What I did not realize is that (1) both colleges grew 15% last year and 23% this year (that is what we were told!!), and that (2) state budget cuts have wiped out a lot!  The result?  We barely got Josie into classes – with great effort.  But both of Jake’s areas of study were WAIT LIST only!  He could not get into hardly any of the classes for which he was trying to enroll.  Since all the enrollment is automated by computer, it was a …how do I say this…somewhat trying experience.

Enough newsy stuff.

Bottom line: Carol has had a great week.  WE ARE SO, SO VERY GRATEFUL!  Thank you for praying!

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Friday, Aug, 6, 2010 2 pm

posted on 08/06/2010

Dr. Jim Garlow

Response to the August 4, 2010 Prop 8 Overturn

August 6, 2010

Losses and Consequences

A Statement by the Senior Pastor of Skyline Church, Dr. Jim Garlow

Dear Church Family,

Please forgive me for not writing this as a warm congregational letter.  I have instead written it as a “general statement” which can be forwarded to others as desired. 

It is well known that on August 4, 2010, a San Francisco based judge ripped from the people what they had voted for when they affirmed the14 words in Proposition 8, which simply states, “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”

In making that decision, the judge robbed the people of much more than marriage, and the definition of marriage. He took away from us something that has been highly valued in American culture, “the consent of the governed.”

This issue of marriage was thoroughly vetted in 2008 in California.  In fact, each side – both the pro traditional, natural marriage advocates and the anti traditional, natural marriage advocates – spent about forty million dollars.  After an eighty million dollar campaign – likely the most expensive proposition campaign in American history – after that elongated process and after working our way through all the issues, California voters affirmed not once, but twice, the exact same fourteen words. First, through Proposition 22 in 2000, then in Proposition 8 in 2008.

But one judge, Vaughn Walker, knows more than millions of Californians and all the cumulative history of all federal courts.  He, by the way, was outed for his own sexual orientation, by a public newspaper in the midst of a trial, yet did not recluse himself from the trial over that issue.

Walker has now ruled that Californians are irrational. He says there was no reason for affirming one man/one woman marriage.  And, apparently knowing the internal motivations of seven million Californians, he further claims that we were all motivated by animus and bigotry.  According to Walker, only bigotry caused people to come to the conclusion that marriage is between one man and one woman, despite the fact that that definition has been affirmed by every culture – pre-Christian, anti-Christian, and Christian cultures, for the last 5,000 years.  To Walker, all of human history’s affirmation of the nuclear family has, it would seem, been determined by bigotry.

Why have all these cultures come to the same conclusion, that one man / one woman marriage is the model? Stated simply – because it works. As any mildly observant person knows, natural law confirms the same thing. Males and females fit together.  Even an apprentice plumber knows enough to not attempt to bring the “male” ends of a pipe together or, for that matter, to do the same with the “female” ends of pipe.  Some things, by nature, fit together.  By virtue of the fact that the man contributes the sperm and the woman contributes the egg, they are in the best posture as mother and father to raise children and produce a healthy child which, in turn, produces a healthy society.

But not according to Judge Vaughn Walker. He rode roughshod over the will of seven million voters in the state of California who said “yes” to Proposition 8. By this one single ruling, he threw it out.

His ruling, however, has implications for more that just California. Since his poorly reasoned conclusion was based upon the U.S. Constitution (not the California Constitution), he is, in effect, trashing (over the process of time) traditional, natural marriage for all other states with similar laws.  Thirty one states have voted on marriage.  All 31 have affirmed traditional, natural marriage.  Forty four states have one man/one woman marriage laws, with a total population of 294 million. 

We would have wished the judge would have looked at the first three words of the U.S. Constitution, “We the People.” There’s a reason why that document does not begin with the words, “I the Judge.” Our forefathers were very aware of the dangerous power of the judiciary. Thomas Jefferson warned us about the potential of wayward, oligarchic judiciary.  His concerns have proved to be valid. One of the reasons some of our forefathers left England was to flee an imperialistic judiciary.  Behold, such a judiciary has returned!

Before proceeding, let us be very clear about one basic point.  We are not advocating that persons who view themselves as homosexual should be robbed of basic rights.  Not at all.  All persons should be treated with fundamental dignity.  Through California’s civil unions, homosexual couples receive all the benefits the state can give.  The only thing that they lack is term “marriage.”

Three Losses

There are sobering consequences to the legalization of gay marriage.  Some leaders of the radical gay agenda claim that these are only “unintended” consequences.  Unintended or not, they are still consequences.

Some naively ask, “What’s the big deal? What difference does it make if some homosexuals get married?  How does that affect your (heterosexual) marriage?”

Candidly, same sex “marriage” legalization greatly impacts traditional marriage. I was involved in a debate on Channel 35 in Los Angeles during the 2008 Prop 8 campaign.  In the course of that debate, the question was asked by the moderator, “Can’t the two concepts, the two constructs, function side by side? That is, can homosexual marriage and heterosexual marriage coexist?”  Before I had a chance to answer, the well-known atheist LA attorney, Eddie Tabash, responded quickly with a “No!  No they cannot coexist. One wins and the other one loses.”  He is correct.

Why is that the case?  Here is the reason:

Once the government has a vested interested in affirming and protecting so-called gay “marriage,” three losses become apparent.  First, there is a loss of personal freedoms; secondly, there is a loss of parental rights; and thirdly, there is a loss of religious liberties.

We know this by observing states in the United States that have had gay “marriage” for a period of time.  In addition, we can examine countries in Europe that have had gay “marriage” for approximately a decade. What is consistently present is a profound loss of freedom. Allow me to provide some examples.

Legalized gay marriage automatically triggers a loss of personal freedoms.  In the city where I live in – San Diego – two medical doctors had a biblical conviction, a Christian belief, that they would not artificially inseminate a woman unless she had a husband. When an unmarried woman came to them and asked for the procedure, they declined, as they always had. They told her there were other doctors who would do the procedure for her, and they referred her to them. But that was not satisfactory to this woman.  She was a lesbian and was convinced that this was some kind of animus against her. She took them to court, and she won. It was going to cost one million dollars for those two doctors to take their case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court to regain their ability to live out the First Amendment – freedom of religion.  For obvious economic reasons, they did not continue.  Their personal freedoms were crushed.

Or consider the twenty-five year old photographer in Albuquerque, New Mexico, who declined to photograph a lesbian “celebration” as per her religious convictions.  Never mind the fact that many other photographers could have and would have photographed the event. That wasn’t good enough. The demanding lesbians insisted that this particular photographer had to do it. Thus the state stepped in, and that court case is still on going. We could give many such examples.

The second area is a loss of parental rights.  Dave and Tonya Parker lived in Lexington, Massachusetts. Both are chemists, David having a Ph.D. in the field. After Massachusetts legalized gay “marriage,” the Parkers asked to opt out their child from such discussions.  They were informed they could not opt their child out of discussions of homosexuality. The rationale of the state went something like this: The school agreed that, according to the laws of Massachusetts, a parent has the right to opt their child out if someone is teaching about sexuality. However, the public school contended, “This is not sexuality, it’s homosexuality. Therefore you cannot opt your child out.  Besides that, it’s state law now.  Gay marriage is legal in the state.  Therefore you cannot opt your child out.”

The school official refused to cooperate with the Parkers. The judge would not call the teachers to come and testify as to what they were teaching on the topic. He told the Parker family, in effect, “You need to segregate”–that’s the word he used–“You need to segregate yourself from the school system.” It was fine for the Parkers to pay taxes to support the school.  Yet the Parkers could have no say in what their child was taught regarding sexual expressions and could not opt their second grader out from discussions on sexuality or specifically in this case, homosexuality.  Loss of parental rights occurs when the government affirms and protects so-called same-sex “marriage.”   Tragically, more examples exist.

In addition legalization of gay “marriage” results in a loss of religious freedoms. Ake Green, a Swedish pastor, preached on Romans 1 which references homosexuality.  For doing this, he was sentenced to a month in prison.  He went through three trials.  (Due to Sweden joining the European Union, which did not have Sweden’s law, he never served the time.)

Coming much closer to home, in Canada, a young pastor wrote a letter expressing his views on homosexuality. He ended up in litigation that stretched over years, with significant court costs, simply because he articulated the view that homosexuality is biblically an unacceptable practice.

Coming much closer to home, the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association is a beautiful church and camp meeting, an independent holiness Methodist campground, breathtakingly located right on the Atlantic Ocean in the town of Ocean Grove, New Jersey. Although there are many miles of Jersey shoreline, two lesbians demanded to have an affirmation ceremony on the church’s beachfront property. The Ocean Grove church officials lovingly explained that that would not be a possibility.  The women went to state officials.  Due to the fact that the property extended to the beach which had received some state funds, the State of New Jersey targeted this church and campground. That case is still under litigation in New Jersey.

The day will come – not immediately, but eventually – unless this foolishness is ended – when churches will be forced to hire active homosexuals.  Pastors will be forced to perform gay marriages, or their churches will lose their 501(c)3 status, and consequently, in many cases, they’ll lose their church buildings.  Like Pastor Ake Green, pastors will be fined and imprisoned for advocating a biblical view of homosexual acts.  When the government has a vested interest in defending, affirming, and protecting gay marriage, religious liberties and the right of individual conscience are lost. 

Although critics scoff at this suggestion, they most certainly don’t seem too concerned about the thought of it happening.  They suffer from a severe case of political amnesia, forgetting that there was a day – not so long ago – when the radical homosexual agenda was satisfied with “civil unions” and “domestic partnership” saying, “we will never ask for the word ‘marriage.’”  Only the most historically inattentive could fail to note these continual gradations. 

The Christian Tradition

Some might say, “You are affirming traditional marriage because you are a pastor.” Yes, I am a pastor.  But more importantly, I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus.  Every authentic believer in Jesus as Lord follows – or at least attempts to follow – the truth of Scripture. I am an unabashed believer in the Word of God.

Churches that adhere to the Scriptures represent authentic, historic, orthodox Christianity. Churches that defy the scriptures, with complex casuistry justifying homosexual behavior or redefinitions of marriage, are expressions of “religionity” not Christianity.   

They do not represent historic, authentic, orthodox Christianity.  As one who has spent years studying the history of Christianity, first through a journey involving multiple academic degrees, and secondly as an avocation, allow me to affirm the following: authentic, historic, orthodox Christianity has always affirmed one man/one woman marriage, and has never affirmed the practice (acts) of homosexuality or homosexual “marriage.”

For those that are followers of Jesus, the Scriptures are crystal clear. Contrary to the recent epiphanies of the historical revisionists during the past four decades regarding key biblical texts, authentically Christian marriage has been and still is defined as one man/one woman.  In spite of all the attempts of the religious left to rewrite the Bible, Scripture is crystal clear on the model of one man / one woman marriage. 

The left whines, “you are trying to force your Bible down our throats.”  That is not the case.  Quite frankly, it is quite the opposite.  We want them to want to know biblical truth and to want to live it.  Coercion does not work, nor is it biblically acceptable.  We rely on prayer, patient sharing and the Holy Spirit to convict hearts of sin.

At the same time, in our constitutional republic with it elections pertaining to public policy, we – all people – enjoy the privilege of voting.  As one walks into the voting booth, there is no litmus test for where our beliefs are formed.  The atheist can make voting decisions out of his or her atheistic framework of thought.  And correspondingly, persons are allowed – in this democratic form of government – to vote based on their biblical convictions.  The radical left, through such organizations as the ACLU, has attempted to intimidate persons who vote based on scriptural issues.  They are failing.  People of faith are not afraid to vote their conscience.  And well they should.  It is most un-American to castigate people for the reasons they vote as they do.  To vote as one desires is one of the most cherished rights.

One more vitally important fact needs to be stated.  All the persons with whom I worked on the Prop 8 campaign were not “homophobic” if “homophobic” means being against persons who consider themselves to be gay. Even in the intensity of the Prop 8 battle, the people I knew were truly compassionate regarding persons who have a same sex attraction.

Personally, I was one of tens of thousands who fasted for 40 days during the Prop 8 campaign.  We fasted, praying for Prop 8 to pass, but much more importantly, for the hearts of Californians to be changed, to long for godly truth and righteousness.  Privately, I asked God for one more request:  give me a greater love and compassion for those who struggle with same sex attraction.  And God did exactly that.  Not merely for me, but apparently for my whole church.  In the midst of the Prop 8 campaign, persons with homosexual struggles “outed” themselves.  Why?  Because they felt loved and safe.  And loved they were!  The result was that a same sex attraction ministry was launched to help them walk in sexual purity and integrity.  

The radical homosexual movement leaders often scoff and deride those former practicing homosexuals who can live within the framework of a biblical sexual ethic.  But that mocking does not change reality.  Those calling themselves homosexuals are deeply loved by biblically based Christian churches, and these churches provide a “cocoon” of safety and love as people begin to experience the joy of sexuality purity and integrity.

Other Consequences

But some people don’t care about the Bible, and I must respect that fact. We live in a pluralistic culture. Some people don’t want to follow the Bible.  Some are not Christian.  That being the case, I would encourage them to view authentic sociological data regarding the value of one man/one woman marriage, particularly as it relates to its impact on children.   

Authentic, untampered, non-PC altered social science confirms that a child needs and deserves both a mother and a father taking care of it. In fact, the strongest consistent indicator that a young boy will succeed in life, that he will not get in trouble with the law, is having a father present.  The strong consistent indicator that a young man will have a run-in with the law is an absentee father.  The statistics are identically troubling when one considers a daughter.  Unhealthy early sexual activity is related to the absence of a dad in the lives of young girls.

While the case has to be made for the value of fathers, it is more intuitive when it comes to mothers.  Succinctly stated, every time a baby is born, a mother is nearby, for good reason.  And mothers are superbly equipped to sustain, to nurture and care for newborns.  How many children do not need a mommy?

Two-mom homes and two-dad homes lack either a mother or a father 100% of the time.  Allow me to ask you a question.  If there is a home with two dads or a home with two moms, which one is unimportant? Is the mom unimportant?  Or is the dad unimportant?  Tell me, which one is so unimportant that children simply do not need that parent?  And if two moms are good, then wouldn’t three moms be better?  If two dads are good, then wouldn’t three, or four, or five dads be an improvement?

And that takes us to the legal realities.  If one makes the legal case that under the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution, you have to allow anybody to get married to anybody they want, then what happens when three people want to get married? Or if five people get married, three men, two women?

At the mention of this, the left always begins wagging their heads, saying “there you go again” as if we just make such scenarios up.  They fail to recognize that those desiring polygamy are rejoicing that Judge Walker has finally devastated the traditional, natural definition of marriage. 

Remember it was only in 1973 that the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality.  Three decades later, the practice of homosexuality was not merely accepted, it had moved to “marriage” status.

In 1995, the American Psychiatric Association declassified pedophilia as an emotional disorder.  NAMBLA assertively demands that sexual “love” between a child and an adult be affirmed.  Some university professors advocate that we should lower the age of consent.  If pedophilia follows the same trajectory as homosexuality, sometime around 2025, it would be legal for children and adults to have sex and to have adult/child “marriage.”  Marriage between a seven year old boy and a 57 year old man might actually become legal in this nation some day, if the present pattern is followed.  “Progressives” scoff at our “nay saying.”  But in so doing, they demonstrated their lack of futuristic understanding or historical integrity.

If, as Judge Walker says on page 115 of his decision, “Marriage is simply the union of equals,” one might ask, “how many equals?” Historically, marriage has been defined by a number and by gender: one man and one woman. That definition is gender specific and numeric specific.

But now the judge has done away with any notion of gender specificity. And in the phrase “a union of equals,” he has actually done away with the numeric indicator of “two.”  When he writes, “marriage is simply the union of equals,” then why can’t it include three? Why not four? As you can imagine, polygamy groups are excited. Judge Vaughn Walker, by his self serving ruling, has devastated and destroyed a fundamental foundational definition of American society, which is that marriage is between one man and one woman.

Where are we now in our journey? As is well known, the case now progresses to the appellate court system, specifically, the 9^th Circuit Court, once again in San Francisco, and then eventually to the Supreme Court.

We will pray that there will be judges who actually possess a moral compass and an authentic commitment to and understanding of the U.S. Constitution.   We will pray for leaders in civil government that will authentically stand for truth, for what is truly best for society, and what is best for the children, and what will preserve this great land we call America.

Blessings on you all,

Pastor Jim Garlow

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Friday, July 30, 2010, 3 pm

posted on 07/30/2010

Carol and I traveled to Keystone, CO on Tuesday and attended a conference on Tuesday night, Wednesday and Thursday. Carol’s strength was such that she was able to make the trip very well in spite of pronounced fatigue.

Ironically, I was the one who got sick. Since Keystone is at the 10,000ft level, I suffered for the first time from altitude sickness and managed to keep Carol awake all Tuesday night. If we would have known where the Emergency Room was located, we would have gone. However, by 6:30 am I started feeling somewhat better. So the bottom line is she would have done great if I would have not been with her! We returned home Thursday evening.

The conference was called by James Robison. There were about 100 pastors and their spouses there. Jay Richards, who authored the incredible book, Money, Greed and God was one of the key speakers, along with my good friend Miles McPherson from San Diego. I spoke there briefly as well. I strongly recommend that everyone pick up Jay’s book, as it is the best book in understanding the Biblical grasp of economics, particularly in a nation like ours that is drowning in debt and deficit. 

Big news: the health insurance company has approved Carol’s use of Avastin. This is a major breakthrough. Thank you so much for all of you who prayed for this!

More big news:  Since starting chemo, Carol’s cancer markers have gone from 117 to 90. Her red blood count is holding steady, even though her white blood count is low.

