Update on Carol

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Friday, June 26, 2009, 7 pm

I have good news to report! Carol has improved! I am so, so, so grateful.

As you know from previous blogs, she became sick from the chemo Friday night (June 19). Saturday and Sunday (a week ago) were disconcerting, disappointing and discouraging. It felt a little like the horrific experience of 2007.

There were some improvements by Wednesday (June 24). But finally today at approximately 2:15 pm (but whose keeping time, right?), she stated, “Even though I don’t have my strength back, I don’t feel sick now.” That was awesome news.

Apparently the “chemo accumulation” is such that it finally took its toll this past week. The “Friday-to-Friday” sickness was, we presume, a response to not one, or two, but all three rounds of chemo.

Although her strength was very low during most of the past week, it is back, I think, to the 65% mark, for which we are very grateful.

Her strength was such that we were able to go to Doheny State Beach & Park (Dana Point) on Wednesday evening to be with 90 of our high schoolers and 20+ of our high school staff and workers. (See my all church email about how incredibly awesome the youth camp was.)

We left home at 5 pm Thursday and arrived back home at 11:30 pm that night. That was all she could handle. But I was so grateful she could handle that.

Then on Thursday, our older two children and grandchildren “migrated” to our backyard pool in what was an unplanned and spontaneous gathering. That really invigorated Carol. She was able to get in the pool with grandkids and REALLY LOVED IT.

As the sun went down, she wrapped up in a blanket and lay on a lawn chair. She was quiet as the rest of us laughed and talked. I knew she was “spent.” But, as was confirmed by later conversation, she was so fulfilled to have her family with her.

Bottom line: One week ago right now (7 pm, Friday), I was talking with her and saw the “blank look” in her eyes. I could tell something was wrong. She simply muttered, “I don’t feel good.” And what a week it was.

But praise God, she is so much improved! And for that, we thank God and we thank you for your prayers.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 3 pm

This blog is less about Carol’s condition, as it is about the emotional ups & downs of the cancer battle. Perhaps this will be helpful to some caregiver out there.

Tuesdays are always long meeting days for me. My meetings went solid from 8:30 am till 6:30 pm. Since our children – Jake & Josie – are gone to youth camp, I was eager to finally get home and see how Carol was doing.

On the way home, I tried calling her. Once. Then twice. Then three times. Finally four times. I became concerned.

I walked in the house – at 6:45 pm, wondering where she was. She was laying on the large chair & ottoman in the living room, covered up, asleep. I wondered why she had not heard the phone ringing so many times, then noticed she had iPod earpieces in both ears.

I walked over to her, not wanting to frighten her as I woke her. I said, “Carol.” Then again, then again, then louder, thinking I would overpower the iPod.

Seeing that my voice was not waking her, I touched her forearm. Touching it did not awaken her. I rubbed it more, and then noticed it was cold, or at least not as warm as I expected. Then I felt a moment of fear.

In the two seconds that followed, might heart pounded. I went through a moment of panic! What was wrong?

Finally, she then opened her eyes. Very groggy.

The whole incident of panic lasted only a couple seconds. But it impacted me. For two seconds, I felt I might have lost her.

We talked for a minute. I never told her that my heart was still racing – from the momentary fear I felt. I took my things to my study, and came right back to her, for us to get some dinner in the kitchen. But she was sound asleep. Again. I stood there for a moment. Then I realized that I should not awaken her. Obviously she needed the rest.

Disappointment consumed me. I had expected to be with Carol. I had come home expecting to enjoy being “empty nesters” for four days while the kids were at camp. (You see, we have been raising babies since 1977! In case you do not know, that is a long time - smile)

Realizing she was not doing well, I did not waken her a second time. I let her sleep. I went to the frig and pulled out something to eat. I sat at the table to eat, and had – I am ashamed to admit – a “pity party.” I was bummed she was sick. I was bummed that – instead of enjoying four evenings of “empty nesting” – I was alone.

And to be honest, I was still impacted by her not awakening as quickly as I had anticipated. That moment had put some fear in me. Cancer does that. It messes with your head.

I sat there feeling sorry for myself, eating alone.

Then, after about five minutes, it hit me. This is so self-absorbed. My thoughts are so blasted selfish. This is so “it’s all about me.” I became quite ashamed of myself.

I should have been thinking “how must Carol be feeling?” She had been home all day. I should have been focusing on “what is she experiencing.”

Moving beyond my “personal pity party,” I heard a noise. I looked to my right. It was Carol, getting up. Still a bit groggy. But up.

I was very thankful for that. And we enjoyed a great evening together.

Care-givers can, if not careful, become too self-focused. I have been fortunate through 2007 and most of the last 100 days to not experience that. Yet there had been moments when I was consumed with how badly I felt about “things” – about this thing called “cancer” and what it had done to my life. Last evening, around 7 pm was one of those self-centered moments, I am ashamed to say. It showed me how vulnerable I am to the old “it’s all about me” syndrome.

As we moved from Tuesday into Wednesday, it does not appear that Carol’s energy has improved lots, but it has definitely improved some. And I am so grateful.

As I write this, she thinks she is feeling good enough for us to make a drive to the state park and beach where our church youth – including our own two children – are camping out this week.

So it appears (as of the moment of this writing) that she is feeling somewhat better. It seems to change quickly. Chemo does that. But at this moment, she is doing reasonably well, say 40%+ strength level.

And for that I am so thankful!

Monday, June 22, 2009, 11 pm

In the last few blogs, I reported that Carol was handling the chemo so well.  And she was.  Definitive word: “was.” 

I wrote at 5 pm on Friday that Carol was doing so well.  Two hours later, I could tell she was not.  Friday evening her strength began to plummet.

Saturday she lay on the living sofa, groaning, nauseous – like the “old times” of 2007.

Sunday she was in bed all day, still feeling sick.  Missed church for the first time.  (In 2007, she missed church for five months, I believe.)

Monday she was somewhat improved, so much so that she was able to go to the church to say goodbye to Jake and Josie as they left for youth camp for the week.  But by Monday afternoon, she was back in bed.  A few moments ago, she said, “I don’t feel good.”

I need to contextualize this a bit:  From June to November 2007, her strength level was often – as I have said – as low as the 2% mark.  She could do almost nothing.  And she was in great discomfort.  She lay quiet, motionless, sometimes moaning.  It was hard.

During the previous two rounds of chemo (the past seven weeks), Carol has handled the chemo so well.  In my usual “percentage-style thinking,” I have said she is at the 65% level, strength-wise.

Well, that definitely changed Friday night, June 19.  It fell to 25%, or so it seemed to me, a dramatic drop.  Today for awhile (noon time, when Jake & Josie were leaving for camp), I thought we were increasing to the 40% mark.  But it appears that might have been temporary.

My concern is plain.  Chemo, we know, is cumulative in its impact.  It “builds.”  I am very concerned that her body has reached a point where it might not be able to respond at that 65% level we have enjoyed so much.  If that is the case, we could be in this mode till October. 

I was SO looking forward to a summer with her being well.  Summer 2007 was taken by great sickness.  Summer 2008 was taken by the Prop 8 battle.  Summer 2009 was to be THE summer.  Then came cancer again – in March.  But – to my great delight – she was handling the chemo so very well, that I thought, “we might actually have a somewhat ‘normal’ summer.”

As you know, I feel the liberty to use this blog for some catharsis.  And perhaps that is what I am doing.  I admit it. 

And when I consider so many who have lost their mates in the battle of cancer, I should be rejoicing that I am not in that situation.

So we praise God for what we do have, even if it is only 25% strength and does not feel very “normal.”  We shall see what is ahead.  I am praying the new low of “25%” is not the new “normal.” 

We really appreciate your prayers – so very much.  I put out a message on Facebook last evening.  I did not even think about people responding, as I know how busy we all are.  But within minutes, commitments to pray for her came pouring in.  It was so very gratifying to see – or rather feel – this.  

So, once again, thank you for your ongoing prayers. 

Friday, June 19, 2009, 5 pm

Carol had chemo round 3 out of 6 yesterday, thus we are halfway through this “chemo season.” She is handling it so well! Her CA-125 markers were 5.5 (last report - on May 26) which is great! In fact, that is the lowest ever. Anything under 30 is considered good for most people. But for some reason, Carol’s numbers are a bit more “sensitive.” Her slight increase to “11” ninety days ago (which should have been of little concern for most people) indicated cancerous activity, which required the March surgery. Thus her CA-125 needs to stay between 5 and 7 or 8.

Her arm and veins have reacted to the constant “poking” and the chemo. The result has been rashes, splotches, swelling and pain. After much discussion, we have decided to have a “port” installed, under the skin of her arm, through which chemo will be given and blood work drawn. The choice was either a “port” or installing a PICC line, something that had caused enormous pain for Carol in 2007.

However, it is still so very encouraging to see Carol continue to operate at 65% or so of strength. It has been wonderful!

We are so grateful for your love and prayers. We would be “lost” without the love and prayers of believers. Thank you so very much!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009, 11 pm

Okay, I have not updated the blog for a month! I have heard from many of you, saying “what is wrong?” Some of you have been worried that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong, except I am overcommitted & overextended.

Summary: Carol is doing well, except for reaction to chemo. Her left arm is in pain, swelled, with red splotches all over. It is an inexplicable reaction to the chemo. She was in Urgent Care last night. She was in pain last night and tonight. So, we’ll have to check it out.

Her strength level is about 65%, which is encouraging. Overall, she is handling the chemo well. Remember in 2007, her strength level was about 2%. She lay in a darkened room, moaning, in horrible pain, and vomiting for over seven weeks nonstop, with repeated trips to the hospital. So we are ecstatic that her strength level is 65%!

Since this blog tends to cover overall “family news,” I’ll include a few more things.

Last week, our 18 year old son Jake was in the hospital for 3 days & two nights. He had a wrestling injury several months ago. He was on Naproxen for an injured knee. The meds plus ibuprofen products created a bleeding ulcer. The ulcerations caused a substantial loss of blood. We did not recognize the symptoms quickly enough. His stomach will be healing over the next eight weeks.

I am so thankful that Carol was strong enough to stay with him during the hospital visit. I was there much of the time, but she really “stayed the course.”

In addition, they put Jake in one of the few beds available, which turned out to be first floor in the new hospital. Unknown to us, that was the oncology floor (8th floor in the old hospital where Carol had been). Therefore, Carol knew all the nurses as they had cared for her so many times in the last half of 2007. As a result, they were so sensitive to Carol each time they came in to take care of Jacob.

Carol, Jake, Josie and I were able to make a trip to Washington, DC, May 19-21 where I received the “Watchman on the Wall” award from the Family Research Council, and the family toured all the standard sights. We had a superb time.

Last week, I made a quick trip to Norfolk, VA, where I spoke briefly at a major pastors conference, then at a nearby youth pastors conference, and then did two interviews with CBN, 700 Club.

My new book, HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE came out today! I was so surprised as I did not expect it until the announced release date of July 1. The presale numbers are so encouraging that the publisher is in dialogue with us regarding a sequel.

On May 26, the Supreme Court of California announced that it would uphold Prop 8, the marriage amendment here. This was encouraging. As a result I did 30 interviews in three days, including Larry King Live and another (taped) stint on Dr. Phil. It was an intense time.

Thank you to so many who help support my one minute radio commentary called THE GARLOW PERSPECTIVE, which is now on 685 radio outlets each day. We have had a couple of major fundraisers recently. A huge thank you to those who have helped with that!

We are so encouraged that we are FINALLY getting ready to build a badly needed auditorium here at Skyline Church. We are in the architectural phase, fund raising phase and permitting phase. It is look so very encouraging. I am really pumped about this!

Back to Carol, the real purpose of this blog. Here is the positive and the negative:

Positively, she is dong well on a daily basis, in terms of handling the chemo. She looks so good. You would hardly know she is a chemo patient. But therein lies a problem, which I will mention in two paragraphs.

Negatively, she needs a miracle to “break through” the five year mark. She has had two of six rounds of chemo this time. She will complete chemo by Oct 1. Then she needs to get into remission AND STAY THERE. We must have that breakthrough. We need a miracle. And we are candidates for it!

Negatively, I sometimes feel that we are not caring for her as we (Jake, Josie and I) should. The reason? We are thrown a bit “off guard.” When she was so very sick in June-Dec of 2007, I cancelled everything and ministered to her. It was easy to do because she could not do anything, and desperately needed 24 hour care.

But now she looks well. In fact she looks great. People say all the time to her (much to her embarrassment), “you look beautiful!” And she does. Consequently, we are not able to see what is happening at times on the “inside.”

For example, there are times (always unanticipated) when she suddenly needs us. There are unpredictable times – out of the blue – when she has pain. It is rare. It is not often. But it occurs at times – totally without warning.

The fact that she gets around so well and looks so good is a two-edged sword. Since she seems to be so well and get around, we are not as focused on her as she sometimes needs. We are not adept at anticipating when the chemo takes a toll (maybe once every three or four days) and she says “I don’t feel good!”

Thus I am moving into a “shut down” time during July and August. In fact, I am trying to significantly slow things down during the remainder of June. But I am determined to really focus at home during July and August. I have a wonderful and skilled group of pastors and support staff at church. They are exceptional! I have 100% confidence in them.

Carol (along with Jake & Josie) will appreciate it. We will do simple things like clean closets and garage and files. But we will also sit by the pool and doze off in a lounge chairs.

I, above all, will be able to truly focus on her. She deserves it!

Friday, May 8, 2009, 5 pm

I am thrilled to report that Carol is handling part 2 of round 1 of chemo phenomenally well! She had chemo on Thursday (Gemsitibine only). She does require more sleep, sometimes wearing out a bit faster. But other than that, her body is tolerating this treatment in an exceptional manner.

Round one is done. Only five more to go!

Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers. We are profoundly grateful.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009, 2 pm

Let me say at the outset, today’s blog is good news.

Bottom line: the CT Scan did NOT show anything on Carol’s right side, between the rib and the lung.  Although that does not 100% rule out a tumor, it vastly reduces the chances that what she has there is Peritoneal Cancer.  This is superb news.

You may know that an MRI is more “sensitive” than a CT Scan.  That MIGHT account for what happened.  The MRI might have picked up scar tissue, or a benign tumor, or it is even possible that Carol moved slightly during the MRI.

Whatever is or was there is below the ability of a CT Scan to detect. A CT Scan has the ability to detect something 9mm in size.  (A PET Scan would not detect it either.)  Thus the chances are much stronger that it was / is not cancer.

If after chemo, a new MRI reading indicates no change, then it was almost certainly not cancer.

If – on the other hand – after chemo, a new MRI reading indicates a significant reduction, then it might have been cancer after all.  Even that is not fully conclusive.  We will only know that it MIGHT have been cancer.

The growth in suspect is too close to the lungs for a needle biopsy.  It is too small (9mm) to do surgery.  Its presence does not merit that, especially in light of the chemo being given. 

Carol continues to do so very well in tolerating the chemo, SO MUCH BETTER than before.  The fact that she is not taking Taxal is one factor.  Due to not receiving Taxal, she is likely not going to lose her hair this time.

In addition, her oncologist did reduce the dose slightly, in hopes of not suppressing her white blood cell count too severely which, in turn, would have meant that she could not have received chemo tomorrow.

Carol will have chemo – part 2 of round 1 – tomorrow, the recipe calling only for Gemsitabine this time.

The oncologist, while admittedly very pleased with the CT Scan, did bring us back to reality by stressing the seriousness of Carol’s recurrence, as it relates to the future.  

Simply put, the miracle is still needed.  But we are thankful for this part of a miracle.  After all, we did pray that it would be nothing, right?  

So that is another possibility: it was “something;”  then came prayer;  “it” became nothing.  Yes!

I don’t spend much time on roller coasters.  My life is too thrill-oriented to need that, or bungee jumping, or any other thrills – all of which are sub par to the level of events in my everyday life. 

(If you want thrills, adopt four children, try to build a church building in southern California, write 10 books and take care of spouse with cancer.  How could life get more exciting than that?)

As you know, the cancer journey is similar to a roller coaster.  My mind wanders backward to times that are so emblazoned on my heart that I don’t even need to look up the dates.  July-August 2007 – particularly Aug 18 – felt so dark.  On Oct 23, 2007 (and the six weeks that followed) when it was believed the cancer had spread to the liver, we were overshadowed with a sense of desperation.  March 20-30, 2009 was like a “11 day death sentence.”  April 30 – May 6 was a new season of deep disappointment and alarm. 

However, there are the truly wonderful days too.  Many of them.  And today is one of them.  Whereas we know we still have a rugged journey, we have received a needed and helpful nudge.  That nudge is called “results from answered prayer.”

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you so much.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009, 9 pm

We are so exceptionally thrilled. Carol is handling the chemo superbly! This is a most significant answer to prayer.

We could never have expected she would be THIS good. Our daughter Janie, her husband Jeremy and their sons Riley & Aidan were prepared to move into our home from now until October to help me care for Carol, because we have such vivid memories of “chemo 2007.” The care-giving needs were so constant from June 07 to Feb 08.

Janie, my sister Judy, daughter in law Lacy, and many other ladies from the church (along with the men of our family) came and helped, but I functioned as one of the primary caregivers.

This time Janie was prepared to help me by taking on an even more significant role. And I thought I would need the help. However, that is simply not the case. We are rejoicing.

Carol had another CT Scan yesterday. The goal? To see why the March 26 CT Scan showed no tumor on the right side, yet a 9mm one was detected in the MRI a month later.

In addition, she had more blood work done today. We meet with the oncologist early Wednesday morning to hear his analysis of what is occurring.

Warning: Vulnerability ahead. Do not proceed further if you prefer “facts only.”

In previous blogs, I referenced Dan Iverson’s – age 40 – passing. Our congregation grieves for his wonderful bride Jennifer and two sons – ages 11 and 8. I cannot overstate how challenging this loss was to the entire church.

In our home, Carol feels the loss so keenly. We surely do rejoice for him! But we grieve for us.