Even more big news from our family: Josie got a job working at Subway. Jacob got a job working in landscaping with Craig Buteau. They are both very excited about that. Jacob also just returned from a week at youth camp. Apparently the kids who go to youth camp don’t believe in sleeping. He, and I suspect all of the other kids, will sleep well when they get home.

Once again thank you so much for your faithfulness in praying for Carol. We really feel it, sense it and appreciate it so much!

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Monday, July 26, 2010, 11:30 pm

posted on 07/27/2010

This post will simply be an “all-around-hyper-newsy” type blog.  Candidly, the first three paragraphs are the most important.  Do not feel pressured to work through the other somewhat mundane ramblings.

Carol had chemo last Monday, and was sick on Friday/Saturday/Sunday.  But the earlier part of the week was good – for which we are so grateful!   She was barely able to entertain guests at our backyard pool for our youngest grandson’s (Tyson) first birthday.  She didn’t move very much.  This was the first weekend she was too sick to attend church services in this  third battle with cancer.

She had chemo again today – Monday.  Her oncologist said she cannot take it every week though (impact on her is just too great).  Thus he is going to have her skip next Monday.  She did very good today, for which we thank God.

We are battling with the insurance company regarding Carol’s Avastin.  Anthem Blue Cross has denied coverage.  As stated earlier, the cost is $51,000 per treatment, but allegedly the insurance company is able to get the supplier to accept $17,000 as a full payment.  However, at this time, Anthem is refusing to pay any of it.  Carol has had one treatment two weeks ago and is scheduled to have the next one in two weeks.  With God’s help, we will win.  Life is an interesting challenge, eh?    We are thankful for Laurie Todd, “the insurance warrior.”  Check out Laurie Todd at www.theinsurancewarrior.com.

Now for the “rambling” parts:

I am going to Colorado (Keystone – in the mountains above Denver – on I-70) tomorrow, and back home on Thursday.  I took a risk and bought tickets for Carol – praying she will be able to travel with me.  She was fine today.  We shall see how she is in the morning.

James Robison is gathering a group of pastor-leaders to process what we need to do to see our nation turned back to God.  Jay Richards, author of an incredible book, will speak to us.  His book is titled MONEY, GREED AND GOD.  A couple months ago, I recommended this book to James.  He later called me twice just to say, “recommending that book is the nicest thing you have ever done for me!”

This book is so relevant in this era of out-of-control government spending, obscene debt and oppressive taxation.  It outlines a biblical foundation of economics.  Sound boring?  Not on your life.  It is a compelling read!  An easy read.  A short book.  But packed with solid truth.  I bought a copy for every member of our pastoral team.  Click here to check it out.  If I could, I would send a copy to every pastor in America.

By the way, I was on James Robison’s LIFE TODAY national broadcast.  Click here to check it out.

My brand new book – ENCOUNTERING HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE – comes out next week. This book has so many stories in it of people who have encountered the “afterlife,” (some of them were contributed by those that read these updates – thank you!) I am looking forward to their stories being shared.  Click here to check it out.

Skyline has just launched the most exciting “event” (service?) for young adults.  Several hundred “20somethings” make this one powerful event.  See www.SKY94.com

As you know, we had two high school graduations last month.

Jacob (age 19) has just enrolled in Grossmont College for culinary arts, and at Cuyamaca College for automotive technology.  Sound like an odd combination?  Well it is.  But he seems to show some ability in both areas.  He favors culinary arts, but since so many classes are full, and since he has dual interests, we are looking both directions.  With his two pronged interest, we call him “Meals on Wheels! 

Josie (age 18) just enrolled in Cuyamaca College in the area of physical therapy.  Thus the last few days (including today) were filled with “jumping through the hoops” of enrollment in classes that are already overflowing due to the massive state budget cuts.

Enough family rambling for now.  Sure love my wife.  Sure love my family.  Sure love my church family.  Sure love my community.  We have so much for which to be thankful.  And one of those “things” is YOU!

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Thursday, July 22, 2010, 8pm

posted on 07/22/2010

We are rejoicing that Carol had a very good Tuesday and Wednesday. Based on her body’s response to chemo last week, we anticipated that Tuesday and Wednesday might be difficult. We were so encouraged that they were “good days.” Regretfully, today – Thursday – was a much more difficult day, complete with some nausea.

One of the strongest side effects of chemo is excessive fatigue. Carol has struggled with that a great deal over the past three years, and especially again now.

I commented about the $51,000 Avastin IV medicine that Carol is receiving twice. I stated in an earlier blog that the insurance company apparently argues the drug supplier down and, as such, covers the cost with a payment of $17,000 per treatment. Apparently I spoke too quickly. Anthem Blue Cross informed us today that they will not pay it. (She has already received one treatment.) But (of course) we can appeal. Ugh! As if battling cancer is not enough.

I have very little right to complain, because God and God’s people have been so good to us through this entire journey. However, fighting with an insurance company is one of my least favorite things to do. I will, however, battle this – and, like all of life, I plan to win. Pray for a man named “Eric Chevlen, MD” with Anthem Blue Cross (the man who declined it) to have some confidence in our personal physicians – both here in San Diego and at the MD Anderson Cancer Center.

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Monday, July 19, 2010, 11pm

posted on 07/20/2010

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Wednesday, July 7, 2010, 11 pm

posted on 07/08/2010

As mentioned, last night Carol was ordained. I need to correct what I posted a couple days ago. I stated that the denomination “waived” a number of courses for Carol. I was informed that the courses were not technically “waived.” They simply reviewed Carol’s life experience (39 yrs of ministry during our marriage) and gave credits for that. In other words, she “earned” credits, as opposed to having them “waived.”

The ordination service was an awesome event. The Wesleyan Church (Denomination’s) General Superintendent Jo Anne Lyon (first ever female GS) was INCREDIBLE in her sermon/remarks.  She personalized her comments for each of the 15 persons being ordained. Frankly it was the most touching ordination service I had ever seen.

It was rather emotional when Carol was ordained, as many people in the packed out auditorium knew the story of what Carol is facing at present. Thanks to the efforts of so many people, it was a truly awesome event!

It was webcast so Carol’s parents could watch from Oklahoma City. And some of you were able to see it too. How we thank God for this event being realized. It brought such joy to Carol.

We are no longer “Rev. & Mrs. Garlow.” We are now “Rev. and Rev. Garlow.” Sounds odd, doesn’t it. (I have never used “Reverend” my whole life. Guess I’ll have to use the title now, just to keep up with “Rev.” Carol Garlow!)

Reminder of the “game plan” at present:  Carol has eight known tumors.  Three are “in” the liver.  A couple on the surface of the liver…and three or so more elsewhere.  Only tumors that are at least 1 centimeter (4/10ths of an inch) are detectable.  One of the tumor is too close to the blood supply, specifically the aorta.

Consequently Carol will have chemotherapy first, in hopes of shrinking the tumor, followed by surgery.  The chemo protocal – administered here in San Diego – will consist of carboplatin and part of the taxol family.  Taxol is quite toxic.  Carol will – once again – lose her hair.  But the misery & discomfort are what concern us all.

She will have chemo every week, rather than once every three weeks.  There will be a “round” every three weeks (21 days), along with Avastin.  This will be repeated for three times, thus for 63 days.

The 63^rd day is Sept 13.  Around that date, we will return to Houston for the purpose of re-imagining to see the progress.  Approximately two weeks later, she will have surgery at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.  After another two weeks, she will be released.  We will remain in Houston a bit longer to see if she can handle traveling.  When she is strong enough, we will fly home to San Diego.

Prayers are so very appreciated.

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Monday, July 5, 2010, 11:30 pm

posted on 07/06/2010

We are now back home from our 10 day Next Great Awakening Tour of Boston / New York / New Jersey / Philadelphia / Washington, DC.

It was awesome!  I reported about the first 7 days in an earlier post.  Here is some more info of the rest of the trip.

Day 8 – Saturday, July 3 – began with former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich addressing our group.  He was profound.  Newt has the capacity to focus on macro-ideas in a way like no other.  From there we made our way to Mt. Vernon, beloved home of George Washington.  Rick Tyler, spokesman for Newt Gingrich and Founding Director of Renewing American Leadership, spoke to the group via the intercom on the way to/from Mt. Vernon, clarifying the nature of participation in civil governance.

We then went back to the Capital and met in the Longworth Congressional Building (home of the offices of the House of Representatives) for a talk by Congressman Bob McEwen entitled, “Politics: As Easy as PIE.”  I have heard this talk on numerous occasions, but I never tire of it.  It is the best explanation of the economic underpinnings of government that I have heard. 

At that point we went to Arlington National Cemetery.  Joyce Dentt, our Tour Director, did a most unusual and unanticipated gesture.  She arranged for Carol and me to officially lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  She arranged for a wreath to be delivered for us to lay – from Skyline Church – with the words “Faith, Freedom & Honor” on it. 

This was a most solemn and high honor.  The changing of the guard occurred at 4:30 pm, a most impressive ceremony covering approximately 10 minutes.  After that, the Sentinel announced for people to remain silent and standing for the “laying of the wreath.”  He announced it was from Skyline Church. 

The Sentinel then marched to the top of the steps where Carol and I had been assigned.  He then escorted us to the tomb.  We then placed the wreath.  The “host” Sentinel then led in a 21-second salute, during which time we were to stand with our hand over our heart.  Completing that, we were instructed to turn and he escorted us back up the steps.

It was a remarkable ceremony – rich in tradition and meaning.  It was solemn and sobering.  As I stood there, I was consumed with what a privilege we were being granted: to honor the fallen.  The reality of the price that has been paid for our freedom consumed my thinking. 

(Later I found myself inwardly agitated as I began to reflect on the tragedy of Elena Kagan – an outspoken critic of the military [in spite of her attempts to deny it now] – being considered for a position on the Supreme Court.  How unfortunate for our nation.)

From this moving event, we went to the Capital to view and hear – along with many others (a hundred thousand?) – the dress rehearsal for the official National 4th of July Celebration.

On Day 9 – Sunday, July 4 – we attended Hope Christian Fellowship (Beltsville, MD), where we had arranged for Maggie Gallagher, the articulate founder of the National Organization for Marriage, to speak to our group, followed by the morning service, for which Bishop Harry Jackson – one of America’s most courageous pastors –  had prepared a sermon appropriately entitled “The Next Great Awakening.”

Sunday evening we enjoyed a fabulous dinner cruise on the Potomac River, complete with a superb view of our nation’s capital’s breathtaking fireworks celebration.  Today, Monday, July 5, we flew from Washington, DC back to San Diego.

The trip exceeded my own expectations – and those expectations were high!  I began working on the trip in earnest last December.  It was amazing how details – including the exceptional speakers – came together. 

In addition, the busload of people who went was so very appreciative.  Every single one of them was highly engaged in the content.  Everything that could go right went right!

Carol handled the trip very well.  She did, admittedly, become quite weary at points.  She rarely stayed behind in the hotel, thus she missed very few events.  The wheelchair was an enormous help to her. 

She will be ordained tomorrow night – Tuesday, July 6 – at Skyline Church.  She will begin chemo on Monday, July 12.  Approximately 60-65 days later we will return to MD Anderson Cancer Center for imaging, followed by surgery approximately two weeks later.

Thank you for your ongoing prayer!

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Friday, July 2, 2010 1 pm

posted on 07/02/2010

Just a reminder, on today’s Glenn Beck Show, the women in the audience are from our Next Great Awakening Tour. You should be able to see Carol in the center of the front row, surrounded by several Skyliners.

Here is a quick report from the Next Great Awakening Tour that is going awesome!

Day 0, we flew to Boston. Carol handled the day very well coming from the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. 

Day 1, we went to Lexington Green and Concord Bridge, where the first shot for the Revolutionary War was fired. Next, we toured the Freedom Trail in the heart of Boston led by Paul Jehle, who was dressed in full costume. We finished the day at Harvard University.

Day 2, we spent time at the Mayflower, Plymouth Plantation and Yale University, where Dr. Ken Minkema lectured to us about the impact of the life of Jonathan Edwards, leader of the First Great Awakening. Then, we went on to New York City that night, where we were met by Mike Huckabee. He shared with our group for over an hour.

Day 3, we toured many sites in New York City, including an afternoon chat with major Christian leaders in the city and a time at the United Nations Complex. The day was capped off by seeing an off Broadway show, entitled “The Screwtape Letters,” done brilliantly by Max McLean portraying the CS Lewis book.

Day 4, we took a trip in the New Jersey suburbs to Drew University to see artifacts pertaining to John Wesley and George Whitfield, the evangelists of the First Great Awakening in both England and America, followed by an outstanding one-man play by Roger Nelson from Los Angeles portraying John Wesley in “A Man from Aldersgate.” From there, we went back to New York City to the corner of Fulton and Williams St where the great 1857 Revival broke out. We went to many other sites in the Wall Street area, including a walking tour to the site of Ground Zero and then past the building at 45 Park Avenue that is about to be converted into a very large mosque right near the World Trade Center. At that time, the women of our group went to the Glenn Beck Show for the taping of the Friday broadcast entitled, “Women of the Revolutionary War.” They later joined the rest of us at the Wizard of Oz Broadway show entitled, “Wicked.”

Day 5, we left New York City and went to Monmouth Battlefield, one of the largest land battles of the Revolutionary War, and the famous Tennant Church, where many of the great leaders of the First Great Awakening preached. From there our bus headed to beautiful Ocean Grove, the amazing square mile Holiness Camp Meeting on the Atlantic Ocean. David Barton and I and our wives left Ocean Grove and were driven back to New York City to go to the taping of the Glenn Beck Show, along with a number of other pastors. Then we met with Glenn Beck for three hours after that taping. Our group, in the mean time, went on to Princeton University, Princeton Theological Seminary, the site of the famous Princeton Battlefield of the Revolutionary War, then to Washington’s Crossing and from there to Philadelphia. David and I and our wives were then driven from New York City to Philadelphia to catch up with our group.

Day 6, we toured Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, and the many sites associated with our nation’s founding. In the mean time, David and I flew back to New York City to be on the Glenn Beck Show with a group of about 7-8 pastors / Christian Leaders. Lance Wallnau flew in from Dallas to speak to the group in Philadelphia. Lance Wallnau was, as usual, exceptional in his laying out of how to see the culture transformed. After the show, David and I flew back to Philadelphia to catch up with the group once again.

Day 7, we left Philadelphia early in the morning and went directly to Ft. McHenry where Francis Scott Key penned the words of our national anthem. From there, we traveled to Washington, DC, where we met with Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council. Immediately following that we went to the Fairmont Hotel where Senator Rick Santorum gave one of the most impassioned speeches I have ever heard. We then went to the National Archives to view the Declaration of Independence and Constitution, along with many other documents. From there, we went to a private tour of the Capital Building after hours. It has been a spectacular day!

That is a quick update from the Next Great Awakening Tour. It has been an exceptionally strong event. The people have been appreciative. They are undoubtedly a little bit tired as we have been moving at a phenomenal pace and then putting in, at minimum, 14hr days.  Awesome trip so far!

The trip has exceeded my expectations. The people have responded wonderfully. We are having a very good time. 

Carol has been handling the trip extremely well. We have had her in a wheelchair a great deal of time to save her strength, and that has helped enormously. She has taken a few moments off to go to a hotel to rest up, but otherwise she is hanging right in there in an awesome way. We found out that she will begin chemo on Monday, July 12. She will have it every Monday for nine weeks (three, three-week cycles.)

Thank you for your prayer for this trip!

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Friday, June 25, 2010 7:30 am

posted on 06/25/2010

Day 2 at MD Anderson Hospital was Wednesday. Carol stayed in Houston to have a liver ultrasound, while I had flown home to San Diego for Josie’s graduation. We got the results of the ultrasound on Day 3.

Josie’s graduation was a joy and a delight. We were surrounded by many wonderful Skyliners who also had high school seniors graduating. The day was an outstanding and perfect day.

Carol was able to listen to the graduation over the phone, and thanks to a Valhalla furnished camera, camera person and a wonderful Skyliner who is the nurse at Valhalla – Colleen – an excellent video documentary was made of Josie’s graduation and was later posted on YouTube, which Carol was able to watch. Because Colleen was able to go “backstage,” Carol saw more of the graduation preparation than we did in the audience!

The only oddities or disappointments in the day were that the high school valedictorian worked into his speech that throughout high school he had learned how “oppressive” the world can be, and the examples he used were the Holocaust and Prop 8. I wondered if the speech were approved and by whom. The valedictorian managed to take a swipe at natural, traditional marriage, which has been honored for 5000+ years, and use it as an example of oppression and even tie it to something as horrific as the Holocaust!

The other unfortunate note was allowed thanks to the lunacy of Sacramento’s SB777 law, which states that if a high school boy suddenly feels like he is a girl, then he gets to use the girl’s restroom and locker room. Apparently, that must have happened on graduation day. All of the girls were in white gowns and all of the boys were in characteristic Valhalla orange caps and gowns, but one of the boys apparently felt like a girl. Thus, he was allowed to wear the female white robe and wore high heels, based on the lunacy of bizarre and very bad laws.

(It is interesting to note that in Genesis God established – in this order – gender specificity, marriage and procreation. The enemy, in his attempt to undue all of the good that God has done, has led the charge to destroy procreation via abortion, decimate marriage by attempting to redefine it, and cause confusion by the loss of gender specificity in laws, that are cropping up in various states, where persons are no longer male or female.)

I arrived back in Houston late Wednesday night to be with Carol. Carol’s sister Kathy had been with her throughout the day. That was a great help to Carol and it sure eased my mind.

Thursday morning was Day 3 at MD Anderson Hospital. We went to an orientation to the hospital complex. Following that, we met with Dr. Judith Wolf (click here for more info).