Let me explain why I am mentioning Dan once again. I have taken some substantial risks in this blog over the past two years. Sometimes I suspect I am too vulnerable, perhaps to the point of causing the reader to possibly feel uncomfortable. That is certainly not my goal. But I have made a conscious decision. If I am to error, I will error on the side of disclosure, rather than on the side of withholding information.

I reference Dan’s passing, along with the April 30, Thursday MRI finding to contextualize our emotions at this time. Allow me to invite you into our hearts.

To summarize, we have, once again, fallen deeply in love. The past few days have been heavenly. After 38 years of marriage, we are always conscious of our love for each other. But Thursday’s MRI discovery and Friday’s funeral heightened our sense of love. If anyone were around us, they would conclude that we are 22 year old newlyweds.

That was Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Now let’s move forward through the weekend.

Sunday morning consisted of my interviewing Miss CA / Miss USA Runner Up Carrie Prejean in the three Sunday services. (Carrie was remarkably articulate and convictional.)

On Sunday afternoon, I presided at the wedding of the sister (Kinder) of my daughter in law Lacy. The wedding reception was an awesome time, located at a stunning place, overlooking Glorietta Bay on the breathtaking Silver Strand (narrow sliver of land with ocean on one side, bay on the other).

Very late in the reception, after most of the people had left, Gary Kelly, knowing my love for Chicago (the band) chose to play “Color My World” by – of course – Chicago, one of my favorite three top bands of all time. As the song began, Carol and I embraced.

I held Carol during the lengthy instrumental introduction. As the vocals began, my tears began to flow. The thought of potentially losing Carol overwhelmed me for a few moments. (You need to remember three things were impacting us: 1. the MRI findings were quite disturbing. 2. I had just preached the funeral of an eight-year cancer fighter, and then, 3. I had just presided at a wonderful wedding. This combination was potent to our emotions.)

I held Carol close, not wanting her – and the few that remained at the reception – to see me crying. But as I held her, I thought I began to hear the sound of crying. Then I felt her tears flowing down the side of my face. We just held each other tightly through the entire song, crying together, thinking the same thoughts.

Can you hear the melody?

"As time goes on

I realize

Just what you mean

To me

And now

Now that you're near

Promise your love

That I've waited to share

And dreams

Of our moments together

Color my world with hope of loving you"

That night, on that night, “Color My World” became OUR song.

Saturday, May 2, 2009, 3 pm

Yesterday many – practically a capacity crowd – gathered to say goodbye to Dan Iverson. I shared the funeral sermon. Seeing Jennifer on the front row with Lane (11) and Burke (8) was quite painful. The video of his life was quite moving. Many tears – from many. Several shared deeply personal thoughts – including Carol, who told the story of Dan inspiring her to “keep on” during his worst, darkest days. Dan was such a help to Carol. He made my job as caregiver so much easier. While we do truly celebrate his successful coronation, he is badly missed. And Jennifer is – like Dan – a person of amazing courage.

After the disappointment of Thursday’s doctor’s visit and the pain from the loss of Dan, it is nice to report something upbeat and positive. Carol has had Part 1 (Part 2 is next week) of Round 1 (there are 6 rounds) of chemo. We are on Day 3. Last time (August 2007) she was SO, SO, SO very sick at this time. Today she is doing fine. No nausea. In 2007, we had seven+ weeks of non-stop nausea, and months of sickness and multiple other complications. I cannot tell you how pleased and happy we are at this.

We recognize that this might be considered a small victory (in light of Thursday's MRI report), but if you had seen her condition during Aug-Sept-Oct-Nov 2007, you would see why we are elated. We take victories whenever we can. We are rejoicing! Thank you for praying.

Thursday, April 30, 2009, 11 pm

I have put off writing for twelve hours. I love writing good news. I do not like writing difficult news.

The oncologist reported that Carol’s MRI from Tuesday (April 28) revealed a growth, 9mm in size (that would be 1/3 of an inch). It was not there in previous MRI readings, and was not there in the March 26 CT Scan.

It is located on the right side (in contrast to the growth removed on the left side, near the kidney, on March 30) between the rib and the lungs. It is too close to the lungs for a needle biopsy.

What is more perplexing is that it is outside the peritoneal lining. Peritoneal cancer does not usually grow outside the abdominal peritoneal lining. For it to be in that location, it had to get there through the bloodstream. If there is one that came via the bloodstream, there can be others, we were told.

This was totally unexpected. It was a shocker to us. My “heart” was not in writing this information.

In addition, Carol’s CA-125 markers were 11.9. While this is good – as it is under 30 – that is high for Carol. Her markers had stayed consistently 5.7 for months, then rose to 9.8 at the time of the MRI indication of the left side, near-the-kidney malignant tumor.

Three things: we are (and I admit it) extremely disappointed. Carol cried hard tonight, so disappointed.

Secondly: it does not change the planned chemo recipe of Carboplatin and Gemsitabine, which began today. Next week she will have only Gemsitabine. Then the third week, she will have “off.” That comprises one cycle. The six cycles will take her through Oct 1. We anticipate (are praying) that this season of chemo will not be nearly so toxic.

Thirdly: God still heals.

Positively, there is not 100% proof that the newly discovered growth is malignant. It will be watched very carefully over the days ahead. In order to further understand the nature of it, Carol will have another CT Scan on Monday, followed by a consultation with the oncologist on Wednesday – to see what new information we have.

Prayer needed, requested & appreciated.

Monday, April 27, 2009, 6 pm

On Friday and Saturday, Carol and I had what we have jokingly called “our last hurrah, BC.” That is, the last time before chemo. We track time as BC and AC, that is “before chemo” and “after chemo.” We are cherishing all the “before chemo” moments.

I spoke at the Azusa Street Festival in downtown LA on Friday from 3 pm to 6 pm. We were graciously hosted in a nice downtown LA hotel in the “Little Tokyo” area of the city, near the Japanese Cultural Center.

On Saturday, we went to Newport Beach where we enjoyed a banquet with 260 other guests on board a fabulous 700 ton yacht. Last fall the Pacific Justice Institute honored me for my work on Prop 8, before the election, with a wonderful award. They were so kind to honor me with an award again, well after the election. The yacht dinner was incredible! Bottom line: Friday / Saturday was a wonderful time for us. Until….

Until…until we got word that Dan Iverson was passing. For those of you outside Skyline Church, Dan Iverson has battled cancer for eight years, beginning at age 32. First, colon cancer. Later, liver cancer. He became a prayer project for Carol and her intercession team early on. Carol was so thrilled with the results, which confounded the medical community.

When Carol herself later was diagnosed with cancer, Dan became her #1 coach, mentor and cheerleader. On her darkest days (July, Aug, Sept, Nov 2007), it was Dan’s modeled hope that inspired her. She would repeatedly say, in moments of strongest pain, “Dan made it through this. So can I!” Carol and Dan enjoyed an appropriate, healthy, big sister / little brother relationship. Frankly, Dan’s example made my job easier, as a caregiver, during the most difficult times of Carol’s 2007 illness.

A few months ago, Dan grew worse. But he kept going – always at church. Then he turned much worse. Still he did not quit. Though his body was so noticeably ravaged by cancer’s impact, he did not “disappear” as so many would. He continued to come to church, and to live life as normally as possible with his wife Jennifer and his two boys.

Then Carol’s recurrence happened. Carol continued to look to him for needed inspiration. Even in their last conversation - on the church parking lot – he ran to her, though she chastised him for running. And he asked only about her. He refused to groan regarding his own condition, though it was quite obvious what cancer was doing.

We received word Saturday – while at our events in LA – that Dan was taken to the hospital, that he was slipping. We could not leave our event early, as we were on a yacht. We had to wait till the boat docked. We disembarked the boat and were in our car before 10:30 pm Saturday night. We exceeded the freeway speed limits, trying to get to San Diego to the hospital before….

But we did not arrive in time. We walked into the hospital at midnight. Dan had graduated to heaven at 11:22 pm. Carol was so disappointed that she could not say goodbye. She has sobbed a great deal.

Frankly, as I watched Dan’s body give way over the last two months, I have felt deep grief for him, his bride and his precious sons. And knowing his passing’s ripple effect on our home, I have been concerned of the impact that Dan’s death would have on Carol.

He was such an inspiration. He gave her hope. He understood what her recurrence meant, but he inspired her to fight and win. I have been concerned that Dan’s passing would demoralize Carol. We had a frank talk – in the early hours of Sunday, around 2:30 am – of the importance of not accepting Dan’s passing as a type of “inevitability” for us, that Carol would somehow concede that this battle cannot be won.

She is determined to fight on – and to win.

Back to Saturday night for a moment: Fortunately there were still 15 or 20 persons still there in the hospital room with Dan’s body when we arrived at midnight. We then had time to bring closure, with tears, Bible verses, singing, stories, laughter, and some silence. We left at 1:30 am Sunday morning.

Dan’s funeral will be Friday at 2 pm at Skyline. Dan Iverson, age 40, leaves behind a wonderful wife – Jennifer – and two profoundly stunned little boys, ages 8 and 11. We hurt deeply for them.

Carol is to begin her chemo on Thursday. She is very concerned about the timing of this, lest it impact her ability to attend Dan’s funeral. Just in case she is unable to attend, we are videotaping a brief comment she wants to make about Dan’s impact on her, on us all.