She explained that the one tumor interior to the liver was now three tumors and one of them had grown more than 1cm in the last three weeks, so its size is now 3cm.

In addition, there are more tumors showing up exterior to the liver. There are now a total of about 8 visible tumors. Remember, any tumor under 1cm cannot be picked up by either ultrasound or MRI.

Many options were discussed in terms of treatment. Allow me to cut to the chase.

1) Carol will not be having the HIPEC surgery. There were seven doctors here and it was a 7-0 vote not to have the HIPEC for a number of reasons. All of them felt it was far too high of a risk and did not give adequate benefits for Carol’s condition.

2) Carol was eligible for a clinical trial. Dr. Wolf, however, felt that it would not be a fit for Carol because if a person is in a clinical trial, they are not allowed to have any debulking, that is surgery, because there must be “traceable” tumors. We wanted to have the capacity to have surgery at any time. Therefore, Carol will not become part of a clinical trial.

3) Carol will begin chemotherapy with a new form of taxol related chemotherapy, taxotere, immediately following our trip to the East Coast and Carol’s ordination on July 6, presumably beginning on July 7. The doctor felt we could wait without any consequences until July 7, but she does not want to wait any longer than that.

4) In addition to taxotere, Carol will have the medication referred to as Avastin. These treatments will follow a three week pattern, three of them in a row. At the first of each of the three week cycles, Carol will be administered Avastin. Thus, she will have 21 days of a particular treatment, followed by 21 more days of the repeated treatment, followed by a final round of 21 days of the repeated treatment. Therefore Carol’s chemotherapy will take her approximately 63 days to complete.

 The chemotherapy will be done, while we are in San Diego, during July, August and early September. It will be done under the supervision of Carol’s oncologist Dr. Andrew Hampshire and Dr. Afshin Bahador, who studied under Dr. Judith Wolf.  We are so grateful for our San Diego doctors.

At the culmination of the three 21-day cycles, Carol will have re-imaging. The re-imaging will probably be CT scans and will be done in Houston right after Labor Day weekend. Approximately two weeks later, perhaps around Sept 20, Carol will have extensive surgery at MD Anderson Hospital. Her recovery time will be approximately two weeks or possibly a little more.  Everything I’m reporting is based upon what information we have at this time, although things can certainly change.

On a more emotive level, in the course of the conversation with Dr. Judith Wolf, Carol shared how she was so thrilled to be able to have the summer months and not be recovering from surgery all summer. She began to tell how the thing she was missing most about the loss of the summer was to not be able to swim in the pool and the ocean with her five grandsons. When she began describing the passion she has for swimming in the pool with her five grandsons, she began to tear up. Dr. Wolf stood up and hugged Carol and held her for a very long time. It was a very tender moment. Dr. Judith Wolf is not only profoundly bright, she is also compassionate. The two things we always prayed for with our doctors are competence and compassion. These are an unbeatable combination.

It is now Friday morning at nearly 10 am in Houston. We are packing to leave for the Houston airport. We will fly to Dallas Ft. Worth. Jake and Josie left our home at 6:45 am San Diego time. We will all meet together in Dallas Ft. Worth airport and from there will fly to Boston to begin the Next Great Awakening Tour (click here for details). We will give short updates on the tour, as we travel. Quite likely, our videographer will be downloading videos on YouTube.

We came to Houston asking God for a plan. We wanted to see a strategy. We felt his hand upon us, as the doctor talked to us yesterday. After we heard the options, Carol and I immediately came to exactly the same consensus. Obviously, the decision is ultimately hers, not mine, but we had immediate consensus as to the treatment strategy we were to follow, as the doctor began presenting the various options. We are grateful for MD Anderson Hospital and thankful that we have come here. We believe it is a significant part of Carol’s treatment strategy.

Special thanks to my first cousin, Shelley Terrill, and her husband, Jerry, who drove Carol and me, or just me, to the airport repeatedly, probably more than 10 hours of driving. That was an enormous help!

Your prayers are so needed and very much appreciated.

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010, 11:45 pm

posted on 06/23/2010

Carol and I arrived Monday night at Houston’s MD Anderson Cancer Center – part of the Texas Medical Center.  As many of you know, it consists of 700 acres of high rise hospitals and medical and dental schools clustered together – with (as we were told) 85,000 employees, 90,000 students and 100,000 patients per day!  In true Texas form, massive!

Dr. Judith Wolf is great.  Knowledgeable & a superb listener.  We are glad we have met her.  She and the team will be a help in guiding us, advising us.  It is always a good thing to get a “second opinion.” 

However, the painful reality is this:  there is no “silver bullet.”  We naively (emphasis on naively) hoped that MD Anderson would offer SOME new protocol, SOME new potential medical breakthrough, SOME indication of a way to win over Stage 3c Primary Peritoneal Cancer that has moved into the liver, SOME hope.  Thus far, that has not been the case.

We are only done with day one.  But once again, the medical realities were presented.  They are not “pretty.”

We heard some potential reasons why we should not go forward with the proposed HIPEC procedure (now scheduled for July 8).  We were aware of the 3% mortality rate. 

However, we were surprised by the 50% (yes, that is 50%) morbidity rate.  That is, 50% of the patients going through this procedure are injured – with serious consequences!  Obviously, that news was tough to take.

Frankly, we are not sure what to do.  We have more days to sort this all out.

Tomorrow Carol will have a liver ultrasound. 

I left at 4 pm (Tues) to catch a flight home so I could be at Josie’s Wednesday morning Valhalla High School graduation.  Carol’s sister – Kathy – arrived from Dallas at 3:30 pm to be with Carol this evening and tomorrow, so I was very thankful for that.

I got on the plane in Houston, and they announced – as we took off – that we were going to San Antonio, not Phoenix as I thought.  After making a thousand (or thousands of) flights, I thought, “Oh no, I got on the wrong plane!”  Turns out it was making an unknown (to me, at least) stop in San Antonio – then Phoenix – then finally San Diego.  So, after a delightful “tour,” I arrived at home late Tuesday.  I will fly back to Houston after Josie’s graduation.

I don’t have words that have not already been said, so many times.  Thank you for allowing me to be so repetitious.  Carol needs a miracle.  We are still “pressing in” for exactly that.  Thank you for “pressing” with us.

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Sunday morning, June 20, 2010, 12:01am

posted on 06/20/2010

Three years ago today, June 20, at approximately 6:45 am, a “mass” was discovered, which has totally altered the 1,000+ days since then.  After being in the emergency room all night, we assumed that we might not hear anything for some time, so Carol suggested I go home and wake the kids up.

I raced home around 6:30 am to get our kids off to school.  At 7:09, Carol called me from the emergency room and said in uncharacteristic assertive tones, “Come now!”  “Now, I replied?  I just got home to get the kids ready for school.”  “Come now,” she repeated, “they have found a mass.”  “A mass?” I muttered.  Continuing, “You mean…like a cancer kind of mass?”  “Yes!”  “I am coming now,” I stated, and hung up and walked – and then drove “the 8” – in a daze.  That is how it started – three years ago – June 20, 2007.  Much has happened since that morning phone call.

Now for some good news:  As you know, Carol and I will be going to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston on Monday morning.  As I reported in the June 15 blog, she wept when she realized that she would miss Josie’s graduation on Wednesday morning.

However, a neat thing happened Friday night.  We had already scheduled a small graduation party for Jake and Josie.  I called Brian Wilbur – a Grossmont School District administrator – and asked if there was a chance that someone official might come from Valhalla High School and stage a “mock” graduation, of sorts.  He placed a few calls and within hours had arranged for Valhalla High School Principal Mary Beth Kastan and Grossmont USD Board Member Jim Kelly to be present.

The evening consisted of tributes from Josie’s teachers and mentors, followed by Jake’s wrestling coaches speaking about him.  Following that were tributes by brother, sister, their spouses and, of course, mom and dad.

Toward the end of the evenings festivities, Brian – who was MC for the evening’s events – looked at Carol and said, “You have gone to Janie’s high school and college graduations.  You have gone to Joshua’s high school and college graduations.  You have gone to Jacob’s high school graduation last Tuesday night.  But you will not be attending Josie’s high school graduation.  You will be in Houston at the MD Anderson Cancer Hospital.  Therefore, since you cannot come to the graduation, the graduation has come to you!”

The principal and the school district board member then joined Brian the administrator on the platform. It was then that Carol realized what was happening. It was an electric moment.  Carol began sobbing as she realized she would actually see Josie graduate after all!

“Pomp and Circumstance” was played as Josie entered – in Valhalla High School’s totally white cap and gown (that had been hidden from her mother).  The principal presented the graduate to the board member with the usual official speech after which the board member officially “received” the graduating class (or should we say graduate), whereupon the name of “Josie Annelise Garlow” was called.  She proudly “walked” – receiving her diploma from the principal of her high school with the traditional left hand accompanied by the official right hand handshake.

Since the graduation party was for both Jake and Josie, it was decided not to leave Jake out, even though he had officially graduated from Excelsior Academy three nights before.  But even the repeated graduation was very appropriate because Excelsior Academy is part of Grossmont system’s approved “non-public placement” institutions.

(For those of you outside California, “non-public placement” means that the state pays the approximate $20,000 annual tuition for specialized instruction in cases where it is merited and needed.  There are many such schools in the state’s metropolitan areas.  Yet these specialized institutions are linked to actual school districts.)

Therefore Jake was, in reality, a Grossmont USD grad as well – even though he attended Excelsior Academy.  Therefore Brian Wilbur, an official of the Grossmont USD, “re-presented” Jake’s diploma.

At that time, Brian directed Jake and Josie in the traditional “turning of the tassels” from right to left – carrying out the final step of the graduating program.  And, as such, Carol, after all, got to see Josie graduate!

After the ceremony, Josie handed the diploma back to Principal Kastan, thinking that it would be needed for the school’s scheduled Wednesday graduation.  The principal stated, “Keep it.  You are now officially graduated.  What you will receive Wednesday will be blank, just like all the students.  They will then go get their actual diplomas.  But you will have yours.  As of tonight, you are now a graduate.  This was official!”

And it was!  And Carol was there to see it!

We are still trying to see if we can Skype or webcast or somehow play Josie’s Wednesday graduation ceremony live for Carol over the internet to a computer in her hospital room.

If we cannot, it will be put on YouTube within minutes after the graduation and she will, for certain, be able to watch it then.  But in one sense, the regularly scheduled graduation might feel just a bit anticlimactic after having the “official” one at Josie’s graduation party!

Bottom line, Carol and I leave for MD Anderson on Monday morning.  We will arrive in Houston early Monday evening.  She begins the evaluative consultation early Tuesday morning with Dr. Judith Wolf.

To our surprise and delight, we just discovered on Friday that Carol’s surgical oncologist here in San Diego – Dr. Afshin Bahador – studied under Dr. Judith Wolf while he was a resident at MD Anderson many years ago.  We were so thankful for that connection.

I will fly back late Tuesday night for Josie’s graduation early Wednesday morning, and then fly right back to Houston on Wednesday afternoon, thanks to a gracious Skyline family that provided me with free tickets!

Carol and I will be at MD Anderson till Friday noon, at which time we will fly from Houston to Dallas-Ft. Worth airport – meeting Jake and Josie there – and continuing on to Boston for the NEXT GREAT AWAKENING TOUR that I am co-leading (with David Barton) of Boston – Harvard – Yale – New York City – Princeton – Philadelphia – Washington, DC.

I received word on Thursday that approximately 10 or 12 pastors were invited to have dinner with Glenn Beck in New York City in late June (preceded by attending the Glenn Beck Show), so I will be breaking away from the tour at one point – driven to that meeting – and then be driven during the night to catch up with the group the next morning.  I am looking forward to that.

As I noted in the June 15 post, we believe we have made all the provisions for Carol to be able to enjoy the East Coast trip.  For starters my sister is a nurse, and she and her husband are on the tour.  To top that, my brother is a doctor, and he and his wife are joining us too.  In addition, some of the nation’s top prayer warriors – who really understand healing – are with us.  So Carol should have quite good care!

In some cities we have arranged for an electric cart.  The last time I did that was in the Opryland Hotel in Nashville.  To be candid, Carol speeds – both on the freeway in her car and when driving an electric cart.  In the Nashville hotel, she raced down hallways – unbelievably fast.  I could never keep up.

Then each time we boarded an elevator, she went so spankin’ fast that she slammed into the back wall of the elevator.  Every time!  I am sure that the Opryland had to remodel the interiors of the elevators after we left.

Amazingly, we had the same conversation in every elevator.  Jim: “It is not necessary for you to drive into the elevator so fast that you slam into the back wall.”  Carol: “Oh, I have to hurry.  The elevator doors might close!”  Jim: “But the elevator doors won’t close if you are driving in.  They are equipped with sensors so they will not close on a body.”  Carol: “But I am not merely a body.  I am driving a cart.  Besides, one never knows how long before the sensors will decide ‘enough time, we are closing.’  Therefore I must get out of the way.  Besides, (and at this time she would smile) it’s fun to drive fast!”

And that was the conversation we had multiple times a day – every time she boarded an elevator.  I can only image what challenges lie ahead as she uses an electric scooter on Boston’s Freedom Trail and around Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell.  Beware, East Coast!  Carol cometh!

Thank you for praying for us as we go to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston.  We shall post updates from there.  In the meantime, your prayers are appreciated and needed.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010, 1 am (in the Morning)

posted on 06/15/2010

Well, this much I know: (1) God is good, (2) cancer is bad, and (3) life is complex! 

There was a “sea change” today in plans for Carol’s treatment.  There are some good things about it, as well as some challenging things.  For those of you who want the update in one sentence: (1) Carol is going to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston;  (2) She will miss Josie’s high school graduation.  She is extremely disappointed.

For those of you who have time for the “full story,” here it is:

As most of you know, as of March 1, I accepted an appointment from former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich to serve as Chairman of ReAL (Renewing American Leadership).  Through my involvement with ReAL, we were connected to Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach.  He phoned me Monday morning, and asked many questions regarding Carol.

Allow me to explain who he is.  Dr. Eschenbach has served as a national leader of multiple prestigious organizations.  He was the Commissioner of the FDA (United States Food and Drug Administration) from 2006–2009.

Prior to that, he was the Director of NCI, the National Cancer Institute.  Von Eschenbach was president-elect of the American Cancer Society when he was selected by President George W. Bush to head the NCI in December 2001.

In 1976, Von Eschenbach began his long association with internationally renown University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, beginning as a urologic oncology fellow and becoming chair of the department of urology in 1983. He was founding director of the Prostate Cancer Research Program in 1996, director of the Genitourinary Cancer Center.

In 2006, Time Magazine named him as one of the Time 100 “People Who Shape Our World,” writing that as head of the FDA, he “wields enormous influence on American lives.”

On a personal note, he is a cancer survivor himself – twice.  He is, as he calls it, “faith-based” in his medical practice, as a devout Catholic.  It is quite comforting when he, amidst all is knowledge and honors, shared with us in a most tender way, and then reassured us that he is praying for Carol.

Having stated who he is, I hasten to explain what he shared.  He emphasized that we were at a very serious and critical crossroads, with no margin for error.  In clear and compassionate tones, he explained we had only one chance to do the right thing.

The spread of the cancer indicates a strong likelihood of it manifesting in other parts of her body.  We must not only select the correct modality (HIPEC might still be that), but also the correct chemotherapy.  He urged us gently and persuasively that we need a “full spectrum of experts” and that the cancer needed to be treated systemically.  Although he affirmed our team of oncologists here (and so do we!), he suggested we get a second opinion – from any one of the leading cancer research centers in America. 

We indicated we were certainly open – as so much is at stake.  However, here is the challenging part regarding scheduling three or four days in Houston:

1. Jake graduates from Excelsior Academy Tuesday, June 15 – today! (I have the privilege of being the graduation speaker).
2. We wanted to have a small gathering for Jake & Josie’s graduation on Friday night June 18.
3. Josie graduates from Valhalla High School on Wednesday, June 23.
4. I am leading the NEXT GREAT AWAKENING TOUR covering Boston – Harvard – Yale – New York City – many sites in New Jersey – Princeton – Philadelphia – Washington, DC, from June 25 to July 5 (see  http://www.skylinechurch.org/images/NGAtourWebReAL.pdf )
5. Carol is being ordained on Tuesday night, July 6, at the Pacific Southwest District of the Wesleyan Church Conference, held at Skyline Church.
6. Her HIPEC surgery was (maybe still is?) scheduled for July 8

So the obvious question: how do we take three or maybe even four days and go to Houston?  Obviously cancer – or any disease – never comes at a “convenient” time.  But what do we cancel?  What major family event will she not attend? 

We were in hopes that Carol’s evaluation might be between June 16 and June 22, a time frame which had events that we could easily cancel.  We could then go to Houston without having to miss major family events. 

But we were not thusly successful.  

Dr. Eschenbach graciously called MD Anderson Cancer Center and – in the span of less than fifteen minutes – was able to make an appointment with Dr. Judith Wolf (See http://faculty.mdanderson.org/Judith_Wolf/)  This is something we could not have accomplished on our own in such a timely fashion.

However, the only time Dr. Wolf could begin the evaluation process with Carol was early on Tuesday, June 22.  This means that Carol would be in Houston on Wednesday, June 23 – the day of Josie’s graduation!  Carol handled it well at first.  Then it hit her – around 8 pm this evening.  She sobbed and sobbed.  Jake and Josie held her during the long cry.  (I was crying for her – on the inside.  I still am as I type this.) 

Carol and I will fly to Houston on Monday, June 21.  I will fly back home that same day, on Tuesday night so I can be home for Josie’s graduation early Wednesday morning, June 23.  It really pains me to think of leaving Carol behind!  Then after Josie’s graduation, I will fly right back to Houston, arriving there by midnight Wednesday night, to be with Carol for Thursday and Friday’s procedures.

On Friday morning June 25, Jake and Josie will leave San Diego to fly to Boston with some of our friends – to begin the NEXT GREAT AWAKENING TOUR.  Carol and I will fly from Houston to Dallas-Ft. Worth to connect with them there, as we all go to Boston.  We will make the Boston – New York City – Philadelphia – Washington, DC trip together with a busload of 52 people. 

We believe Carol will be able to handle the trip.  We will rent electric scooters for her some places.  We will have a walker and a wheel chair for her.  We are “setting up shop” for her on the bus to make sure she is well cared for!

The trip was part of Jake and Josie’s graduation present (although there have been rumors that dad was more excited about the trip than Jake and Josie!).  However, I would never have planned such a trip had I have known what we would be faced with on Carol’s cancer journey.  As soon as we became aware of the cancer recurrence on April 19, I tried to see if the trip could be cancelled.  By that time however, we had entered into contracts all over the East Coast.  There was no feasible way out.

So – based on what we know at this time, during the early morning hours (1 am) of Tuesday, June 15 – Carol is going to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston for an evaluation.  She will likely be in a consultation/evaluation – again based on what we know now – from Wednesday (June 22) through Friday (June 25).  At that point, it will be determined what we do next.

It is quite possible that we may still go forward with the previously planned HIPEC surgery with Dr. Robert Barone and Dr. Afshim Bahador here in San Diego.  We simply do not know at this time.

We continue to fight hard.  In prayer – against the enemy.  With medical technology – against aberrant cells.  With hope – against despair.  With God-given strength – against occasional moments of fatigue.

Rosie Diaz shared something with the entire church yesterday in one of the weekend services.  She said, “we are at a point when he need to ‘take it up a notch’ in terms of all church praying and fasting.”  That phrase echoed over in my head all day yesterday and today.  I could not get it out of my mind.  You all – as church family and as friends across the nation – have been so very faithful in praying for Carol.  But perhaps we, as a church, will need to – as Rosie put – “take it up a notch” in terms of praying and fasting.  I am asking my self what that means for me personally.

We will fight.  We will win.  Because of a faithful God…and a wonderful family, church family and friends.

Thank you!

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Thursday, June 10, 2010, 9am

posted on 06/10/2010

We just received word that Carol’s cancer markers (CA-125) have continued climbing.  “Normal” for Carol is 5 to 8. Second occurrence of cancer (2009) sent it to 11.  Recently they have gone from 21 to 29 and as of today, 57.  Is indicative of tumorous activity.

Matt 20:30, “…when they heard that Jesus passed by, cried out, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord, thou Son of David.”

(See Tuesday, June 8 post for full details.)

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Tuesday, June 8, 2010, 11pm

posted on 06/08/2010

Note: In this third round of cancer in three years, Carol and I are determined to

1. not allow cancer to define our lives, and
2. not allow Carol’s health challenge to put a “black cloud” over our church and family.

Now – for the update.

Carol and I spent four hours in doctor’s offices today: Oncologist Andrew Hampshire and HIPEC Surgical Oncologist Robert Barone.  We capped off the day talking on the phone to Dr. Afshim Bahador, Carol’s ongoing Surgical Oncologist.

For those who want the bottom line in the first sentence, here it is:  We need a miracle and we need it soon.  Based on what we heard today, Carol will likely have the HIPEC surgery – perhaps as soon as July 8 (though date is not certain).  Allow me to share the “tough stuff” right up front.

We were told that our meeting with one of the nation’s top HIPEC specialists (Dr. Robert Barone, largest HIPEC center on the West Coast, and 4^th largest in the U.S.) would be sobering.  It was.

The tough news today was as follows:

1. One of her tumors, measuring 2.2 cm by 1.5 cm, is deep in the liver, in the inferior right lobe.  The surgeon is not certain that he will be able to resect it. If he cannot, he might consider using radiofrequency ablation with carefully inserted probes.
2. The fact that the tumor is embedded so deeply in the liver has confirmed that which we did not want to hear:  the cancer is now being carried by the bloodstream.
3. The surgeon is uncertain if there is other cancerous activity occurring there.  If there is, he will not be able to resect multiple deeply embedded liver tumors due to the amount of damage to the liver.
4. There is a smaller nodule on the surface (subcapsular) of the liver measuring 1.2 cm x 1.1 cm.  This one is much easier to resect.
5. Although Dr. Barone has done HIPEC surgery for twenty years (he is one of the pioneers of this modality), it has high risks, specifically a 3% mortality rate within the first thirty days after surgery.  Although 97% surgery survival might seem high, most of us would not want a treatment with a 3% mortality rate.  (It is of little consolation that the mortality rate for this surgery has dropped from 8% to 3% during two decades.  The reduction of deaths is caused merely because persons whose cancer has metastasized significantly are now being turned down for the procedure, whereas they used to be accepted for HIPEC.  In other words, the mortality rate has dropped merely due to more strenuous screening of candidates.)
6. The MRI from last Friday, June 4, revealed that tumorous activity has spread to two other areas besides the one on the surface of the liver and the one embedded in the liver.
   1. There is a tumor near the back of the abdominal region, near the base of the aortic bifurcation, in one of the lymph nodes.
   2. There is tumorous activity, or “serosal enhancements,” in the region near the liver.  The serous membrane outlines the abdominal cavity.
7. Since there were several areas that “lit up” with the diffusion weighted imaging (MRI), it is believed that there are many other tumors that were undetected due to the fact that they are under 1 centimeter.
8. One more note in the financial arena: Due to the fact that HIPEC is relatively new, the chemotherapy will not be covered by our Blue Cross-Blue Shield Insurance.  This was our first time to hear that.  We had, as of June 1, switched from an HMO to a PPO to give us greater and quicker latitude to get Carol into a clinical trial somewhere in the U.S.  However, neither a HMO nor PPO (at least Blue Cross) will cover the HIPEC procedure.

HIPEC is an aggressive treatment designed to battle highly aggressive cancer.  HIPEC stands for Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy or sometimes for Hyperthermic Intraoperative Chemotherapy.  What does that mean?

• The entire abdominal is fully opened up, a procedure that Carol experienced in June of 2007.
• The surgeon and his team will resect tumors (called debulking) in the liver and throughout the abdominal region.  Remember, Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma consists of many small tumors, compared to “grains of sand on a hardwood floor.”  Carol had over 100 tumors resected in June 2007.  However they varied from quite small to increasing sizes, all the way to the size of an orange.
• Catheters are placed on both sides of the body.
• The patient is closed up.
• The chemotherapy is heated to 108 degrees, thus the term hyperthermic.
• The heated chemotherapy is placed in the abdomen through a catheter on one side and then, in a crude sense, sort of “sloshing” it around.
• The reason for putting the chemo in immediately is
  • Adhesions (scar tissue) form quickly that later prohibit the free flow of chemotherapy.
  • Malignant cells are left over from the surgery, scattered throughout the surgical region of the body that can cause the cancer to spread even faster after surgery.  The post-surgically applied chemotherapy can kill these left-over scattered cancer cells immediately.
• The chemotherapy remains in the abdominal cavity for 90 minutes, and then is drained out the catheters on the other side of the abdomen.
• A sterile saline solution is then flushed through the abdomen.
• A very guarded period then begins, watching for any infection.
• The patient is in ICU for approximately four days, and in the hospital for another 3-4 weeks.

What is the advantage to HIPEC over traditionally intervenous administered chemo?  IV chemo or “systemic chemo” circulates the chemo through the entire body.  Understandably it becomes somewhat diluted by the time it reaches the abdomen.  Through the HIPEC procedure, a much higher dose of chemotherapy is used.  The diseased cells are more strongly impacted by the chemo.

I suspect I have shared enough “techy” stuff.  And I have shared a lot of “tough stuff.”

We are not in denial, but we are pressing forward.  Carol and I are “in it to win it.”  We do not plan to lose.  We are planning for victory.  We fully understand the depth of the problem.  But we are pressing for Carol to enter the “miracle zone.”

We are so very grateful for all who are praying for her.  We need prayer so badly.  We are asking Jesus of Nazareth to walk by her – and touch her.  Jesus brought a man back from the dead and has performed hundreds of thousands of miracles since then, right up to the present.  He can do one more.

At this moment, I will delay writing the tender, emotive things Carol and I are experiencing.  That will come another time – perhaps soon.  Suffice it to say, we are madly in love – more so than ever.  We are savoring every moment.  We have spent lots of time together in recent weeks – and savored every second.  We have been married 39 ½ years.  I am more in love with her than ever!

Yes, I get scared sometimes.  Really scared!  I admit it.  I cannot image life without her.  The thought of losing her is unbearable.  I have to come against fear strongly – pushing it back, while releasing faith.

But I don’t have to “live out” every scenario right now.  I need to live in 15 minute intervals.  And in this 15 minute period, my wife is alive and (sort of) well.

And as I finish this at 11 pm at night, I am going to go now and hold her.

Good night.

---

Friday, May 21, 2010, 10pm

posted on 05/21/2010

I sat down to write a detailed update re: Carol, but received a call telling me that 21 year old Leah Trask, daughter of Bill & Vicky Trask (very active members of Skyline Church here in San Diego) was killed in a tragic car crash south of Salina, KS near where she was a student at Bethany College (Lindsborg, KS).  Since I am from that area of the country, and have many friends & relatives there, I have been on the phone with contacts in Salina attempting to help with the situation.

Therefore, I will write about Carol’s condition later.  But here is the short version:

• Met with Dr. Afshim Bahador, surgical oncologist, on Thursday;  he explained the seriousness of the situation.
• Carol will have another MRI June 4
• Will meet with Oncologist Andrew Hampshire June 8 to go over results
• Will meet with Dr. Robert Barone – an aggressive surgical oncologist (who tends to specialize, we are told, in livers) on June 8 also

What is likely – I repeat, likely –  to occur (as things are uncertain right now):

• Carol surgery – again – mid July possibly
• Dr. Barone – surgically removing nodules in liver
• Dr. Bahador – will focus on abdominal area
• Then, while still opened up, she will have a treatment known as HIPEC – which stands for Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy;  see here

Positively, this is aggressive treatment (for an aggressive cancer).

Regretfully, this procedure has no “guarantees,” and it does have risks.  I will write about those in the next post.

Negatively, she would be in ICU for a period, and in the hospital for an extended period.

Positively we would not be going to other cities or states trying to get into a clinical trial.

We are still a bit tentative on all this, but this is where we are leaning at this time.

In the meantime, we are prepared to receive a miracle.  Carol needs one.  Soon.

Prayer needed.

---

Thursday, May 13, 2010, 6pm

posted on 05/13/2010

On a positive note, Carol preached last weekend, in all four services.  I was so proud of her.  (Note: Since this update is read by many outside of our church family, I report on some things that you Skyliners already know.) You can listen to her sermon here

She was totally shocked when Steve Babby (the District Superintendent of the Pacific Southwest District of the Wesleyan Denomination) presented her with a certificate saying that all courses for ministerial ordination were now complete and she would be officially ordained a minister in the Wesleyan Church at the District Conference to be held Tuesday, July 6 at 7 pm.  (The district ordination service will be held this time at Skyline Church!)

Carol has a Bachelors degree from the prestigious Westminster Choir College in Princeton, New Jersey.  However, over the course of the nearly four decades of our marriage (on Jan 30, it will be 40 years!), she slowly switched from working in music to church ministry.  Therefore she began doing the courses of study toward ordination.  During the past three years of battling cancer, she was not able to complete many courses.  With this last diagnosis, she said in discouragement, “I’ll never be ordained.”

That is when Steve Babby went to work.  She had completed the core courses, but she had several electives that needed to be done.  Steve appealed to the appropriate persons and departments for what is called “credit by portfolio,” that is, credit for years of ministry being done.

It was a surprise to me when Steve informed me that he had successfully led the appeal, and that she would be ordained!  I was so excited!  I could not keep it a secret so (knowing she would not read my website post or Facebook), I announced it to the world.  And you kept the secret!  She was SO surprised when Steve made the presentation in the Saturday night service. It really made her day!  (Or should I say “week” or “month.”)  THANK YOU STEVE BABBY!

Now for an update on the cancer battle:  We have not learned very much in one week, which I find rather disappointing.  To cut to the chase, all we know is that they are going to do another MRI, and it is scheduled for June 4. In all candor, things are moving way too slowly for me and my temperament.  There is a difference between “deliberate” and “slow.” Deliberate is good. This just feels “slow.”

Those of you who have been in a battle with cancer or some disease for multiple years can understand the undertow of frustration that one feels in these moments.  I do not expect instant answers.  But I do expect timely action.  At this point, it feels like we have neither.  (Am I using this post for too much personal catharsis!??!)

Apparently the last MRI did not contain adequate gadolinium contrast.  Thus they are re-doing it.

If the two tumors revealed by the CT scan in the liver are confirmed to be cancerous, as they think they are, and if the cancerous activity is confined to the liver, then there are several options, including surgical resection, radiofrequency ablation, and/or cyberknife radiosurgery.

If, however, the cancer appears to be scattered other places (in addition to the liver) throughout the abdominal cavity, then chemotherapy is the preferred treatment.

If chemotherapy is the route of treatment, then we will be exploring “tertiary treatment” possibilities which would mean going to another city or state.  (Primary means a local hospital; secondary refers to a large regional center; tertiary refers to research based teaching centers, that tend to be more experimental.)

There are many clinical trials occurring across America, but we would have to find one that fits Carol’s needs and one in which she would be accepted. I have switched our HMO to a PPO to grant us greater flexibility – so we are set to go wherever.

We had thought that a CT guided needle biopsy would be done of the liver. However, they feel that at this time (due to the depth in the liver of one of the nodules), the risk is too high for such a procedure.

We did get a call that we will see Carol’s original oncological surgeon, Dr. Afshim Bahador, next Wed, May 19.

Other than that we have little substantive to report.

When a person has a cancer diagnosis, then many persons emerge with advice on how to handle cancer.  This is not a negative thing, as it is an indication that people care and want to help.  That is a wonderful thing.

However, there is much evaluating to be done, as one cannot possible try everything that is suggested.  During the last three years, I have seen hundreds and hundreds of suggestions for handling cancer.  Some of them may be valid.  Some of them might not be.  Some of them may be valid for others types of cancer than what Carol battles.

The challenge with cancer (as most of you know) is that it is not monolithic.  There are so many kinds of cancer.  Secondly, there are so many variables based on staging.  For example, two persons might have the exact same type of cancer, at the same stage, yet respond totally differently to treatment.

I am truly amazed how little is known about this disease.  Think of all the people you know who have fought cancer.  Some are winning the battle.  Many have lost it.

I am one of the few persons that reads the obituary page in a metropolitan newspaper.  It is astounding how many times the listing includes the well worn phrase “…after a long and courageous battle with cancer.”

And almost all conversation about cancer is really about trying to manage the effects of cancer (tumors), as opposed to understanding what is causing this widespread dysfunction in our bodies.

I did not mean to get a bit philosophical, but I marvel that after multiple decades since the “war on cancer” was declared as President Nixon signed the National Cancer Act on Dec 23, 1971, there seems to be so little progress.

But in the mean time, we do not give up hope.  We do believe in God’s love for Carol.  We do affirm God’s healing power.  We do recognize the power of prayer.  And we are profoundly grateful for your ongoing interest and prayer.

Pressing forward, we plan to win!

---

Friday, May 7, 2010, 4 pm

posted on 05/07/2010

Here is the latest update re: our struggle with the cancer. 

First – for those of you that read this and are outside this area (most of you are out of state), you need to know that Carol looks great, and feels quite good.  If you were to see her, you would agree that she looks very healthy.  (In fact, in my humble [though correct] opinion, she looks as beautiful as ever, that is, according to her unbiased husband.)

But unfortunately the latest news is not good.  In fact, this is one of those times I have put off writing because I do not like writing difficult news.  Carol’s oncologist called last evening around 5:45 pm to inform us that the CT scan revealed that the lungs are fine.  However, he informed me that there are now two presumably cancerous nodules in her liver.  We were quite stunned by this. 

As you know, cancer in the liver is never a good sign.  But what is more disconcerting is the fact that the tumors are not on the surface, as would be normal with peritoneal cancer, but (at least one of them) is deeply embedded within the liver.  The oncologist believes that the only way the tumor got there was through the bloodstream.  This has profound implications for the future – barring a miracle (which we are counting on!).  Carol was gone when the call came, thus the oncologist, during one point in the call, had a frank conversation with me about what we are facing. 

We called our extended family together to our home at 9:30 pm last night to assess the situation.  On the phone with us (beginning at 11:30 pm their time) was my brother – Dr. Bill Garlow, a radiologist, to help us sort out issues – from Kansas, and Carol’s sister and brother in law – Kathy & Larry Goad – from the Dallas area.  We talked at length.  We prayed.  And sometimes, we cried.

Our Oncologist, Dr. Andy Hampshire, will consult with Carol’s original oncological surgeon, Dr. Afshim Bahador, to see where they go from here.  A radiologist will assess if they are able to do a CT guided needle biopsy of the liver, to assess for certain what has appeared there.  There are several perplexing facts about this situation, which make the prescribed treatment a bit complex, but I won’t take you through all of those right now.

The oncologist is considering sending Carol into one of the clinical trials underway somewhere across America.  We do not know what city or state in which that might be. 

I will concede that this news hit me very hard. When I told Carol when she arrived home, it hit her hard as well.  It sucked the air out of the room for a season.  I cannot honestly say that faith immediately arose.  It was more like a 2 x 4 blow to the chest.  As I sat there listening to the oncologist alone, there were times my body just shook.  (Am I being too transparent?  Perhaps so.)