Shifting to today – Monday: We had hoped to “sit” for a portrait today, but alas, life’s busyness eclipsed that. However we will try to do it soon.

Thank you for continuing your prayers for Carol’s ongoing victory.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009, 11 pm

We met with the oncologist today.  Carol did blood work and is about to do another MRI to establish a new “baseline.”  Then chemo begins Thurs, April 30.  She will have carboplatin with gemsar week one.  Then gemsar by itself week two.  The third week will be an “off” week – with no chemo.  Each round will be three weeks.  She is to have six rounds, thus ending, as we have said before, by October.

We asked if there is any chance that the appearance of a single tumor could be one “left-over” from 2007, thus she would not be experiencing recurrence.  Such is not the case, according to our oncologist.  He explained that ALL recurrent cancer WAS ORIGINALLY PRESENT FROM THE BEGINNING.  This was quite new to us.  We had thought in terms of (1) cancer present in the beginning, and then, in contrast, (2) cancer that appeared and started growing – again.  He explained that was not the case, that cancer – once it comes back – was there all the time, just not detectable.

De-bulking and chemo gets rid of all the cancer they can.  However, if some cancer “comes back,” that means it was ALWAYS there, just not discernable.  Thus Carol’s recurrence WAS cancer that was always there – from the beginning, yet the procedures simply could not get it.  It is for this reason that they consider no recurrence in a five year period to be cancer “cured.” 

We discussed candidly the statistics, given Carol’s situation.  As we have stated before, she is “outside the medical books” – due in part to the infrequency of peritoneal cancer, and secondly, to the fact that her cancer recurred with only one tumor.  There is nothing to which she can be compared or contrasted. 

Another thing that was explained to us:  when a test comes back “positive” (meaning there is cancer present), the results are believed.  In contrast, when a test comes back “negative” (no apparent cancer), it does not mean that there is “no cancer,” but only that there is no DISCERNABLE cancer.  In other words, a “negative” result – though we all rejoice with it – is looked at, by medical personal, as inherently inconclusive.  There is an enormous difference between “no cancer” and “no discernable or detectable cancer.”

This is not meant to discourage.  Not at all.  It is just to inform of standard operating procedures.  But we don’t expect Carol’s case to be “standard!”

In fact, when I said to her doctor, “we know the % of survivability is ‘such and such’ (and I gave the number), we are STILL pressing for five years – from now – with no recurrence.  Her oncologist said, “and so am I!”   And he said it with fervor.  He is aggressive in his treatment – doing all he can.

And thank you for doing what you can – praying. Thank you so much!

Carol made a deeply desired trip last Friday to be with her parents and family in Dallas on her father’s birthday.  She will go with me Friday (speaking engagement) and Saturday (receiving an award) to Los Angeles.  Then we are strategically planning – between chemo treatments – for a trip to Washington, DC (receiving an award / attending a conference), with the goal of at least trying to keep life somewhat normal. 

We are praying that the chemo this time around will not be so debilitating.  Her oncologist believes it will not be.  We are encouraged.  Keep praying, please.

Monday, April 20, 2009, 9 pm

Carol had a great weekend, seeing her family in Dallas, Texas area on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, all gathered for her father’s birthday.  I was on Daystar TV network – taping two shows there, and then spoke at the Convergence Conference that was broadcast on GodTV.

We returned Saturday, in time for me to do a risky thing.  I am glad we had announced it, or I would have backed out.  We had the congregation – in each of the five weekend services – “nominate” the sermon topics of the day, then they voted on the top one, and I (along with the help of my wonderful pastoral team) had approximately 13 minutes to prepare the sermon of the day.  We went through this process in all five services – with five completely different sermons.  As if I don’t have enough stress in my life!  But with God’s help, it went great.

Carol sees her oncologist on Wednesday.  This is very important as we will learn the chemo schedule.  Things are moving quite slowly.  Frankly too slowly for me.  The MRI and CA-125 markers (for purposes of establishing a new baseline) will not take place for another week yet.

Thus we know very little at this time.  The most important thing occurred on Friday morning when I spoke at Cindy Jacob’s Convergence Conference in Cedar Hill, TX – south part of Dallas area.  Cindy called strong prayer warriors from the audience, along with Carol, and they focused on praying for her healing along with the 1200 attendees of the conference.  The local host pastor – Jim Hennesy of Trinity Church – along with his wife and team of intercessors prayed over Carol.  Why this is significant is that the intercessors of this church have declared it a “cancer-free zone.”  What a joy to be in a “cancer-free zone!” 

Thank you for continuing for praying.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009, 4 pm

We received word today why the radiation oncologists (last week) decided not to do radiation. They feel the marked tumor is too close to the kidney.  Radiation, they feel, could seriously damage her kidney.  Consequently, chemo will be the course of action at this point.

Carol will have an MRI in the next few days, along with re-doing the CA-125 markers, to establish a new “base line.” 

We press forward, confident in the arms of God, and deeply grateful for your prayers. 

Monday, April 13, 2009, 3 pm

We really have very little new information to share regarding Carol right now.  That is good!

We got home from Oasis Friday evening.  Saturday and Sunday were focused on Skyline’s six Easter services (which went great). And on Sunday eve Carol was in all her glory as the family gathered together for a meal.  It was a blessed time!

Carol is feeling very well right now.  She now looks normal and is able to get around very well, for which I am so grateful.

We are, at this time, unclear regarding radiation occurring or not occurring.  We will see her oncologist Wed, April 22 – so quite a delay right now.  We are in hopes he calls today or tomorrow to find out why the radiation oncologist suggested not have radiation.

We also do not know when chemo will begin.  I suspect it will begin the week of April 27, but we do not know.

Although our plans are “up in the air,” we have tried to plan out certain things.  The doctors knew that she wanted to be with her dad on his birthday this week.  We are flying to Dallas, TX early Thursday, back on Saturday.  I am speaking at the Convergence Conference in a south Dallas suburb – Cedar Hill – and Carol’s parents, along with her sister and brother in law, live nearby in the suburb of Desoto, so that worked out great.

This Easter was extra meaningful.  From March 20 (the report from the needle biopsy) till March 30 (the date of surgery), Carol’s prognosis, based on the best minds and medical literature, was so very bleak.  March 30 was the beginning of at least three miracles – and maybe a fourth – that turned so much around. 

She still, based on what we know at this time, has a long hard journey ahead.  But it is so much better than what was originally forecasted.  It is truly as if she went from a “death sentence” to a life pronouncement.  What is so interesting is that Michael and Annie Griffiths had felt so strongly that the role of Skyline Church was to speak (out loud) “life!” over Carol.  So the church did that – in service after service – on March 29.  And guess what, LIFE it was.  Thus this Easter has meant so very much to us! 

Thank you so much for praying for Carol.  Blessings on each one of you.

Thursday, April 9, 2009, 10 pm

We have completed Day 4. 

Carol is doing very well, but the treatment began to slightly "take a toll" today.  She moved slower, smiled a little less, talked less and felt slightly weak.  It is quite a process each day, so it is understandable that it finally impacted her.  Yet, overall, she is still doing so much better than last time we were here.

A new wrinkle emerged today that we believe is good.  When Carol called the San Diego radiation oncologist's office for her appointment, the nurse stated, "The doctors have reviewed your case and they don't believe you need radiation." 

This was a surprise to us, as both our oncologist and oncological surgeon had said she would have radiation.  They are both on vacation now, so we will not know more on this till next week.  At this point, we believe this is good news.  However, we are eager to get much more detail.

I walked (carefully) most of the day without the crutches.  That was nice!

On Thursday nights the patients at Oasis of Hope Hospital have a sing-a-long, led by the skilled Friends of Oasis (chaplains), Bruce and Vicki Northey.  (He is a two time cancer overcomer, thanks to Oasis.  My initial thought (I am embarrassed to admit) was, that a sing-a-long sounds a bit...well...hokey?...like something I am going to skip. 

However, the sing-a-long began before we could leave the cafeteria, thus we were trapped.  It proved to be fabulous!  Over the years, patients have taken well known tunes and re-written the lyrics, including all the "in words" that apply to a cancer hospital.  For example "laetrile" showed up in many songs. 

But most of the re-written lyrics were about hope...and faith...and love.  As we sang, it was impressive to me how truly moving the experience was.  Here were a group of Stage 3 and Stage 4 cancer patients – from Mexico, US, Canada, Australia, Italy, etc – all quite bonded by a profoundly common experience. 

In time the songs went from hilarious to deeply spiritual.  It was interesting for me to look across the room at two ladies who have become good friends, both from the East Coast, both Jewish, both joining in and singing songs about Jesus’ healing grace.  And they were enjoying themselves.

Someone requested "Because He Lives."  Another one "It Is No Secret."  I am not sure why, but at this point, I teared up.  I could not sing.  It was one of those moments. Tender.  Special.

Here we were, a group of people with bodies that showed the marks of devastation, along with their occasionally frightened companions. 

Some had their "IV stands" with them, IV bottles dripping fluid into their "ports." 

Some were only college age.  Others were nearing eighty.  So we covered the entire age spectrum. 