However, we are “climbing back on top.”  With his permission, I prayed for our oncologist – on that difficult phone call – that God would supernaturally direct him to persons, studies, literature, hospitals, treatments, meds and locations that he had not known to this point – that God would truly lay out the step and the strategy.  This is our prayer, “Lord, we need your strategy.”

We are not in denial, but I do not believe Carol’s assignment on earth is done – at all!  We are joining our faith to yours as we declare supernatural insight to the doctors and miraculous life to Carol’s body.

Ironically, she is preaching all four weekend services at Skyline this weekend, for Mothers Day.  I would never have had her take on this role had we known what she would face.  But she is strong.  In fact, remarkably strong.  She is going for it!  It will be a wonderful and likely tender time.

One more thing: Carol never reads my posts, so I can tell you a secret that she will not know.  She has been working for many years towards ordination.  She had several classes to complete, and was despairing that, given her busy mothering and ministry schedule, she might never complete it.

When we got word of her present condition, I could see her great disappointment that she would never be ordained, and she articulated her grief. 

But our wonderful District Superintendent, Steve Babby, (Pacific Southwest District of the Wesleyan Church) made repeated contact with the Wesleyan Church International Center in Indianapolis and (how he did this I do not know), is arranging for her to be ordained pronto. 

I am literally crying as I type this.  This will mean so much to her.  She has wanted to complete this course of study, but had (just this week) given up hope of getting to accomplish this.  Steve Babby is going to surprise her and tell her this publicly, just before she preaches on Saturday night, and then he will make the same presentation in all weekend services.  I wanted you in on this amazing secret.  She does not know.  (And she won’t read this – so this is confidential – just between the 10,000 of us!)

Pressing forward!

---

Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 10 pm

posted on 05/06/2010

Frankly we don’t know much more.  Carol had her CT scan to see if there was cancerous activity in the lungs.  We do not expect this.  What we believe is happening is the increase of tumors in the abdominal area, that are under 4/10^th of an inch (1 centimeter;  NOTE: I mistakenly stated 1/5^th of an inch in previous posts) thus they are not visible in an MRI.

We are awaiting word from the oncologist re: the CT scan, and then see where we go from here.

Prayer highly valued & badly needed.

---

Saturday, May 1, 2010, 1pm

posted on 05/01/2010

We received word last night that Carol’s CA-125 markers have risen in the 15 days since the last testing, from 21.8 to 29.2.  If you read the previous post (Wed, April 28^th), you know that we were looking for clarification regarding the fact that her cancer markers are indicating tumorous activity, yet the MRI came back showing no tumors.  We outlined four possible explanations in the previous post.

Now we can rule out option #1, which said that the CA-125 markers were in error.  The CA-125 indicators are not an anomaly.

And we can rule out #4, which indicated that she might have been miraculously healed after the CA-125 markers, but before the MRI.  She has not been healed – YET!

Thus that leaves #2, which stated that the MRI did not cover some area – such as the lungs – where tumorous activity might be happening, thus that is why the MRI failed to show activity.  Therefore she will have a CT scan of the lungs.  The oncologist does not believe we will find cancer there as primary peritoneal cancer does not usually function that way.

That leaves #3, which is that the nature of primary peritoneal cancer lots of very small tumors, that is, so small that it is compared [as we have explained before] to “sand thrown on a hardwood floor.”

The doctor explained one more thing in the phone call last night.  When Carol had a recurrence one year ago, they chose surgery first, then chemotherapy followed.  We assumed the same thing would occur.

However, the oncologist explained that this time they would not likely have surgery at all.  The reason: When the cancer recurred last time, there was one identifiable tumor (by MRI), and the cancer markers were only at 11.

This time, the MRI is not picking up any tumors, yet the cancer markers are rapidly accelerating.  This means that there could be large numbers of tumors.

And then he said (as best I can quote him), “the reason that we did the surgery last time is because primary peritoneal cancer does not come back that way (just one tumor), thus we thought we might be observing a cure.”  (Note: I am writing transparently from my heart now.)  My heart sank.

What he was saying is, in effect, is that one year ago the cancer was responding so unusually (only one tumor noted) for this type of cancer, that we might have beat it – thus he used the word “cure” – a word RARELY used in cancer conversations anymore.  But now that it has come back the way primary peritoneal normally recurs (many tumors),  we don’t have a “cure,” but rather we just try hard to battle it on out.

Don’t get me wrong.  Our doctor is a fighter.  He is not a fatalist.  That is why we respect him.

And we are fighters.  We are not fatalists.  We are pressing forward – to win.

But this was – in all candor – very tough news.  Not tough news for the “now.”  But tough for the future.  In other words, we are still in need of a miracle.

Carol’s cancer recurrence with just one tumor a year ago was indication that she was, as I like to say, “in the miracle zone.”  We need to see her back in that “zone.”

Do not misunderstand my choice of words.  We are not giving up – at all.  We are not discouraged.  But we are very disappointed.  Very.

If our faith “sounds” weak, it is not.  If it is weak, then that is what is so wonderful about the body of Christ:  we rely on yours.

---

Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 10pm

posted on 04/28/2010

Warning: this is long.  I chose to make this the “informative” email.

Over the years I have observed pastors handle difficult news regarding themselves or their family members.  Some were too private.  Some revealed too much.  I am trying to walk a delicate balance.  But if I am to error, I chose to error by being too transparent, in hopes that my vulnerability will help someone else.

Today’s email will have four parts to it:

1. Brief overview:  For those who don’t have time to read the rest
2. The three (actually four) options:  I like the fourth one
3. Defining remission & recurrence:  There might be some good news here
4. Early detection & treatment:  What Europe has taught us about cancer

(And then, in a day or two, I will give another view of what has been happening.  It will be an emotional view of what Carol & I have experienced over the last 10 days.  This one is far more personal, tender and emotive.  But today’s email is cognitive and factual.)

1. BRIEF OVERVIEW

Carol had her MRI yesterday and met with Oncologist Andrew Hampshire – who is awesome – late today.

For those of you who like to have things succinct and right up front, Carol’s MRI was “inconclusive.”  However, that is actually somewhat good news.  There are three – or four – possible explanations (listed below) for the “inconclusive” nature of her report.

Bottom line: she will have to have more tests in the weeks ahead.  But we really do view today’s report as much better news than we might have encountered.

2. THE THREE (ACTUALLY FOUR) OPTIONS

Now for those of you who like the full story, and who appreciate learning all you can about cancer, I will explain much more.

How are we to understand the fact that the CA-125 markers show cancer, but the MRI does not?

1. There is a 10% chance (according to the doctor) that the CA-125 marker reading might be flawed, so she had new blood work done today.  However, a misreading rarely occurs.
2. There is a 10% chance (according to the doctor) that the MRI scan covered the wrong part of the body.  It covered the peritoneal area, or abdominal cavity, where this type of cancer was originally diagnosed and where it usually recurs. Also covered in the MRI reading was the liver, spleen and the pelvic area.  In addition, Carol has had a brain scan recently and there is no cancerous activity there as well.  However, there is a small chance that the cancer activity might be in the lungs, thus Carol will have a CT-Scan of the lungs.  It is highly unlikely that the cancer is in her lungs.
3. There is an 80% chance (according to the doctor) that the CA-125 marker readings are correct, but the cancer is under 1 centimeter (1/5^th of an inch) in size thus it is undetectable by MRI.   Remember, Primary Peritoneal Cancer is compared to “sand being thrown on a hardwood floor,” that is, there are many tiny ones.
4. Carol was quick to point out that there is a fourth option: Perhaps she did have cancer when the blood work (CA-125 markers) was done, but due to extensive prayer since the blood work, she has been healed.  Thus the MRI showed nothing.  (For the record, I vote for this one!)

Allow me to provide a summary of the above:

• POSITIVE: The MRI report could have shown extensive tumorous activity, which would have been very disappointing.  But it did not.
• POSITIVE: “Inconclusive” means that whereas the CA-125 markers show cancer activity, such activity is undetectable at this point.
• NEGATIVE: However. Primary Peritoneal Cancer tends to be very small, with many undetectable (under 1 centimeter) tumors.

3. DEFINING REMISSION AND RECURRENCE

We learn much more about this disease every time we go to the oncologist.  In fact, we discovered that we hold the record of asking the most questions of any patient (almost an hour and a half today).  However, we were encouraged when the doctor said that we hold the honor of asking the most GOOD questions!

One of the things we learned today pertains to the definition of “remission” and “recurrence.”  There are various ways to define these terms.  And the definitions I am about to give are encouraging in our situation.

I have defined “remission” as the time between the last chemo treatment and the first indication of cancer activity.  In Carol’s case, the chemo ended Aug 20, 2009, and the CA-125 markers spiked April 19, 2010, which would mean a remission period of eight months.  (I mistakenly said seven months in a previous post.)  However, her remission period technically began when the last “visible or detected” cancer was removed – by surgery – March 30.   Why is this significant?  It is VERY significant.  This lengthens out the remission from eight months to nearly 13 months.

You may be wondering why we are stressing over “eight months” vs. “13 months.”  The answer is found in the fact that when one experiences remission over 12 months, the carboplatin (chemo) is considered to be effective.  If one’s remission slips to six months or less, then a person is considered “platin insensitive.”  (The six to 12 months is considered in the “gray zone.”)

“Platin insensitive” is a nice way of saying that the chemo of choice (carboplatin) cannot be used as it is no longer effective.  If one slips to a remission time of only six months, then no chemotherapy will be done, as the treatments (which reduce quality of life) are nearly equal to the extension of remission.  Thus treatment options have come to an end, and the cancer is allowed to take its course.

Bottom line:  since Carol’s remission starting point can be moved back to the date of surgery – March 30, 2009 – that means that she was in remission a sufficient length of time to avoid having the label of being “platin insensitive,” a significant factor for any cancer fighter.  This is not merely “playing with the numbers.”   This is real.

There is one more factor in calculating Carol’s remission.  We have already moved the starting date to March 30, 2009 as stated above.  But what about the ending date for this season of remission (and beginning of recurrence)?  Surprisingly, that is “up for grabs” too.

One would assume that the technical date for the end of remission and beginning of recurrence was April 19, 2010, the date we were informed of Carol’s spiked CA-125 markers.  That is what we assumed, as we were informed that “tumorous activity” had returned.  Well, it is a bit more complicated than that.

Technically “recurrence” can refer to the first “detectable” or “visible” tumors.  In other words, the CA-125 markers spiking may not necessarily define “recurrence” because you cannot “see” the tumors.  And even microscopic tumors (which Carol might have, based on the cancer markers) may not define recurrence since they cannot yet be detected.  One has to validate cancer by it being seen on MRI, PET scan, CT scan or by the human eye.  By this definition, Carol could still be labeled – at least, as of today – “in remission.”

This is not just “fudging numbers,” I assure you.  It is attempting to have some consistent measurement as to what is occurring.

If the doctor’s hunch is correct (and thus, Carol’s condition is best described by #3 above), then she is, in a sense, coming out of remission, and about to enter into a recurrence (barring a miracle).  The tests over the next month or two will tell us.

Therefore, Carol’s remission could be called 13 months (not seven months as stated), and this is extremely significant.  And if we really want to “push it on out” and claim that she is in remission until tumors are truly visually detectable (by MRI, etc.), then her remission is “13 months and still counting!”

I suspect to the persons or families unaffected by cancer, this sounds like a mind game.  But to the persons or families affected by cancer, this is NOT a game.  It is accurate assessing and reporting.  Bottom line: we are encouraged.

5. EARLY DETECTION AND TREATMENT

One naturally assumes that early detection and treatment is the only way. Well, not necessarily, at least not with ovarian cancer or its sister disease primary peritoneal cancer.

The standard scenario for recurring cancer is as follows:

• Detection, initial diagnosis
• Strategy of treatment of surgery, chemo and/or radiation
• Treatment begins
• Chemo or various treatments end
• Remission begins
• Recurrence
• Strategy determined
• Treatment begins
• Treatment ends
• Remission

In the above cycles, it is assumed that early detection and immediate treatment is important.  However, scientists wanted to see if delayed treatment (of ovarian cancer in particular)  truly was less effective.  However the test could not be done in America because once American women knew they had ovarian cancer, they wanted to have immediate treatment.  There was no group that would delay treatment.

Due to the nature of European medicine, the study could be done there.  Therefore, when women with ovarian cancer (or primary peritoneal cancer) first discovered spiked CA-125 markers, many waited three or four months to begin chemo.

One would expect that the delay caused a lower survivability rate.  It did not. There was no substantive difference between those who began chemo immediately and those who delayed three or four months.

The result is that the ladies who delayed cancer treatment had a better quality of life (due the three or four months without chemo) than those who had treatment.  When you observed this over multiple years, it became obvious that the women who “bought” an extra few months without chemo were (over a long period) having much less toxic chemotherapy.

The conclusion is obvious (at least as it pertains to Carol’s type of cancer).  When (this type of cancer) is immediately detected, treatment may not always have to begin immediately.  Admittedly, it is hard to wait once you know there are cancer cells within one.  But the study certainly provides some options.  It allows cancer patients and their families more planning time in beginning treatment.

Well, that is much more than you asked for.  And I suspect that only 1% of you made it all the way to the end.  So if you read all the way to this sentence, I owe you a chocolate malt at Dairy Queen.  Oops!  Bad nutrition!  I owe you a bag of carrots?  Or celery?

Thank you for caring!

Jim Garlow

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 8 am

posted on 04/21/2010

Greetings,

Regretfully, I need to alert you to something. On Monday afternoon we found out that Carol’s cancer (CA-125) markers spiked – lots. She had a recurrence one year ago when her cancer markers reached an “11.” For many people, anything under 30 is good; but not in Carol’s case. Her “threshold” is apparently much lower.

Her markers in recent testings (two months apart) have been very good: 4.9, then 6.5, and then 8.5. However, on Monday we learned that they have suddenly spiked to 21.8. This indicates “tumorous activity.” We are told it will likely now increase logarithmically.

As a reminder, Carol’s cancer history is as follows:

June 2007 – Diagnosis #1: Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma at stage 3C, followed with extensive resection (surgery), due to over 100 tumors in abdominal area ranging from extremely small up to the size of an orange

• June – Nov 2007 – very difficult time; extremely sick (severe nausea for 7 weeks of that time); back to hospital or ER four times; many complications

Aug – Dec 2007 – chemo round #1

Sept, Oct, Nov 2007 – 2 weeks, then one week, then one more week at Oasis of Hope Hospital in Tijuana (Mexico)

Late December 2007 – in remission #1 – for 14 months

• Jan – May 2008 – gaining strength

• May 2008 – March 2009 – somewhat returned to normal; very good 10 month period

March 2009 – Recurrence #1, followed with surgery

April – July 2009 – chemo round #2

July 2009 – March 2010 – normal period, except never regained strength

July 2009 – April 2010 – in remission #2 – 7 months

April 2010 – Recurrence #2

Carol will have an MRI on Tuesday, April 27 to determine the amount of tumorous activity. Her most recent MRI was “clean.” However, only tumors larger than one centimeter (one fifth of an inch) show up on an MRI. This is challenging since the nature of Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma is described as “throwing sand on a hardwood floor,” that is, the tumors are many but very small. On Wednesday, April 28, Carol will see the oncologist.

The chemotherapy protocol (Carboplatin, etc. – see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carboplatin) has apparently not been working. She is now what is called “platin insensitive,” meaning that the chemotherapy of choice is not effective. The very short duration of remission it offers does not offset the tremendously negative impact and side effects to the body.

Our emotions? We are, as you would expect, stunned and very disappointed. There is much hugging at the Garlow household. There are some tears. The family gathers frequently. There are some times of sitting and silence.

However, we (like you) are fighters. We are now in the process of “getting up for the game.” We refuse to have our lives defined by cancer. We are, in a phrase, pressing forward.

We will know much more by next Wednesday. We will keep you informed. Thank you for caring.

Needing you. Needing your prayers. Thankful for you. Very grateful for you. And your prayers.

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Monday, Feb 22, 2010, 5 pm

posted on 02/22/2010

Great news!  The MRI report came back with no indications of tumors!  The oncologist read the report, describing each organ of the body, based upon the radiologist’s transcription, it was “unremarkable.’ In fact, the word “unremarkable” appeared several times in the report.  That is what you WANT your radiologist report to say! 
 
Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am married to a remarkable woman!  But I am just fine with the MRI report telling me she is “unremarkable.”  For that, we praise God!
 
Thank you for praying for my remarkable / unremarkable wife!
 
Signed,
Her (unremarkable) husband!

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Monday, Jan 18, 2010, 5 pm

posted on 01/18/2010

Well, it has been months since I have written about Carol’s condition.
 
Bottom line: she is doing great.  We just received a report of her new CA-125 markers.  They are 6.5.  This is superb.  Last time it was 4.9.  Anything under 30 is considered good.  However, we watch Carol’s markers extra close due to the fact that she only got to an “11” when the cancer recurred last time.
 
She will have an MRI in mid February and will know results by Feb 22.  That is another critical hurdle. 
 
The major challenge:  her body requires massive amounts of rest.  She seems to be able to function close to normal for two days, but then sleeps nearly the entire day on the third day.  Today is an example.  She slept till noon today, was up for approximately one hour, then went back to bed and is currently still sound asleep at 5 pm.
 
This is the only disappointing aspect of her recovery process.  We have simply had to adjust to “the new normal.”  Candidly, I no right to complain, as I am so glad she is alive and doing so well – considering all she went through.  I was hoping, however, that she would have much more strength. 
 
The oncologist is running tests, but he is convinced that this needed sleep is caused by the interplay, the reaction of three of the medicines she is currently using.
 
Other than the limited physical strength, she really is doing very well.  Her original diagnosis was June 20, 2007.  The five year mark – that she must break through – is June 20, 2012.  Thus on Jan 20, 2010, she will have made it through 31 of the 60 months of a five year walk – with only 29 months to go.  31 DOWN;  29 TO GO!  Thus she has cross the halfway point.  We are aiming for the finish line!
 
Thank you for ongoing prayers.  We SO VERY MUCH appreciate you and your prayers.

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Thursday, Nov 12, 2009, 4 pm

posted on 11/12/2009

Well, I have not done a good job communicating, have I? 

But the news continues to be good.  In addition to a great MRI report (next one is in February), we received word that Carol’s CA-125 markers are 4.9.  For most people, being under 30 is good.  For some reason, Carol’s numbers run a little lower.  For her, 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 is very good.  A slight raise to 11 was a warning last time.  Thus we are elated with a 4.9. 

Bottom line: all reports are good!  Thank you for your prayers.

Many of you who check on this blog are from other states, but some are local.  When you see Carol with a bandage on her hand and wrist, it is because she had minor surgery (totally unrelated to cancer) today on her thumb.  She had lost usage of her thumb on her right hand, thus they cut into the tendon sheath today.  She will need to be careful for the next few days.

Her regular meds make her quite sleepy much of the time.  She still – although it has been several months since she received her 12th and last chemo – needs a great amount of rest, including a lengthy nap or multiple naps a day.  The meds she is on make her quite drowsy a lot of the time, including during sermons at church!  (With the preaching being so exciting, how is this even possible!)   

You laugh, but – as her husband, and as a preacher – it is not very funny to me.  I am not the least bit bothered that she sleeps during my sermon.  I am concerned however when I see her head going down…down…down…knowing that people behind her are afraid she will fall over.  (That has not happened.  Yet!) 

Now, add to her ongoing meds the fact that they gave her a partial anesthesia today, plus they have started her on pain medication (the drowsy type), I suspect she’ll be asleep for the next week?!?!?!  Other than that, she is doing great.

Jake is deep into wrestling.  Josie and Jake attend the same culinary arts class at Valhalla High School at the end of each day.  Jake loves it, and feels he wants to go into culinary arts, so we are exploring options there.

For those of you that are out of state, Skyline Church is on the verge of a new Worship Center. Check out http://www.skylinechurch.org/timetobuild/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/NowBrochure1Small.pdf
This is so very exciting.  We have waited a long time for this building.  (Due to massive building complications, followed by horrific litigation challenges, Skyline has not build a worship center for 35 years!)  Our new auditorium is now just “around the corner!”  We hope to break ground in or before May 2010.  I am having more fun pastoring than I ever have!  The people of Skyline have REALLY stepped up, taken ownership of lifting the load for this new building – even in a “very down” economy!  I so respect the people I serve here!

I have spoken at pastors conferences in Dallas, Washington State and Illinois, and will be at a pastors event in DC next week (www.religiousfreespeechrally.com). Also thrilling to me is the fact that The Garlow Perspective one minute commentary is now on 827 radio outlets daily.  If you want to receive an eNewsletter about what is happening with regards to that, and about some authoring / writing I am doing now, just let us know (tburger@skylinechurch.org) and we will include you on the email list.

In addition, I have continued doing interviews, most recently on DayStar Television Network in Dallas-Ft. Worth, and on a local news broadcast on a television station in San Diego – KUSI – regarding our involvement in the vote to save marriage in Maine.  See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znkecvIm1FI.

It was a joy to see SO MANY OF YOU in Oklahoma!  Thank you so very much for praying for Carol.  When Carol and I were at the 100th Anniversary Homecoming of Oklahoma Wesleyan University (Bartlesville – north of Tulsa) Oct 9-10 and then at the 100th Anniversary of Bethany First Church of the Nazarene (Bethany – in the greater Oklahoma City area) Oct 24-25, we were overwhelmed with your compassion for Carol and what you shared with us regarding your commitment to pray for her during these past two years.  I truly believe that she is alive today because of the prayers of God’s people.  I am not undervaluing the medical treatments, but I believe their efficacy is tied to your prayers. I am so, so grateful! 

Being at those two Oklahoma events felt quite literally like a “touch of heaven on earth!”  It meant more to Carol and me than we could put into words.  We left overwhelmed, thanking the Lord for “the family of God!” 

Sure love you all!
Jim

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Monday, Nov 2, 2009, 10pm

posted on 11/03/2009

Carol’s MRI was today. Report: Everything is normal!

Praise God!

More details to follow – but wanted you to know this great news!

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Thursday, Sept 3, 2009, 2 pm

posted on 09/03/2009

We have been enjoying this sabbatical.  The beach condo has been great.

An update re: Carol.  A friend graciously provided two professional pilots and a prop-jet and flew Carol and me to Redding, CA to the Healing Rooms at Bethel Church.  We have wanted to go for some time, but were so grateful that he made it happen quickly. 

We left the ground at 7 am this past Saturday.  We were in Redding at 9 am, and at the “Encounter Room” first, then to the “Upper Room” for prayer.  We flew out at noon.  We touched down at 2 pm.

The person praying over Carol began with the words (referring to the cancer) “overthrown!”  After praying for cancer to be forever gone, she began to focus on other health concerns of Carol.

The assigned intercessor – as she works for a neurologist – fully grasped another area Carol needed prayer: her back & disc (unrelated to the cancer).

I will let Carol write up her thoughts and feelings of the day, but it was a special moment for us.

We came to our East County house from the beach condo for one day, but are going back to the beach. 

Carol is loving getting into the waves!  She cannot get enough.  She and Josie prefer boogie boarding.  Jake is surfing, almost constantly.

I am using the time to jog & walk on the beach, and ride my bike on the boardwalk.

On Tuesday, I reached a goal.  I had been doing a walk (30%) / run (70%) combination.  But on Tuesday, I decided to see if I could run the entire 8 miles without any walking or stopping.  That is nothing for all you marathoners and half marathoners, but 8 miles is a lot for me.

I am not a runner.  I don’t have a runner’s body or runner’s knees either.  Running is – to me – hard.

But, I do know how to get my spirit to control my mind which, in turn, controls my body.  (For the record, that is biblical, NOT new age. : ) )  So Tuesday was the day.

The last time I have run 8 miles was in Oklahoma City in 1982.  It was a beautiful fall Saturday morning.  All the other runners were the types that run in races every Saturday.  But I decided to try.  I came in last!  But I finished, and that was my goal.

So it was a thrill – after 27 years – to do it again.  Who knows, I may go out and run it again today.

We are savoring the time at the beach, thanking God for His creation.  And we are feeling “life restored” during this sabbatical.  So grateful for this season. 

And – thank you for praying for Carol!  We are so grateful.

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Thursday, Aug 20, 2009, 8:30 pm

posted on 08/21/2009

Big News.  Not only did Carol finish her chemo today…but we heard that word from the doctor that we thought we would have to wait to hear: REMISSION!  Yes!  REMISSION!  YES!   And we just moved into our beach condo (See http://www.vrbo.com/134780).  So this is gonna’ be a great time of celebration!  (We know that she has to STAY in remission, but we are celebrating this milestone now!) Praise God. Thanks for praying!

YES!!!

A happy Jim

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Sunday, Aug 16, 2009, 11 pm

posted on 08/18/2009

Carol continues to handle the chemo very well.  Her last (6^th) chemo will be Thurs, Aug 20.  We still hope to hear the words ‘in remission” before Oct. 1.

We hope to spend some time at the beach condo.  It is almost always rented out, but we plan to spend some time there now.  We are so eager to get there.  To us, it is a touch of heaven.

When you get a moment, go to http://www.okwu.edu/assets/pdfs/Summer09Tower_lowres.pdf then scroll down to the bottom of page 19.  Great article about Carol from last March.  Just found it.

Shifting topics:  I have been on sabbatical.

What does a pastor do when he has time off?  Well for one thing, I went and preached for my son-in-law, Jeremy McGarity, at “Seven Church-San Diego” this morning.  Was great being with our kids and their wonderful church family.

As most of you know, most of my sabbatical I have been sorting, throwing away, culling, organizing, etc. 

I have taken on one project after another, all of them long overdue.  I have successfully tackled many.  But I have many yet to do. 

My study is considerably cleaner.  Eighteen file drawers have been culled & properly organized.  The garage has been cleaned, cleared out.

Tens of thousands of photographs have been organized.  The attic has now been cleaned out. 

Next I will begin transferring many old VHS tapes to hard drives.  There is much to be done.  My office at the church needs attention badly.  My library at the church needs to be organized.  Eight file cabinets at the church need culling.  But making huge progress. 

I am operating on the thesis that “part of the keys to achieving inner peace is to finish all the things one has started, yet never finished.”  Thus, working accordingly. 

I know all the above does not sound like much fun.  And it is not.  But don’t feel sorry for me.  Why?  Because our thoughts are shifting towards the beach.  See you on the sand!

And – SUPER thank you for continuing to pray for Carol.

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Monday, Aug 10, 2009, 4 pm

posted on 08/10/2009

Tomorrow – Tuesday, Aug 11 – is Carol’s XX^th birthday.  Feel free to send a greeting to cgarlow@skylinechurch.org.

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Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009, 10 pm

posted on 08/05/2009

Carol has to take anti-nausea meds so the chemo won’t make her sick.  The good news: it works.  The bad news: it puts her to sleep. 

Thus she takes many naps a day.  She falls asleep on a moment’s notice. 

We laughed hard yesterday because she fell asleep WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE to our daughter Janie.  Right during the phone conversation!  She woke up and realized she had been on the phone and promptly recovered by saying, “Janie, what did you say?”  

She falls asleep every time we get in the car to drive somewhere. 

She gets up in the morning, then takes a nap.  After that, she takes a nap.  Then – as you have guessed – when that nap is over, she takes another one. 

We were visiting a church last Sunday, as I am “off” during a sabbatical.  I looked over at her during the sermon and she was sound asleep.  She looked so comfortable, I did not disturb her.  She woke up in time for the benediction.

I told her as we were driving out of the parking lot, “you slept through the pastor’s sermon.”  Without bating an eye, she looked back at me and said, “Which is exactly what I do every week through yours.”  I thought I was supposed to laugh at the joke.  It was then that I found out that it was not a joke.  My poor wounded preacher-ego!

But the incessant nap-taking is a small price to pay in order not to be sick during the chemo.  We are still praising God that the 2009 chemo experience is nothing compared to the horrors of the 2007 chemo experience, complete with many trips to the hospital, the emergency rooms, non-stop vomiting, and indescribable discomfort.  The 2009 journey has been SO MUCH better.  We are so grateful.

Since I use this column as a “family update,” here are a few other notes.

Jacob has been surfing the last few days with his buddy, experiencing some independency, driving back and forth to La Jolla on his own.

Josie, also driving lots now, wants a job, as does Jake.  Both are out of summer school.

My body is finally adjusting to the rigors of Skyline’s Boot Camp.  The first month was SO tough.  My body was screaming back at me.  Yesterday was the first day (beginning of month two) that I could come home and do normal things.  Today was the first day that I was not consumed with dread in going to Boot Camp.  So I am making progress.

My brother and his family are profoundly deep in grief over the loss of their 21 year old son.  I wish I could report it has gotten easier.  It has not.  At least, as of yet.  We pray for them, and talk to them almost daily.

My “sabbatical” is continuing, as I get things organized that have not been properly in place for the last few years.  Lots of sorting!  So badly needed.  Not exciting, I admit.  But, does it feel good to get it done! 

And my family is shocked.  They are seeing me sit and relax.  Apparently – according to their comments – that is something they have not seen.  Sunday night at my mother’s, all of us, just sitting and talking.  Last night late, around the pool, with Janie’s family and Josh’s family.  Fun.  Great times.  Thankful for family.

I am continuing to do radio interviews on my book Heaven and the Afterlife.  On national shows, I am getting some interesting questions from callers.  Neat ministry. 

Bottom line: we are doing good & praising God.  Thank you so much for agreeing with us for Carol’s long term miracle!

---

Thursday, July 30, 2009, 9 pm

posted on 07/30/2009

Carol made it through round #5 of chemo today. She was not dreading going today because the Infusion Center chairs face an all glass wall. Thirty feet beyond that wall and up four floors is a glassed-in hallway where the preemie babies are kept, specifically our new grandson that was born July 19. In other words, if Tyson was simply taken out in the hallway, Grandma could see her new grandson, right from her infusion chair.

Carol had a reaction to the chemo that we discovered is normal for persons that have had Carboplatin 10 times. This chemo treatment was her 11th time: Six in 2007 and now five in 2009.

They were in hopes of keeping her from experiencing the uncomfortable itchiness (strangely enough, especially the palms of her hands). To prevent the reaction they gave her Benadryl intravenously. That however made her VERY drowsy.

Due to the reaction, they took longer giving the Gemsar, which followed the Carboplatin. Thus we left later than originally scheduled.

When they finally released her, guess who was being released at that exact moment in the building 30 ft away? You guessed it. Our new 5 lb grandson Tyson.

Thus proud Grandma (and Grandpa too) left the hospital with Tyson & Mommy Lacy & Daddy Joshua. A great moment.

Important observation: There is no Garlow in the hospital in San Diego at the moment! Yes! We plan to keep it that way!

I am on sabbatical, trying to get life organized, although there have been some significant “interruptions” of sort. In the midst of this, I am doing radio interviews almost daily regarding my newly released book Heaven and the Afterlife. But overall, I am trying to “slow down” for a while.

Part of my slowing down, however, does not include some physical reality. I have regretfully gotten out of shape. So I signed up for Skyline Church’s rigorous Boot Camp which meets 6 – 7 pm every Monday through Thursday.

Wow, is it hard! Good, but hard. Awesome, but hard. We finished the one month mark tonight. Last night we did the timed mile run. I have improved a lot, but I was way out of shape…and have a long way to go. My muscles have been screaming at me every day for a month.

Most of the people in the class are ½ my age. Why are there not others my age in Boot Camp? Because they are smart! : )

Two nights ago we were going to drive to the hospital to see Tyson. I said, “Carol, I cannot drive. My muscles are way too sore!” She drove. How sad is that. Carol is doing better on chemo than I am with Boot Camp. What a wimp I am!?!? Yes? No?

Okay (you who are reading this), come join me! Monday, August 3, 6 pm – Skyline’s Athletic Field. See you! (Now who is smiling?) : )

Seriously, thank you so much for continuing to pray for the miracle that we need over the next four years for Carol. Blessings on you.

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Monday, July 27, 2009, 6 pm

posted on 07/28/2009

Greetings!

Carol is doing great.  She is having an MRI right now.  We are expecting good results.  She needs to rest a great deal.  But other than that, she is really doing well.  Next chemo: July 30.

We really enjoyed hearing Chicago in concert – at Humphries by the bay – Sunday night.  Rather than purchase pricey seats, we watched / listened from the comfort of Bruce Smith’s boat.  All the boats jammed into the bay to hear the concert – all next to each other – all tied to each other.  Sandwiches & snacks on board.  Perfect weather.  Chicago did all the 1970’s hits, except my favorite, “I’ve Been Searchin’ So Long.”  Closed with the classic “25 or 6 to 4.”  Awesome evening. 

Baby Tyson Jacob Garlow is still in the hospital.  He is doing great, but may be in there for awhile.  Lacy (mommy) is doing awesome.  We are very excited to see him come home.

As one more way of both honoring and saying goodbye to my 21 year old nephew, Christopher Garlow, I have accumulated many links regarding his life.  For those of you that have the time, the ones that might be most interesting is No. 7 and No. 8 below.  No. 6 is a video broken up into many parts. 

Links on Christopher Garlow’s Life and Funeral:

“No person is dead, so long as you keep saying their name and keep telling their stories.” 

1. TV News story:  http://www.ksn.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=793@ksnw.web.entriq.net&navCatId=17

2. Salina (KS) Journal top headline news story:  http://www.saljournal.com/rdnews/story/garlow-7-17-09

3. Christopher Garlow singing “Lean on Me” at Kansas Boys State-Summer 2007, played at funeral:  http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=117308097400&h=bSI1d&u=JDl8p&ref=mf

4. Slide show of Christopher Garlow’s life, played at funeral (a choice of two sites):  http://fccsalina.com/Ministries/GriefShare/InMemory.aspx

or http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3084454/chris_garlows_story/

(NOTE: Metacafe commercials may appear first.  We have no control over those.)

5. Christopher Garlow obituary:  http://www.saljournal.com/obituaries/story/garlow072009

6. Funeral service – 1^st Covenant Church, Salina, KS – video.

NOTE: The video host required the service to be divided into 16 segments, 10 minutes each.  The first 5 ½ segments are prelude music, thus you might want to skip them.  The service begins at the 6 minute mark in segment 5.  When you click on this one, it takes you directly to section 6, about three minutes into the service.  On the right hand side, you will see the other segments listed:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mFC0lp-sTU&feature=related

7.  Funeral service – 1^st Covenant Church, Salina, KS, still photos, approximately 200 photos:  http://gallery.me.com/joshgarlow#100237

8. Photos of burial at Walnut Grove Cemetery, near Ames, KS, approximately 150 photos, 1/8 mile from the farm of the late Burtis Garlow, grandfather of Christopher, by whom Chris is buried.

NOTE: Type in WalnutGrove as password.  The password is case sensitive, so note capital letters.  And note that there is no space between words:  http://www.heidirescophoto.com/pickpic/gallery/splash.php?gallery_id=58

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 11 pm

posted on 07/23/2009

So very much has happened recently.  Much of it I have covered in sketchy entries on Facebook.  Some of it has not been covered.  The following is written, probably more for my own therapy than for the need of anyone to read it.   