Some from Italy barely spoke English.  Some from Mexico likewise spoke little or no English.  Those from the East Coast had that distinct accent.  Some from Tupelo, Mississippi also had that distinct southern sound. 

And here we were – all strangers.  Strangers except for one thing.  Cancer – or rather the will to combat cancer – had made us friends.  It was quite a moment!

We are doing great here in Tijuana.  We come home late Friday.  Adios!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 10 pm

Day 3 at Oasis of Hope Hospital in Tijuana has been great. Carol is doing so well. It is a delight to see her receive treatment, but remain so strong.

One new piece of information today. The three top Oasis of Hope doctors came to see her. One was Dr. Francisco Conteras, the owner of the hospital. Another was Dr. Lagos, who has been with Oasis for decades. He has seen thousands of cancer patients over the years. As we talked, the issue of her single tumor recurring in "non-peritoneal fashion" came up. As we have stated before, this type of cancer should have come back highly diffused and numerous in scope, rather than as one tumor.

The physcians here mentioned one potential (a possibility, not necessarily a probability) that we had not heard before. There is a possibility (admittedly slim) that the existent tumor is NOT a "recurrent" one. Rather, there is a possibility that her single tumor is simply "left over" so to speak from her original bout with cancer. Cancerous cells can (in layman's terms) "hide."

Why is this point significant? If...if...if the single tumor was, in fact, left over from the 2007 diagnosis, then that MIGHT mean that this tumor is NOT a recurrence at all! If that is the case, that would be very good news. I need to hasten to add the doctors are not saying this with any certainty. But even having this as a possiblity is encouraging to us.

Her type of cancer is so very rare. They told us that in 45 years of cancer research here at Oasis, they have seen Primary Peritoneal Cancer only five times. That is effectively only once every decade. That is one of the reasons there is no medical research that applies to Carol. Secondly, the fact that this "recurrence" was a single tumor further conflicts with standard medical literature.

Bottom line: we think she is continuing to "experience the miracle." Yet she needs prayer. We remain very encouraged. Our time here at Oasis will end on Friday. We will come home then. Having been here, her body should now be able to tolerate the radiation and chemo considerably better.

Thank you so much for praying for her. Adios from Tijuana!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 5 pm

Carol and I arrived in Tijuana, BC, Mexico at the wonderful Oasis of Hope Hospital at 7:30 pm Sunday evening. Carol began her treatments here on Monday, but it was a "light" day.

Carol's only regret about being here right now is that she missed the grand opening of San Diego's first "Sonic Drive-In." Carol LOVES Sonic. She has contacted – and I am dead serious about this – one of the top guys at the Sonic headquarters, trying to get them to locate here! She flips out over their Cherry Limeaide, and would drive an hour to get one! Pray for this lady!

Apparently I was tired on Monday. After breakfast, I fell asleep and slept the entire day till 5 pm!! All hospital rooms are designed for couples, as part of their therapy is that a companion is to be with the patient, encouraging the patient. Thus there is plenty of room. The rooms are complete with a full sized companion's bed next to the hospital bed. So Monday was my official Mexican siesta day!

I am still on crutches (due to my "Good Samaritan accident" [attempting to push a stranger's car UP a hill]), but I sure hope to be off of them soon as it has been 2 1/2 weeks now. I don't want to preach the Easter messages from a wheelchair. Just doesn't sound cool!?!?

Today Carol met with another doctor, and her treatments have been stepped up. If you want to see what her treatments include, see www.oasisofhope.com and click on IRT-C. That is her protocol. Also, you can download a free book on it, called Hope, at that site.

This is Carol's 8th trip here, and her 4th time to stay a period of time. As of Friday she will have stayed here 5 weeks. What is great about this time here, is that she is not so very sick. Last time, she was in such misery from the complications of the June 07 surgery and her response to the chemo. In this visit, she is well, bright and cheery. Previously when we would go to the cafeteria, she would sit slumped, head down, not talking, unable to eat much. Now she is alert, visiting, and enjoying the amazing and endless ways that organic vegetables and fruit can be fixed and eaten.

This trip here is designed to reduce the toxicity of the upcoming chemo and to enhance its effectiveness. That is the purpose of the IRT-C protocol.

We will return home Friday. Carol's radiation will begin shortly thereafter, followed by the chemo, which should end by October.

We are meeting people here from all over the US and from other countries, all with a harrowing cancer story to tell. Remember, all the patients here are either stage 3 or stage 4.

There are prayer teams that move throughout the hospital, along with nightly "Prayer & Share Times." Each Thursday, the cafeteria is decorated to reflect a different country. Friday nights are movie and (a special type of) popcorn. All patients must stay in street clothes and go to the cafeteria (if they are able) which is designated a "happy talk zone!" The employees here express such compassion. This feels – at times – like a touch of heaven.

Although we know Carol's "war on cancer" may be long, and there are many battles to be fought (we are not in denial), last week was most significant. Because of your prayers, three very profound (and needed) battles were won. This moves us closer to a long term victory.

We are SO APPRECIATIVE of your prayers! So VERY appreciative. Prayers DO make a difference. They made all the difference in our one "Monday miracle" and our two "Friday miracles!" What a week last week was!

Blessings on you all. Adios from Tijuana!

Saturday, April 4, 2009, 3 pm

Friday was two giant steps forward, but – regretfully – the day closed with one significant step backward.

The “margins” report came back positive. That is bad. This means that as the one cancerous tumor was being removed, the incisions around it were not beyond the scope of the disease as thought. We have the best and most highly respected surgeon. The nodule appeared to be only 2 cm by 1 cm. He cut almost 5cm out. Thus he felt he was well outside of any cancerous area. But that proved not to be the case.

Here is the irony:

Everyone was convinced that the abdominal saline washings would come back from the lab as cancerous. They did not!

Everyone was convinced that the second tumor would be cancerous. It was not!

Everyone was convinced that the “margins report” would be negative, that is, no cancer outside the excised area. However, this was not the case.

Two wonderful “wins!” One disappointing and surprising “loss!” After the glorious celebration during the day, it ended with Carol receiving the Friday eve 6:30 pm call. (I felt badly. I was speaking in the northern part of the county – Rancho Santa Fe – and was gone, not getting home till 11:30pm.) It was a hard evening for Carol.

What does this mean? We had been in high hopes that the Friday morning reports might mean that she would not have to – at least at this time – go through the procedures at Oasis, followed by radiation and chemo here in San Diego. But she will need to do all three.

We were disappointed last night. But we are better today. Disappointed – but not at all discouraged. We are in it for the long haul. And we are in it to win.

Friday, April 3, 2009, 12 pm

Huge news!

We just received a call from Carol’s doctor.  The saline abdominal washings (which I refer to in the previous blog posting) came back negative.  This is WONDERFUL NEWS!   Everyone fully expected these to be positive.  The physicians are stunned.  The cancer (Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma) has been blocked – by prayer – from behaving the way it always behaves!

I asked the doctor, “How could this be?”  He said, “I don’t know.”

And like the late night TV commercial, I say, “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!”

Another miracle!

Again – to everyone’s shock – the pathology on the second tumor came back negative.  It was a benign node!  No one expected this.  I had asked one of the doctors a few days ago, “Is there any chance that second one could be benign?”  He responded, “No, there is no chance, because that surgeon KNOWS what cancer looks like.”  (And he does.  He is regarded as one of the finest in our county!)

This is a blessing beyond words.

Again, to quote the late night TV commercial once more, “BUT WAIT, THERE IS EVEN MORE!”

Although we have no final word on the “margins” (see the posting from Wednesday) the surgeon said, “Those are most assuredly going to come back fine!  The tumor was only 2 cm in size and I cut out 5 cm total, so the margins will be fine!”

I cannot express how overjoyed we are!

Prior to Monday, all medical literature and the best doctors (and they are great doctors!) shared one common report, based on how Primary Peritoneal Cancer always functions.  The report was a very limited time of survivability for Carol (again, see the previous posting).  But that “death sentence” has been lifted. 

You spoke “life” over Carol.  You spoke it aloud!  You spoke it repeatedly.  You spoke it audibly.  And “life” it is!

I said last week, “We need a miracle!”  You believed me.  You prayed.  You REALLY prayed.  And we have a miracle.  Knowing the quality and brilliance of our doctors, and knowing the medical studies as I now do, I will forever believe that prayer flushed cancer right out of her body.

Praise God!

Thank you for standing with us in our hour of deep need.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009, 10 pm

WARNING: This post is long. Just read the sections that are of interest. No one has time to read the entire post! This is a large “data dump” designed to answer questions that anyone might have. Skip to the section or sections that you care about.

EXPLANATION REGARDING THIS POST

When I began blogging Carol’s journey in June of 2007, I did it just to inform our friends of info because I could no longer return emails or phone calls.

What we discovered later (we did not know at the time) is that the blog became a source of hope for hundreds of other cancer patients around the country. That was a wonderful serendipitous result.

Third, we discovered much later that my personal “digging” and studying to understand cancer became a source to many who were on the same journey. (I acknowledge I know very little about cancer! Very little! But I am so glad my postings offered at least some insights to fellow strugglers).

So it is with those three goals in mind that we post this exceptionally long blog.