– —

Our life was profoundly affected by two opposite events – a death and a birth.  Death of a 21 year old nephew.  Birth of a grandson.

The key issue: Carol was able to handle extremely well the packing and flights to Kansas for the funeral.

I flew out to Kansas last Thursday, July 16.  My mother, sister and brother-in-law came Friday. Carol, Jake and Josie came on Saturday.  Josh, Janie, Jeremy and sons – Riley & Aidan – came on Sunday night.  The funeral was Monday.  We all flew home late Tuesday night, in fact, past midnight. 

Since the new grandson was born while we were away – 6 am Sunday morning – we did not get to see him till today, Wednesday, July 22.  Carol was elated to hold him today – for the first time – her 5th grandson!  No granddaughters!

Tyson Jacob Garlow was born 7 ½ weeks early, at 5 lbs, 5 oz, 18 inches.  Lacy, our daughter-in-law, was released from the hospital on Tuesday, July 21, after being there 15 days.  Tyson will likely be kept in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, usually shortened NICU (sometimes pronounced “Nickyou”) for a least another week, we think. 

I, as grandpa, held him today.  He is tiny.  But he is a handsome dude!  Lots of black hair.  Unlike other babies – who generally don’t look all that great – he is impressive looking.  (Bias talking!)    

I prayed over him as I held him.  I wondered what life would be like for him.  I thought about how all of us understood and viewed our “grandpas” and was shocked that I am one – again – for the 5^th time!

Bottom line:  we are elated with Josh & Lacy’s newest addition.  Big brothers Lukas and Jackson are thrilled. 

And Carol is doing VERY well.  She has an MRI this Monday.  Her next chemo is on July 30 followed by the 6^th and final one on Aug 20.

Now I shift topics – to one that is quite somber, the death of our nephew.

The following paragraphs were sent to our entire Skyline Church family.  WARNING: It contains a lot of “personal stuff,” so feel free to skip over sections as you desire.  It is, I admit, much more detail than you want, so do not feel pressured to read any more than the first couple paragraphs. 

The first few paragraphs contain the basic facts.  After that, I philosophize about life.  Death produces those types of thoughts. 

– —

THE DEATH OF CHRISTOPHER GARLOW, AGE 21

One week ago, on Thursday, July 16 at 8 am, we received news that my 21 year old nephew, Christopher Garlow, had died in a fire in his car, a 2002 BMW.  This jolted us strongly, as our family is extremely close to my brother Bill’s family. 

My brother is a MD (radiology) in the town of Salina, KS, a community of approximately 50,000 in the north central portion of Kansas.  Due to the fact that five of his six children are profound athletes (one is Down’s Syndrome), and thus have high visibility, it was the lead TV news story that night: http://www.ksn.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=793@ksnw.web.entriq.net&navCatId=17

In fact, in the Salina Journal newspaper, it was the top headline story on the front page, above the story of Walter Cronkite’s passing:  http://www.saljournal.com/rdnews/story/garlow-7-17-09

Pray for Bill & Laurie and their five surviving children.  This is brutally hard on them.  They are not strangers to death.  Laurie, while growing up, saw her family reduced from five children to three when Wally died of a motorcycle accident at 15, and Ryan was killed in a terrible farm accident when he was six (I officiated that funeral in North Dakota, one of the most painful I have ever conducted).

Bill, likewise, grew up in a home that was reduced from five children to three, as Janie never reached her first birthday, and Bob, his twin, died in a plane crash at age 19.   

OBITUARY

Here is the obituary of Christopher Garlow:  http://www.saljournal.com/obituaries/story/garlow072009,  which was read at the funeral service by my daughter Janie and her husband, Jeremy McGarity.

Christopher is the fourth in order of the six children.  He is named after the Christopher Garlow of the late 1700’s, the first Garlow to come to America.

THE FUNERAL

Nearly 1,000 persons attended the funeral, the largest – we were told – in that city.  Many of the attenders were high school age, college/university age.  Almost all of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity of Kansas State University in Manhattan, KS – where Chris was a senior, and also the city in which he died – attended, along with many students from Colorado Christian University (Denver) where Chris attended his freshman year.  In addition, many came from “Boy’s State,” an elite student leadership movement in which Chris had participated many years.  And several hundreds came from Chris’s soccer, football, tennis and golf teams, along with other athletes.

The music was performed by Josh Garlow (who left San Diego to catch a flight only a few hours after the 6 am Sunday morning birth of his third son, Tyson Jacob Garlow) – assisted by Skyline’s drummer (Donnie) and bass player (Luis).  In addition to the worship music, Josh led in one of Christopher’s favorite Jeremy Camp songs. 

Due to the fact that Christopher’s sister, Megan, had read my book Heaven and the Afterlife, Chris and his brothers and sisters spent Sunday night, July 5, around a campfire at a lake talking about the book, about heaven, about death and dying, and what they wanted at their funerals.  One of Chris’s primary requests that night was for an African American Choir to sing at his funeral, which all presumed would not happen for many decades.  Little did he know that the event was only 11 days away.  Honoring Chris’s request, the St. John’s Missionary Baptist Gospel Choir presented a powerful musical rendition concerning heaven’s “robes and crowns.”

I had the privilege of preaching at the funeral.  As you might surmise, I preached about heaven, and what is meant by the harps, robes and crowns.  I talked about what we will do in heaven, and where it is located.  I was profoundly amazed at how much hunger there is to know about heaven – even among university and high school students.  The leader of Chris’s fraternity sought me out at the burial, telling me, “That is all we have been able to talk about, since the funeral service (3 hours earlier).  We have never heard this.  It was so good for us to hear this.” 

Here is the slide show of Christopher Garlow’s life that was shown at the funeral:  http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3084454/chris_garlows_story/

Chris enjoyed music and forensics as well.  You can view Christopher singing “Lean on Me” at Kansas Boys State in the summer of 2007.  This video was played at funeral: http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=117308097400&h=bSI1d&u=JDl8p&ref=mf

(NOTE: As noted in the beginning of this email, this email is mainly “human interest stories,” highly personal “stuff.”  Do not feel obligated to read further.  You have been warned – smile.)

Assisting me in the funeral was Doug McHenry, pastor of First Covenant Church, where my brother and family worship.  Doug – much younger than me – and I grew up in the same very small country Kansas church, which never had an attendance of more than 75 people.  As my mother’s maiden name is McHenry, Doug is my 3^rd cousin.  In fact, Christopher is buried only 10 feet from where Doug’s grandparents are buried.

WALUNUT GROVE CEMETERY

Christopher was laid to rest next to my father (Burtis Garlow), my sister (Janie Garlow) and my brother (Bob Garlow, Bill’s twin); only a few feet from where my grandparents (Joshua and Ruby Garlow) are buried.  In fact, there are four generations of Garlows buried there and six generations of McHenrys (remember, that is my mother’s maiden name).  (I bought my cemetery plot – next to my grandparents – when I was in high school.)

Walnut Grove Cemetery is sacred soil to us for more than the fact that this is where our family members and ancestors rest in peace.  It is where we grew up.  Our lives were spent within a couple miles of that holy ground.

THE FARM, THE SCHOOL & THE CHURCH

The northern fence of the cemetery is a common one with the pasture, formerly owned by my father (now owned by my cousin Don Garlow), where I used to raise and feed and herd cattle.  For those of you so inclined, they were white face Hereford steers – http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/262975/Hereford.  The cemetery is on a bluff, overlooking the Republican River Valley, with its rich farm land. 

The first thing one sees as you look down in the valley is our farmstead – the house, barns, machine sheds, grain bins and silo – where we were raised, approximately 300 yards from the cemetery – slightly beyond the old farm pond where I first learned to ice skate as a five year old, pushing a chair in front of me for support.  Then your eyes can see for miles to the north across dark rich green corn and soybean fields, farms that I worked the first two decades of my life, and have returned to hundreds of times since.

Across the dirt road from the cemetery is “Magaw’s Meadow” where we went sledding in the winter time, down the steep embankment, zipping at high speeds between the trees down in the base of the hill.  At times, the snow was so deep and drifted so deep that we could walk across the top of a four strand barbed wire fence on the snow!  Only 200 yards to the south, slightly up the hill from Walnut Grove, is the site of the former one room country Hillcrest School – since torn down – where I attended grades one through eight.  When all eight grades were added together, we sometimes had as many as 18 students – which we thought was a large school.  When I started first grade there, I WAS the first grade.  It was just me!

One mile south is the site of Morgan Chapel (Wesleyan Methodist, as it was then called) Church, now also torn down and gone.  This spiritually vivacious church produced 40 pastors.  I am number 36.  Doug McHenry is number 40.  The church lasted 99 years and 9 months.

No one knew that it was so close to a centennial or surely they would have kept it open for 3 more months so it could reach the 100 year mark.  On its final Sunday, there were only three in attendance – Maude Moberly, Alice Moberly – two never married sisters – and Clarence Lingo, a widower. 

Ironically, on that particular Sunday, I was preaching to 2,000 persons at Bethany First Church of the Nazarene some six hours drive to the south, in Oklahoma City, where I was a young associate pastor.  Had I known that Morgan Chapel was closing that day, I would have gladly foregone preaching to 2,000 for the privilege of preaching to three persons at my beloved Morgan Chapel.  Many of you know, I have a pew and the original pulpit – from where I first heard the Gospel – in my house. 

COMMUNITY LIFE

Go a mile or two further south and you come to Goernandt’s pond where – after someone would give the “community ring” on the “16 member party phone line” saying “the ice is thick enough at Gorenandt’s pond” – everyone would gather to go ice skating at night, with a big bonfire in the middle of the ice.  Another couple miles puts us at the “Twin Mounds” – very small hills on the Kansas prairie (though we thought they were huge!) – where we would gather to sled on a ¼ mile run, with as many as six of us on a single piece of sheet metal roofing that we (foolishly) used as a massive sled!

(Now you see why I warned you this was personal.  No pressure to read further!  However, if you continue, you will see why I have written this.)

APPLICATION TO YOUR LIFE

My reason for telling you this is not to drag you unwillingly down my personal memory lane.  What draws me back is not ultimately sites where buildings once stood, or to cornfields I once tilled, or to a house in which I once lived.

What draws me “back” is values.  Values that come from a deep Christ-centered commitment.  I have no interest in “taking you back” to a place you have never been.

But I have great interest in taking you back to values.  Biblical values.  Authentic family values. 

Our lives have become far too complicated.  Too complex.  Too eroded by current values.  Tarnished and “mud splattered” with junk!  Stuff we should never have to see or hear.

Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson and the likes have received too much attention.  Even the oldies – Elizabeth Taylor and Larry King, both married eight times each – get way too much of our focus.  Not even Barak Obama or Mark Sandford are front and center in our understanding of heroes.

The real heroes are not merely tucked in my past.  As you know, they are resident within yours as well.  If you have such values in your past – and many (most?) of you do – look back to these people.  Look back to these people who will never be written up in People Magazine or Us.  Look back to the people who lived out honest, integrous, sincere, sacrificial lives. 

They drive pickup trucks, go to work on time, pay bills, swap stories on the bleachers during small town Friday night football games, remain faithful to their spouses, know that viewing porn or smoking pot is wrong, understand that marriage is one man and one woman, and will never capture the interest of TMZ.com reporters.  They sing old hymns as well as new praise songs and believe the words of both.  They salute the flag, and don’t understand why the ACLU is so worried when their kids want to pray at school. 

They are the people of my past.  Yours too.  That is why the Walnut Grove Cemetery seemed so peaceful from 8:30 pm to 9:30 pm (it gets dark later there in July) that night, Friday, July 17, when we were picking out where Christopher would be buried the following Monday.  I stood there with family, with relatives, and with a guy that mowed the cemetery grass that I had not seen since we were in high school together. 

The only sound we could hear was the sound of the bobwhites, the meadow larks, the joyous screams of children playing on the old “tire swing” in the front yard of the farm house, where I grew up approximately 1/8 of a mile away, and the occasional roar of an old pick up truck going by with a faulty muffler. 

And there are sights and sounds like that in your mind.  From your past.  Perhaps not a farm.  Maybe it was the city.  But you have memories of persons with values that were better than the commonly expressed values of Sacramento or Washington or Berkley or The New York Times.

Maybe you cannot get “back” there.  But – thank God for the gifts of memory and imagination – you can get there “in your mind.”  Better yet, since values – biblical values – are involved, you can get there in your heart.

Life is short, whether you live to be only 21, like Christopher, or 91, like my friend Ponder who died last week.  Life is short.  So give it away to that which counts.

And that is what this story is ultimately about.  Ultimately it is not about my past.  It is how you are going to live your future.

Your friend and brother in this experiment called “life,”

Jim Garlow

---

July 14, 2009

posted on 07/14/2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 10 pm

Carol continues to do…well…fairly good.  Beginning Saturday evening (remember her 4th round of chemo was Thursday) she started feeling weak and nauseous.

The good news is that we were, however, able to hang out on the beach and our beach condo, Friday from 3 pm till 11 pm.  That was so good.  (The condo is rented out all the time.  That one night happened to be open, so we jumped on it.)

From Saturday on, she has been weak and occasionally slightly nauseous.  It tends to come and go.  Sometimes she seems almost normal.  An hour later, she is not feeling good.

But overall, she has been doing SO MUCH BETTER than the first “chemo season” back in 2007.  Thus we really praise God.

– –

Now an update on Lacy (our daughter-in-law):  She has been in the hospital over a week.  They got good news today that the baby is 33.5 weeks along, two weeks more than thought.  Secondly, the weight of the baby is believed to be 5 lbs at this time.  They are still trying to hold contractions to a minimum, but they still occur almost every evening – sometimes continuing through the night.

Josh was to have been in Maryland all week leading worship, playing keyboard & guitar at a camp there.  Needless to say, he had to ask to be released.  He sent them a video saying that the reason he could not come was because the King of Pop had died, and in his grief, could not even go out of the house!?!??!?!

– –

Josh and I are in Skyline Church’s Boot Camp.  Josh is slender, athletic, young, and (because he joined the Boot Camp months ago) very muscular.

I am in my 2nd week (or should I say “weak”) of Boot Camp.  In contrast to Josh, I am _____ and _______ and _______ and _______ (admit it, you have been filling in the blanks!) and SO BLASTED SORE!

– –

Jake is doing better in the anemia.  In fact MUCH better.  He went with me to Boot Camp last night.  As a result of how much he was able to do (he “smoked” me – like an F-18 compared to a locomotive!), he returned to wrestling practice tonight.  That is an important health step for him.

– –

I am on a “sabbatical” for a few weeks.  But this is not a “sit around” sabbatical, or a “read a book beside a lake” sabbatical.  Those are great.  But that is not what this one is – yet!

This is a “Finish It Sabbatical.”  What do I mean by that?  I have heard it said, “One of the keys to inner peace is to finish all the things you have started but have never finished.” So I am experiencing a “Finish It Sabbatical.”

Last week, I allowed 4 days to clean my study at home.  Done!  This week, I allowed 4 days to go through 18 file drawers – with 100’s (1,000’s?) of files.  I removed ALL the files from all file cabinets, threw many away, then re-arranged the rest in proper order, by placing them in piles all over the floor & and down a hallway, and finally placed them in their proper file drawer which was then slide back into the proper file cabinet.

Sounds boring?  Well, this is not a circus or the zoo or the beach.  But it sure is going to feel good to get things in proper order and hopefully to get rid of lots and lots of things.  Simplify, remember?

(There are 16 files drawers at church that I have to go through, but those can wait.)

The summer of 2007 was taken by cancer.  The summer of 2008 was taken by Prop 8. And even before that, I have lived life “too hard & too fast!”  In the process, things got out of order as we (too often) lived in “survival mode.” This summer we are still dealing with cancer, but not in a way that precludes us from somewhat normal living.

– –

Tomorrow, my book HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE hits the nation’s bookstores.  My co-author and I just learned that the pre-sales have made it the #1 seller for our publisher, Bethany House/The Baker Group.  In spite of the fact that I am on a sabbatical, I knew I would have to do interviews.  I was aware that the timing of this book’s “arrival” would land in the early days of the sabbatical.  But there was no way to avoid it.  So tomorrow the interviews begin.

Fortunately they are radio interviews, so I can do them from my home.  I turned down a TV interview for this morning.  For starters the interview pertained to giving comments on the hearings of Judge Sonia Sotomayor, not on my book.  Thus I had little interest – at least during a sabbatical.  But the TV interviews cost so much time in travel to/from studios.  I will be doing multiple radio interviews a days from home.

I don’t mind the interviews that are short (15-30 minutes).  I don’t care for the long ones (1 hour) unless they are nationwide.  I have one or maybe two of those tomorrow.  The one type of interview I do NOT like is when they open the phone lines for callers to ask questions.

The reason?  For some reason, it seems as if the types of persons who call in are the (how do I say this nicely) “strange ones!”  And I think it will be worse on a book on the afterlife.  Remember that in my book is a chapter on some wild topics: demons, ghosts, angels, heaven, hell, the judgment, reincarnation, purgatory, annihilationism, universalism and NDE’s, that is “Near Death Experiences”, people who “crossed over” and came back with images of the afterlife. So, you can imagine what kind of callers I may get.

– –

Well – too much information!  We are enjoying life!  Praising God for each day!  Thank you SO MUCH for praying for Carol…and for Lacy & baby!

---

Friday, July 10, 2009

posted on 07/10/2009

I am up late. Busy day. Busy week.

Due to the fact that the “poking” for veins was taking its toll, and the chemo was causing very large red splotched painful swelling in her arm, Carol had a “port” installed under the skin on her upper arm. This procedure was more consuming than we anticipated. We spent nearly eight hours in the hospital this past Monday for that procedure.