There is much new information to share, including the need for “two more miracles.” I’ll use sub-headings this time, in all caps, so you can chose what you want to read, and what you might want to skip over.

APRIL FOOLS DAY

I fell victim to two superbly done April’s Fools Jokes today, but I promise to not have any spurious info in this post. One of the jokes was my being informed that my wonderful Administrative Assistant – Tracy Burger – was now pregnant, and that she and her husband were leaving to move back to Indiana. As it turns out, she is not pregnant, and they are not moving. But I bit.

Before that, I receive a “panic-ed,” “we-gotta-do-damage-control” phone call, indicating that a high profile, high visibility California Prop 8 supporter-leader had just “come out of the closet” in the New York Times. Punked, again!

REJOICING

We are still rejoicing over the “Monday Miracle”(March 30). Both oncologists again today said “this (only two tumors) is not what we expected.” One said, “the disease did not respond in normal ‘Peritoneal fashion.’ It came in ‘isolated fashion.’” Carol’s case is now so unique that one of the oncologists told us that there is no medical studies by which we can be fully guided, in that there is no case quite like hers. (More on that below)

STATS vs. THE “PRAYER DODGE”

I can be more open now regarding what the stats were. I emphasize “were,” not “are.”

I alluded to this in public statements at Skyline Church and in the posts, without actually saying it. Based on the best clinical trials that we had (prior to Carol’s surgery Monday), not one of the 356 ladies in the trial lived past 42 months. The average lifespan (with the best results) was 20.2 months. The average (in the best study) allowed for “progression-free survivability” (that means, no recurrent cancer) for only 8.6 months. And those were the best results!

That is why I said “we need a miracle!” And we got one in the discovery from Monday’s surgery!

I refer to this as the “prayer dodge.” Carol, through prayer, “dodged a bullet!”

And YOU were an important part of that “dodge!” Praise God for you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I will forever believe that you – via prayer – changed reality within her body!

Here is the reality: the stats from the above medical study do not apply to her now. They did. But now they don’t. As stated, because the cancer was not classic “peritoneal fashion” (many small diffused tumors), we are on new (untested) ground.

Since there are so few cases of this type of cancer (our primary care physician and my brother – a radiologist – have neither one ever seen a case), and since Carol is a “recurrent, platin-sensitive Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma,” (that is her new working medical title), and since her recurrence was isolated in recurrence (as opposed to diffused), and since she had de-bulking (surgery) to remove the tumors, there are simply no exact clinical trials with which to compare her at this point.

(However, there is the Word of God and his promises regarding healing!)

TIME FOR HUMOR: THE 4 C’S

We laughed hard last night. All four of us in our home are having health challenges:

· Josie missed school due to severe cough / cold.

· Carol with her more serious and better known cancer challenge.

· Jake is on crutches due to a wrestling injury. He had fluid drained off his knee. They say it is the largest amount (160 cc) they have ever drained from a knee.

· And I am still on my crutches due to my “Good Samaritan accident” (helping a stranded, unknown motorist try to push his car uphill at the midnight hour, March 21)

We call ourselves “The 4 C’s” (cold, cancer, crutches & crutches!)

TIME FOR HUMOR, PART TWO: A REAL MAN

As Carol and I prepared to leave the hospital yesterday (after Carol’s Monday surgery and overnight stay), I realized that my torn calf muscle was causing greater pain and had swelled noticeably. Thus the nurse said she would put me in a wheelchair and push me to my car (4th floor of parking garage) so I would not have to hobble so far. After low-grade resisting on my part, I agreed.

I sat in the wheelchair and away we went. The problem? Sharp-Mary Birch is a woman’s hospital. And here I was – as a male – being pushed around in a wheelchair by a nurse, in an all women’s hospital. You should have seen the looks I got. Smirks, in fact. Especially from other workers! Some guys prove they are “real men” by jumping out of airplanes, bungee jumping or wrestling alligators.  Not me.  I prove I am a “real man” by being so secure that I can be wheeled through an all-womens’ hospital, appearing to be a patient.  Try that one, fellas!

ONE MORE MIRACLE NEEDED

During Carol’s surgery on Monday, Dr. Bahador did an abdominal “washing” with saline. The fluid was inserted, then “sloshed” around in an attempt to detect unseeable cancerous activity. This fluid was then sent to a lab for pathological analysis to see if there are free floating cancerous cells that are detectable. We will get a report back on this on Friday. Miracle needed again!

I asked, “If the reports come back ‘negative’ (that means good), then does that mean she has ‘zero cancer’ or only ‘zero discernable cancer.’” The oncologist stated, “The latter.” But it would still be a great victory.

AND ANOTHER ONE

In addition, there is a “margins” test to come back. This tests the exterior edges of the two removed tumors, determining if the knife went through cancerous material, or through non-cancerous material. The significance of this? If the exterior edges of the tumor are non-cancerous, that will indicate that no cancerous cells were left behind. If the exterior edges are cancerous, then that means that cancer cells were left in her body.

If the latter is the case, then she will need to have radiation therapy. This will take place daily for 14 days, with little likely side effects except some possible reddening of the skin.

Radiation oncology lines up “beams” from ten (or so) different angles, so that the confluence (crossing) of the beams is right at the point of the removed tumor area. The way they know where the tumor was is that Titanium clips have been left in place, marking the spot.

FINALLY A THIRD MIRACLE NEEDED

We knew Carol had one tumor (2 c x 1 c), according to the MRI. The gynecological-oncological surgeon expected to find (as we noted above) many, many more. He was surprised to find only one other tumor (about half the size as the above mentioned tumor) there. We will have the lab results from this second tumor back on Friday as well. It would be so cool to have a report that this second tumor was non-cancerous.

So, we are asking for three more miracles! A big deal to us. Not a big deal to God!

TREATMENT

Depending on the lab findings regarding

· The saline fluid from the abdomen

· The “margin” or exterior cuttings on the two tumor

that will determine our course of action.

There are four options for Carol’s treatment at this time:

1. Do nothing at this time, but continue monitoring carefully by CA-125 markers and MRI.

2. Chemotherapy only, if the “margin” reports are fine. This would likely occur even if the saline abdominal fluid results are negative (good), because there was at least one (maybe two) active tumors growing.

3. Radiation therapy only, if the saline fluid results are fine, but the margin lab reports are not good. This option is unlikely as it does not address the fact that one or two tumors did grow, after the last round of chemo.

4. BOTH Radiation AND chemotherapy if the saline fluid AND the margin lab reports are not good.

CHEMOTHERAPY

It seems that the chemotherapy will most definitely be used. The question is “when” and precisely “for what focused benefit.” This is being sorted out – carefully.

We had earlier thought that her chemo rounds would be reduced from six to three, as told to us Monday and reported to you in the Monday post. We learned today that there is a stronger chance that she will have four to six rounds, depending on her body’s ability to tolerate the chemo.

Due to the fact that there are many adhesions (scar tissue) from the previous surgery (June 07), they cannot due IP (intra-peritoneal – or “abdomen only”) chemo application, via a “port.” The adhesions cause the IP application of chemo to not equally distribute throughout the abdomen. Instead it will be IV (intravenous). Had it been IP, the recipe would have been Gemcitibine and Cisplantin. With the IV application, the recipe changes to Gemcitibine and Carboplatin. The good news, she will not be on Taxol, thus will likely not lose her hair.

TEAM & STYLE OF TREATMENT

Dr. Afshin Bahador (gynecological-oncological surgeon) and Dr. Andrew Hampshire (oncologist) are both aggressive in their treatment styles. They are “realistic optimists” or “optimistic realists.” Succinctly said, we like the way their minds – and hearts – function!

Carol and I are aggressive in living life, and want the same in our treatment of cancer. Thus the Bahador-Hampshire team is a perfect fit for us. We have enormous respect for them.

In addition, we just love being with them! (Now, I don’t mean that we love being with them so much we want any disease to continue! We don’t love being together that much!)

In addition, we are very close to Dr. Bahador’s wife, Dr. Shadi Omidi, who is Carol’s gynecologist. She was able to join her husband during the surgery on Carol on Monday.

And there is the Oasis team. Some of our US/stateside team have met our Tijuana team. That is neat as well. Francisco Contreras and Daniel Ernesto Kennedy (Contreras) are gentle, caring, thoughtful and brilliant!

Add to this our loving and compassionate LA area “team member,” Dr. Timothy Yeh, and we are “well rounded” (eclectic?) to say the least.

All of this is to say, God gave us a wonderful team for which we thank him daily!

CURRENT GAME PLAN

At this time, the “game plan” is as follows.

A. Healing

Get Carol healed from the laparoscopy. One might think “well, there was no incision, so what healing is needed?” Be assured, there is plenty.

First, there are four significant “holes” to heal. There was much equipment working inside Carol.

Second, there were resections (tumors) made, thus healing is needed.

Third, there is the bodily response to the various injections made in order to function laparoscopically.