Then Carol had – with the use of the port – round 4 of six rounds of chemo on Thursday (July 9) – consuming much of the day. We were ready to leave the infusion center of Sharp Outpatient, when she began to have a reaction.

We have discovered that on the 10th time a person has carboplatin (part of Carol’s chemo recipe), it can cause an allergic reaction – a profound itching over the entire body. Ironically, it is often strongest in the palms of the hands.

Thus they kept Carol longer, as they called the doctor. To offset this, they gave her a strong medication to cause her to sleep through it. Predictably she became very groggy / sleepy the remainder of the day. She slept the afternoon and evening. (That accounts for why we are wide awake at 1:30 am – now!)

- – -

Two years ago, in Aug 2007, Carol experienced one of her worst days. Amazingly, my mother had surgery the same day, and they put her on the same floor as Carol, thus allowing me to run back and forth between the two – only a one minute walk from each other.

Well today was a bit of a repeat of that. Our daughter-in-law – Lacy Garlow – has been in the hospital for two days, now going on three. She is 9 weeks premature in delivering Josh & Lacy’s third child (a boy again), to be named Tyson.

They were told that the baby was going to come today, and that he would have to be in the hospital for weeks. But they were successful in medicating Lacy so the contractions finally stopped. Now they have informed Lacy that she is going to have to stay in the hospital until the baby is born, maybe a month or more. She was quite discouraged, as she is missing her boys at home – Lukas and Jackson.

Josh has been living at the hospital, but is now changing his focus to being primarily with the boys, at home. They are juggling and handling it well.

Lacy is in the hospital only 40+ feet from the building housing the chemo infusion center. In fact, from Carol’s position, she is looking out the entire glass wall towards the hospital. The corresponding wall of Lacy’s hospital is also primarily glass, so we almost had it arranged so Lacy and Carol would be able to see each other (but not quite). In summary, it made it easy for Josh and me to go back and forth between the two all day Thursday, with only a 3 minute walk from one to the other.

- – -

Continuing news from the “Family Health Department:” Our 18 year old son Jacob continues to be quite anemic. As you may recall he was in the hospital a couple weeks ago, caused by internal bleeding (which was caused by a medication he was taking for a wrestling knee injury). He is still quite weak, so we have a journey there as well.

Now from the “Muscle Groans Department:” Skyline Church offers an incredible “Boot Camp” to get in good shape physically. I signed up for it and went – beginning Monday. I have NEVER, NEVER, NEVER had so many SUPER sore muscles – everywhere! Thanks to the excessive soreness, I now walk like a 90 year old.

The Boot Camp is awesome. The “drill sergeant” (Jake Glazer) is fabulous. And Sean Howarter (Skyline’s sports pastor) is to be so congratulated for thinking of this. But my muscles – at this moment – do NOT like either of them. (smile)

- – -

Now from the “Motherhood, Apple Pie and the Flag Department:” Carol LOVES – I mean REALLY loves – to bake apple pies each 4th of July. Every year she goes out in the front yard and picks fruit from the apple tree, then bakes the pies.

Two years ago, she was extremely sick in the hospital. (In fact, the 4th of July time was one of her worst times.) Dennis Suchecki, from Skyline Church, came over and picked the apples. My mother and my brother-in-law baked them. We took the pies to the hospital and served them to the entire staff of the 8th floor oncology unit that year. (Carol cried hard initially that she could not do the picking and baking, but quickly got over that and began to rejoice as she saw the nurses enjoying themselves.)

Well – fast forward to this year! Carol was “up and at it” – picking the apples and baking the pies. She was in heaven! She was feeling so good on the 4th – for which we praise God. In fact, we celebrated the 4th on the 5th and the 6th as well.

And – if…if…if…if she is doing good this afternoon (Friday afternoon), we are going to the beach! The second day through the fourth day – after chemo – in the last chemo round, were NOT good days. They were rough. But we are believing she is going to feel so good that we will make it to the beach. We have not been able to go for – I am not sure how long – so very long. So we are very excited about that.

Thank you…thank you so much…for continuing to pray for her. We are superbly grateful!

---

Friday, June 26, 2009

posted on 06/26/2009

I have good news to report! Carol has improved! I am so, so, so grateful.

As you know from previous blogs, she became sick from the chemo Friday night (June 19). Saturday and Sunday (a week ago) were disconcerting, disappointing and discouraging. It felt a little like the horrific experience of 2007.

There were some improvements by Wednesday (June 24). But finally today at approximately 2:15 pm (but whose keeping time, right?), she stated, “Even though I don’t have my strength back, I don’t feel sick now.” That was awesome news.

Apparently the “chemo accumulation” is such that it finally took its toll this past week. The “Friday-to-Friday” sickness was, we presume, a response to not one, or two, but all three rounds of chemo.

Although her strength was very low during most of the past week, it is back, I think, to the 65% mark, for which we are very grateful.

Her strength was such that we were able to go to Doheny State Beach & Park (Dana Point) on Wednesday evening to be with 90 of our high schoolers and 20+ of our high school staff and workers. (See my all church email about how incredibly awesome the youth camp was.)

We left home at 5 pm Thursday and arrived back home at 11:30 pm that night. That was all she could handle. But I was so grateful she could handle that.

Then on Thursday, our older two children and grandchildren “migrated” to our backyard pool in what was an unplanned and spontaneous gathering. That really invigorated Carol. She was able to get in the pool with grandkids and REALLY LOVED IT.

As the sun went down, she wrapped up in a blanket and lay on a lawn chair. She was quiet as the rest of us laughed and talked. I knew she was “spent.” But, as was confirmed by later conversation, she was so fulfilled to have her family with her.

Bottom line: One week ago right now (7 pm, Friday), I was talking with her and saw the “blank look” in her eyes. I could tell something was wrong. She simply muttered, “I don’t feel good.” And what a week it was.

But praise God, she is so much improved! And for that, we thank God and we thank you for your prayers.

---

Wednesday, June 24

posted on 06/24/2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 3 pm

This blog is less about Carol’s condition, as it is about the emotional ups & downs of the cancer battle. Perhaps this will be helpful to some caregiver out there.

Tuesdays are always long meeting days for me. My meetings went solid from 8:30 am till 6:30 pm. Since our children – Jake & Josie – are gone to youth camp, I was eager to finally get home and see how Carol was doing.

On the way home, I tried calling her. Once. Then twice. Then three times. Finally four times. I became concerned.

I walked in the house – at 6:45 pm, wondering where she was. She was laying on the large chair & ottoman in the living room, covered up, asleep. I wondered why she had not heard the phone ringing so many times, then noticed she had iPod earpieces in both ears.

I walked over to her, not wanting to frighten her as I woke her. I said, “Carol.” Then again, then again, then louder, thinking I would overpower the iPod.

Seeing that my voice was not waking her, I touched her forearm. Touching it did not awaken her. I rubbed it more, and then noticed it was cold, or at least not as warm as I expected. Then I felt a moment of fear.

In the two seconds that followed, might heart pounded. I went through a moment of panic! What was wrong?

Finally, she then opened her eyes. Very groggy.

The whole incident of panic lasted only a couple seconds. But it impacted me. For two seconds, I felt I might have lost her.

We talked for a minute. I never told her that my heart was still racing – from the momentary fear I felt. I took my things to my study, and came right back to her, for us to get some dinner in the kitchen. But she was sound asleep. Again. I stood there for a moment. Then I realized that I should not awaken her. Obviously she needed the rest.

Disappointment consumed me. I had expected to be with Carol. I had come home expecting to enjoy being “empty nesters” for four days while the kids were at camp. (You see, we have been raising babies since 1977! In case you do not know, that is a long time – smile)

Realizing she was not doing well, I did not waken her a second time. I let her sleep. I went to the frig and pulled out something to eat. I sat at the table to eat, and had – I am ashamed to admit – a “pity party.” I was bummed she was sick. I was bummed that – instead of enjoying four evenings of “empty nesting” – I was alone.

And to be honest, I was still impacted by her not awakening as quickly as I had anticipated. That moment had put some fear in me. Cancer does that. It messes with your head.

I sat there feeling sorry for myself, eating alone.

Then, after about five minutes, it hit me. This is so self-absorbed. My thoughts are so blasted selfish. This is so “it’s all about me.” I became quite ashamed of myself.

I should have been thinking “how must Carol be feeling?” She had been home all day. I should have been focusing on “what is she experiencing.”

Moving beyond my “personal pity party,” I heard a noise. I looked to my right. It was Carol, getting up. Still a bit groggy. But up.

I was very thankful for that. And we enjoyed a great evening together.

Care-givers can, if not careful, become too self-focused. I have been fortunate through 2007 and most of the last 100 days to not experience that. Yet there had been moments when I was consumed with how badly I felt about “things” – about this thing called “cancer” and what it had done to my life. Last evening, around 7 pm was one of those self-centered moments, I am ashamed to say. It showed me how vulnerable I am to the old “it’s all about me” syndrome.

As we moved from Tuesday into Wednesday, it does not appear that Carol’s energy has improved lots, but it has definitely improved some. And I am so grateful.

As I write this, she thinks she is feeling good enough for us to make a drive to the state park and beach where our church youth – including our own two children – are camping out this week.

So it appears (as of the moment of this writing) that she is feeling somewhat better. It seems to change quickly. Chemo does that. But at this moment, she is doing reasonably well, say 40%+ strength level.

And for that I am so thankful!

---

Monday, June 22, 2009

posted on 06/22/2009

In the last few blogs, I reported that Carol was handling the chemo so well. And she was. Definitive word: “was.”

I wrote at 5 pm on Friday that Carol was doing so well. Two hours later, I could tell she was not. Friday evening her strength began to plummet.

Saturday she lay on the living sofa, groaning, nauseous – like the “old times” of 2007.

Sunday she was in bed all day, still feeling sick. Missed church for the first time. (In 2007, she missed church for five months, I believe.)

Monday she was somewhat improved, so much so that she was able to go to the church to say goodbye to Jake and Josie as they left for youth camp for the week. But by Monday afternoon, she was back in bed. A few moments ago, she said, “I don’t feel good.”

I need to contextualize this a bit: From June to November 2007, her strength level was often – as I have said – as low as the 2% mark. She could do almost nothing. And she was in great discomfort. She lay quiet, motionless, sometimes moaning. It was hard.

During the previous two rounds of chemo (the past seven weeks), Carol has handled the chemo so well. In my usual “percentage-style thinking,” I have said she is at the 65% level, strength-wise.

Well, that definitely changed Friday night, June 19. It fell to 25%, or so it seemed to me, a dramatic drop. Today for awhile (noon time, when Jake & Josie were leaving for camp), I thought we were increasing to the 40% mark. But it appears that might have been temporary.

My concern is plain. Chemo, we know, is cumulative in its impact. It “builds.” I am very concerned that her body has reached a point where it might not be able to respond at that 65% level we have enjoyed so much. If that is the case, we could be in this mode till October.

I was SO looking forward to a summer with her being well. Summer 2007 was taken by great sickness. Summer 2008 was taken by the Prop 8 battle. Summer 2009 was to be THE summer. Then came cancer again – in March. But – to my great delight – she was handling the chemo so very well, that I thought, “we might actually have a somewhat ‘normal’ summer.”

As you know, I feel the liberty to use this blog for some catharsis. And perhaps that is what I am doing. I admit it.

And when I consider so many who have lost their mates in the battle of cancer, I should be rejoicing that I am not in that situation.

So we praise God for what we do have, even if it is only 25% strength and does not feel very “normal.” We shall see what is ahead. I am praying the new low of “25%” is not the new “normal.”

We really appreciate your prayers – so very much. I put out a message on Facebook last evening. I did not even think about people responding, as I know how busy we all are. But within minutes, commitments to pray for her came pouring in. It was so very gratifying to see – or rather feel – this.

So, once again, thank you for your ongoing prayers.

---

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

posted on 06/19/2009

Okay, I have not updated the blog for a month! I have heard from many of you, saying “what is wrong?” Some of you have been worried that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong, except I am overcommitted & overextended.

Summary: Carol is doing well, except for reaction to chemo. Her left arm is in pain, swelled, with red splotches all over. It is an inexplicable reaction to the chemo. She was in Urgent Care last night. She was in pain last night and tonight. So, we’ll have to check it out.

Her strength level is about 65%, which is encouraging. Overall, she is handling the chemo well. Remember in 2007, her strength level was about 2%. She lay in a darkened room, moaning, in horrible pain, and vomiting for over seven weeks nonstop, with repeated trips to the hospital. So we are ecstatic that her strength level is 65%!

Since this blog tends to cover overall “family news,” I’ll include a few more things.

Last week, our 18 year old son Jake was in the hospital for 3 days & two nights. He had a wrestling injury several months ago. He was on Naproxen for an injured knee. The meds plus ibuprofen products created a bleeding ulcer. The ulcerations caused a substantial loss of blood. We did not recognize the symptoms quickly enough. His stomach will be healing over the next eight weeks.

I am so thankful that Carol was strong enough to stay with him during the hospital visit. I was there much of the time, but she really “stayed the course.”

In addition, they put Jake in one of the few beds available, which turned out to be first floor in the new hospital. Unknown to us, that was the oncology floor (8th floor in the old hospital where Carol had been). Therefore, Carol knew all the nurses as they had cared for her so many times in the last half of 2007. As a result, they were so sensitive to Carol each time they came in to take care of Jacob.

Carol, Jake, Josie and I were able to make a trip to Washington, DC, May 19-21 where I received the “Watchman on the Wall” award from the Family Research Council, and the family toured all the standard sights. We had a superb time.

Last week, I made a quick trip to Norfolk, VA, where I spoke briefly at a major pastors conference, then at a nearby youth pastors conference, and then did two interviews with CBN, 700 Club.

My new book, HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE came out today! I was so surprised as I did not expect it until the announced release date of July 1. The presale numbers are so encouraging that the publisher is in dialogue with us regarding a sequel.

On May 26, the Supreme Court of California announced that it would uphold Prop 8, the marriage amendment here. This was encouraging. As a result I did 30 interviews in three days, including Larry King Live and another (taped) stint on Dr. Phil. It was an intense time.

Thank you to so many who help support my one minute radio commentary called THE GARLOW PERSPECTIVE, which is now on 685 radio outlets each day. We have had a couple of major fundraisers recently. A huge thank you to those who have helped with that!

We are so encouraged that we are FINALLY getting ready to build a badly needed auditorium here at Skyline Church. We are in the architectural phase, fund raising phase and permitting phase. It is look so very encouraging. I am really pumped about this!

Back to Carol, the real purpose of this blog. Here is the positive and the negative:

Positively, she is dong well on a daily basis, in terms of handling the chemo. She looks so good. You would hardly know she is a chemo patient. But therein lies a problem, which I will mention in two paragraphs.

Negatively, she needs a miracle to “break through” the five year mark. She has had two of six rounds of chemo this time. She will complete chemo by Oct 1. Then she needs to get into remission AND STAY THERE. We must have that breakthrough. We need a miracle. And we are candidates for it!

Negatively, I sometimes feel that we are not caring for her as we (Jake, Josie and I) should. The reason? We are thrown a bit “off guard.” When she was so very sick in June-Dec of 2007, I cancelled everything and ministered to her. It was easy to do because she could not do anything, and desperately needed 24 hour care.

But now she looks well. In fact she looks great. People say all the time to her (much to her embarrassment), “you look beautiful!” And she does. Consequently, we are not able to see what is happening at times on the “inside.”

For example, there are times (always unanticipated) when she suddenly needs us. There are unpredictable times – out of the blue – when she has pain. It is rare. It is not often. But it occurs at times – totally without warning.

The fact that she gets around so well and looks so good is a two-edged sword. Since she seems to be so well and get around, we are not as focused on her as she sometimes needs. We are not adept at anticipating when the chemo takes a toll (maybe once every three or four days) and she says “I don’t feel good!”

Thus I am moving into a “shut down” time during July and August. In fact, I am trying to significantly slow things down during the remainder of June. But I am determined to really focus at home during July and August. I have a wonderful and skilled group of pastors and support staff at church. They are exceptional! I have 100% confidence in them.

Carol (along with Jake & Josie) will appreciate it. We will do simple things like clean closets and garage and files. But we will also sit by the pool and doze off in a lounge chairs.

I, above all, will be able to truly focus on her. She deserves it!

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Friday, June 19, 2009

posted on 06/19/2009

Carol had chemo round 3 out of 6 yesterday, thus we are halfway through this “chemo season.” She is handling it so well! Her CA-125 markers were 5.5 (last report – on May 26) which is great! In fact, that is the lowest ever. Anything under 30 is considered good for most people. But for some reason, Carol’s numbers are a bit more “sensitive.” Her slight increase to “11” ninety days ago (which should have been of little concern for most people) indicated cancerous activity, which required the March surgery. Thus her CA-125 needs to stay between 5 and 7 or 8.

Her arm and veins have reacted to the constant “poking” and the chemo. The result has been rashes, splotches, swelling and pain. After much discussion, we have decided to have a “port” installed, under the skin of her arm, through which chemo will be given and blood work drawn. The choice was either a “port” or installing a PICC line, something that had caused enormous pain for Carol in 2007.

However, it is still so very encouraging to see Carol continue to operate at 65% or so of strength. It has been wonderful!

We are so grateful for your love and prayers. We would be “lost” without the love and prayers of believers. Thank you so very much!

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Part 2 of round 1 of chemo

posted on 05/08/2009

Friday, May 8, 2009, 5 pm

I am thrilled to report that Carol is handling part 2 of round 1 of chemo phenomenally well! She had chemo on Thursday (Gemsitibine only). She does require more sleep, sometimes wearing out a bit faster. But other than that, her body is tolerating this treatment in an exceptional manner.

Round one is done. Only five more to go!

Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers. We are profoundly grateful.

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