B. Oasis of Hope

For those of you who like the “techy stuff,” here is Carol’s five day protocol there in Tijuana, BC, Mexico:

Tumoral Cytotoxic Therapy

· 5 Infusions of Kemdalin (Amygdalin)

· 8 Infusions of Mega doses (30 gr) of Vitamin C

· 2 Infusions of Perftec 200 ml (Oxygen carrier)

Oxidative Pre-Conditioning and Immune Therapy

· Daily Mega doses of Melatonin supplementation

· 5 Sessions of Ozone-AHT

· 5 Sessions of UV light Blood Irradiation

Nutraceutical/Pharmaceutical Adjuvant Measures

You can download the entire IRT-C protocol, or a book outline the Oasis strategy for cancer treatment entitled HOPE, in Medicine & Healing, at www.oasisofhope.com.

Why go to Oasis? It strengthens the body. It assists her immune system which is so very critical in fighting cancer. It helps reduce the toxic impact of chemo. We are in hopes the Oasis of Hope protocol – known as IRT-C – will reduce the neurotoxicity that manifests in neuropathy.

C. Possible Radiation

We don’t expect the “margins” lab report to be “positive” (that is bad), but in case it is, radiation therapy would begin approximately April 20, occurring daily for two weeks.

D. Chemotherapy

If Carol does step “C,” then chemotherapy would begin approximately May 4. If step “C” is skipped, as we expect, then chemotherapy would begin approximately April 20. (Why is this date important? The beginning date will allow Carol to fly to Dallas to be with her father for his birthday. We feel this too is another part of the healing strategy.)

Chemo, as stated earlier, would likely be six rounds of three weeks each, assuming her body will tolerate it. In the event she cannot tolerate the full six rounds, it is possible that four rounds will be administered. Thus she would be done by October, in plenty of time to regain strength for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We do believe that this season of chemo will not be nearly as impactful to her system as last time, due to the GI track difficulties she was encountering from the extensive surgery in 2007.

E. Health and Long Life!

EL FIN

Finally we end this “book.” If you made it all the way to the end, you deserve a Hershey’s bar. Oops! Change that to fruits and vegetables.

And from my heart: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for walking with us. We are so mindful that there are so many others with so many challenges, pains, hurts, diseases and problems. We are only one. But we are so grateful for your prayers! More than you could possibly know.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 2:30 pm

Carol had a great night last night. She is making very positive progress. They got her up at 5 am for her to walk a little bit and multiple times since. She is now up and around a little bit.

We continue to praise the Lord for the “Monday miracle.” It is still astounding to us that in spite of all the medical literature and expectations, there were only two visible tumors. This is such a significant breakthrough for Carol. Although this is a long war, she has overcome one significant battle for this time. The very fact that her chemo has been reduced from 6 rounds to 3 rounds means that she will be able to enjoy much more of this summer than we ever expected.

She seems to be getting around so well that they expect her to go home sometime this evening. We don’t know when yet.

On a somewhat humorous note, I am not much help to her. I am still on crutches and was in a fair amount of discomfort yesterday and last night. I stayed overnight in her hospital room, sleeping in a recliner chair, but my torn calf muscle was sore enough (I forgot to bring any pain medication) that when nurses would come to check on her, they would also replace ice packs on my leg. It became a joke that there were two patients in Carol’s room.

As one of the nurses went to leave the room last night, she turned to both of us and said, “Do you need anything else?” I responded, “I would like some nice brownies” (a lady from the church brought some brownies to our home on Monday morning, but they were at the house and not at the hospital, so I was salivating all day thinking about those brownies.) To my shock, the nurse said, “I would be glad to bring you some brownies.” When I said, “What, you are going to bring me brownies?” she responded, “Yes, today is the 16th anniversary of this hospital and so they provided brownies for all the nurses.” And she actually brought me brownies! I decided I like being the “second patient” in Carol’s room and as long as they keep bringing the brownies, I might just stay here.

On a much more serious note, we say an enormous thank you for your prayers. We believe firmly that your prayers are why this disease was unable to function in its normal pattern. The experts have consistently described Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma as being “like throwing sand on the floor.” By that they mean that there are hundreds of tiny tumors.

Obviously, that did not apply this time and I believe the reason is because of extensive prayers. It does not appear normal for the disease to be in the condition that it is in. We are praising God. We are so grateful for you standing with us during this time.

Monday, March 30, 2009 5 pm

I have very good news! Very good news! Very good news!

First, the doctor only found two very small tumors. He expected to find many more. There were only the one we knew about and one other that we did not know about located right next to it. He was extremely pleased. He excised both of them.

Second, he did not have to make the massive vertical incision on her abdomen. He was able to do it laprascopically. This is amazing! This means she can come home from the hospital tomorrow and not have weeks of recovery from the incision.

Third, he put metal clips around the area where he excised, so they are going to give her localized radiation. This is a new wrinkle in the whole protocol procedure. What that means is that the amount of her chemo will likely be able to be reduced from 6 rounds of chemo down to 3 rounds of chemo.

We are absolutely rejoicing as a family here in the recovery room! In addition to Dr. Afshin Bahador operating on Carol, he was joined by his wife, Dr. Shadi Omidi, who is Carol’s doctor as well. The two of them are a team that we have absolutely fallen in love with. We are so grateful for their role in our lives.

I cannot express what it has meant to me to be surrounded by the prayers of all of you. You have encouraged us so much and we really saw God at work this day. The doctor fully expected to see so many more tumors, which is the way primary peritoneal carcinoma functions. Both he and his wife were so surprised to see only these two. And to add “frosting on the cake” Carol did not even have to have an incision.

An enormous heartfelt thanks to all of you for praying for her. She will be going through chemo and radiation treatment, but it will be considerably less traumatic than the schedule that was previously being arranged.

Once again thank you. We love you all!

Monday, March 30, 2009, 3:30 pm

Carol went into surgery at 2:20 pm. We expect to hear from the doctor around 5 pm.

Saturday, March 28, 2009, 10 pm

Yesterday Carol and I met with Dr. Bahador, the surgeon, to cover many details. After that, she went through more procedures and was “pre-admitted.”

The surgery is set for Monday, March 30 at 2 pm. When I look back at this month, it has been an enormous jolt: the 10th, the 20th and now the 30th. March 10 is when we were told the MRI revealed something. March 20 was when we were told it was cancerous. March 30 is, as we stated, the surgery.

The surgeon will go in laparoscopicly first to see if there are more tumors that are under the 5mm, thus undetected by the MRI. The nature of Primary Peritoneal Cancer is that it usually consists of many tumors. Obviously we are praying there is only one.

After “touring” the abdominal area with a scope, he will decide if he will make the incision or not. If there is only one tumor AND if he could excise it without creating problems, that is what he would do.

Even if there are many other tumors, he might still not resect them, preferring to let the chemo kill those cells.

Bottom line: at this point, we do not know what to expect. It all depends on what he finds.

If he makes an incision, it will follow the long vertical one that he used in June of 2007. He believes that Carol would be in the hospital approximately four days. This would be considerably better than the three weeks she was in during June-July 2007.

When she gets out of the hospital, and gains a little strength, she will go to Oasis of Hope Hospital in Tijuana for six days of cancer protocol, quite similar to what she experienced before. In August 2007, stateside medical personnel strongly urged her NOT to go there. Now with their experience of Oasis, they are strongly encouraging her TO go. In fact, one medical person believes that it is because of Oasis that she had 15 months of remission, longer than she would have.

After she is in the six day regimen in Mexico, Carol will come back to the US where she will begin immediately to receive chemo. There is much discussion whether it will be IV or IP. (I’ll explain more about that in a later post.)

The recipe will likely be Carboplatin and Gemcitibine, or Cisplatin and Gemcitibine. She will not be on Taxil this time, as it produced such discomfort in the form of neuropathy. Since she is not on the Taxil, Carol will likely not lose her hair this time as well.

I will share more on the techy stuff later. But I now shift to the emotional side.

We want to avoid two ditches: denial on one side sprinkled over with a type of dishonest pseudo-faith…and obsession with morbidity on the other. We are trying to walk a narrow and slippery highway: honestly assessing the challenges, while living in confidence that Carol’s miracle is on the way. THAT is where we are living.

I have discovered that it is easier to believe for a miracle for someone else, than it is when you are immersed in the medical literature and the protocol technicalities on behalf of a loved one.

Allow me to state again what I have said before. As much as I hate to write these words, Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma is lethal. We have known this. The studies are most painful to read. Medical science rejoices when they add “two months” to a life, after their exhaustive studies and experimentation. I did not say “two years.” I said “two months.” I know. I have been reading the reports.

Yet you and I really know that totally inexplicable miracles occur every day – somewhere. People stand back and look and say, “What happened? How could this be? How could this happen?”

And that is exactly what we are needing with Carol. We are needig a medical miracle. We need a breakthrough. Thank you for standing with her – for exactly that!

Jake and Josie handle it well, much of the time. But at times, the strain on them shows through. Only moments ago, Jake came to my desk in my study, stood here for a long time in silence, and then – barely above a whisper – asked, “What are the chances…” He did not finish the sentence for some time. I let him stand and stare for awhile. And then we talked.

Sometimes I am overflowing with faith. Sometimes, I am...here it is…scared.

I cannot imagine all Carol is experiencing. I asked her if she wants to see the medical studies or not. She says “yes.” So she heard all of my questions to the surgeon, as we cited the various experimental studies. I felt sorry that she was even hearing the conversation. Yet, that is part of our agreement: to understand the nature of the challenge.

I hold her more often. I say “I love you much more.” And sometimes, when she does not know it, I stand and just look at her.

We press forward, thankful you are with us. We are attempting to live very much in the present, enjoying THIS moment.

Friday, March 20, 2009, 3 pm

We did not get good news re: Carol today.  I am going to write this short note first.  Later in the day, I will try to post a more detailed, technical note as an update on Carol.

Candidly, it feels so surreal that we are blogging about cancer again.  It seems so recent that we came out of the last episode.

The biopsy indicated that the tumor is cancer.  We are waiting for a call from Dr. Bahador’s office now for surgery.  They will open her up the same way, literally following the long vertical incision mark that runs the full length of her abdomen.  We do not know when surgery will be, but presumably in one to three weeks. 

Approximately three or four weeks after surgery, chemo will begin.  Chemo will follow a regimen of two weeks “on,” one week off.  There will be six rounds, or 4 ½ months, meaning we should be through this by Oct 1, and then Carol can begin to gain strength again.

The more difficult news is that statistically speaking, there is a 100% chance it will come back – sooner the next time.  This time there were 15 months between end of chemo and recurrence.  The doctors states it could drop down to perhaps nine months this next time.  He stated that at some point, the quality of life dictates that no more surgery / chemo be done.  This was a challenging day. 

The key: God can still do the inexplicable.  I looked at Carol’s oncologist, Andrew Hampshire, whom we really respect and trust, and said, “then I guess we really do need a miracle.”  He responded, “yes we do.”  And we do.

We then talked to Dr. Francisco Contreras of Oasis of Hope in Tijuana, BC, Mexico.  After the surgery, we will be talking to them regarding some new treatment that has been used extensively in Germany.

You are so wonderful as a church family.  We have such deep love for you.  And we have experienced your love.

Carol is strong, though experiences intermediate times of tears and crying.  We are a bit shaken as a family, but we are pressing forward to win!  We are most certainly NOT giving up – at all.  Our mantra is “we will win.  This is winnable!  We are going to make it.”  And we will.

Your prayers are so appreciated.

Monday, March 16, 2009, 6 pm

We have both good news and difficult news to share regarding Carol. The good news is that she was selected by Joel Anderson, Assemblyman of the 77th district (includes portions of San Diego) as Woman of the Year. Each state senator and assemblymember is allowed to select one person from their district for this honor.

Carol was presented her award at the State Capitol on Monday, March 16, in a special 90 minute awards ceremony. The two speakers at the ceremony were Hilda Solis, newly appointed US Secretary of Labor, and Patti Garamendi, wife of John Garamendi, Lieutenant Governor of California. Following the 90 minute ceremony, a reception was held in honor of the recipients of the Woman of the Year Award.

Now for a little bit more difficult news. Last Tuesday, March 10, we discovered that Carol’s cancer markers (CA-125) had climbed. Even though they were well within the range, they indicated a potential problem. An MRI revealed a new tumorous growth directly behind her left kidney. The oncologist believes this is a reoccurrence of primary peritoneal carcinoma. We knew that in the natural the statistics reveal that there is a 100% reoccurrence rate of this type of cancer, which is only experienced by about 1,400 people in the US each year. We were attempting to make it to the all-important 5 year mark. The date is calculated from the time of the diagnosis. Carol made it to the 20 month mark with no reoccurrence.

On Tuesday, March 16, Carol will have a CT guided needle biopsy, and then on Friday, March 20, we will be informed of the results. In the event that it comes back cancerous, it is presumed that they will need to reopen her on the same large abdominal incision that was used in June 07. If it comes back benign, they are informing us that, in and of itself, is not conclusive because it can mean that the needle actually missed the cancerous area. Therefore, they will probably have to go in laprascopically to examine.

When I pressed the doctor on whether the MRI finding was actually a cancerous tumor or possibly a benign fibrous cyst of some kind, he paused, looked at me, and said slowly, “I am a cancer doctor.  I am worried.”  It was then that the full force of this hit me. I felt deep grief and concern.

We ask your prayers that 1) this is benign or 2) if it was cancerous, by the power of prayer that the cancer be declared null and void and the malignancy be mitigated by the power of prayer.

Carol is extremely self conscious about having attention drawn to her. She does not relish attention and was very hesitant for us to talk openly about this. Now, we feel that trying to stay “under the radar” is not prudent. So we have chosen once again to be very transparent.

Emotionally we are doing good at times and other times we are very disappointed. Jacob looked at me a few days ago and said, “I’m scared.” Our feelings vacillate from moments of being faith-filled to moments echoing Jacob’s sentiments. We are so appreciative of your prayers, during this time.

4 MONTHS PASSED BETWEEN THE LAST BLOG (Nov 08) AND THE CONTINUTATION (March 09)

Thursday, Nov 6, 2008, 8 am

Carol is doing GREAT!! That is the best news we can bring.

Monday, Aug 25, 2008, 4 pm

Okay, I know it has been seven weeks since I have written anything. For the two of you who might still be readers, Carol is fine!

Since writing you, much has happened. All of it positive.

Here is an overview of the Garlow families’ activities. The fact that we can list many neat things is a testimony to God’s healing touch and your consistent prayers!

On July 11, Carol was informed that her cancer markers (CA125) were awesome. Anything under 30, and anything not "trending" is considered very good. When her oncologist called her to give her the report, he said, "whatever you are doing, keep doing it." A major part of her regimen is the 60 neutraceuticals a day, and her dietary habits.

On July 18, Carol, Jake and Josie flew to Texas (joined by Jim on July 20) to be with her parents in a Dallas suburb. It was so great being with Carol's parents, Carol's sister and family, seeing "Big D" and Ft Worth area again—including a drive by the massive new Dallas Cowboys Stadium—the largest in the NFL!

NOW FOR THE BIG NEWS: Carol is a celeb now! Well, sorta. She is doing interviews. She has done radio interviews—some of them for national networks. What is she asked about? Her cancer journey.

On Monday morning, July 21, Carol was interviewed on DayStar TV by Marcus and Joni Lamb, which airs nationally and in 200 countries. I was the "hood ornament," supporting her. (And I was interviewed on the next segment regarding CA's upcoming vote on the marriage amendment, Prop. 8.) Carol has done fabulous on the interviews. I am so proud of her!

On Wednesday, July 23 we flew to Wichita and drove to Salina, KS to be with my brother Bill and his family. We laughed hard, ate too much, and sped around the lake in Bill's boat, pulling wakeboarders. Thursday, July 24 included a trip to all the fields / farms where I used to plow as a kid, near Ames, KS (pop. 30).

A stroll up the streets of Concordia, KS caused me to meet Paul Rimosky (from whom I bought my first guitar as a high school kid) and Jim Douglass (my high school freshman English teacher).

Saturday and Sunday, July 26 & 27, I was privileged to speak in Hutchison, KS for my home church district—the Kansas District of the Wesleyan Church.

On Sunday evening, July 27, Carol (and all of us) got to visit her home farm. Her parents owned it until four years ago. It was a Centennial Farm, having been in the family for 100 years (actually 107 years). We arrived back in San Diego late Sunday night on July 27.

What is exciting is that Carol was able to physically handle all of this. That would have seemed impossible only a few months ago.

July 28 through Aug 1, Jake and Josie were at Skyline's High School Camp. Jim and Carol were on a honeymoon. Especially after Thursday, July 31. Keep reading.

Starting July 31, Carol and I stayed at the most beautiful resort in San Diego—Paradise Point—for four days as part of a highly informative cancer institute sponsored by the Oasis of Hope Hospital. The conference marked the 45th anniversary of Oasis' spectacular service to humanity. It was marked with lectures about the nature of cancer research (all of which were over my head—as I have never known much about molecular biology).

Carol and I had the privilege of sharing our journey at the Saturday evening banquet. The highlight for me was when she became one of three recipients of the VICTORY Award. We have it on our mantle—a symbol of the love of God as demonstrated through the people at Oasis.

On Sunday morning, Aug. 2, we had our worship service on the beach, with the sermon brought by Dr. Francisco Contreras. What a joy! Then—after church—all the doctors, cancer patients, primary caregivers—and everyone else—played a competitive round of miniature golf, raising funds for those who needed help in coming to Oasis.

Another highlight for Carol at the Oasis cancer institute was getting to see one of her US oncologists whom she did not expect to be there. It seems that Carol's progress has been so marked that he wanted to learn more of what Oasis is all about. It was a highlight for Carol to be with him. He has blessed us so very much.

Carol and I had a bungalow right on the water. We sat on our front patio, each of us reading our own copies of THE SHACK, an immensely popular book. Although some have criticized it, I loved it. I found it to be very defensible theologically and biblically. I recommend it. It is superbly written.

All of us have moments that are really super special—moments we want to hang on to forever! The time at Paradise Point was one of the happiest, most restful, most relaxing we have had in a very, very long time. It was four days from heaven.

August was supposed to have been a vacation. However, the thoughts of the possibilities of the failure of Prop. 8 passing in the November elections caused me to attempt to activate other pastors. Prop. 8 (marriage = one man/one woman) would restore to the people what four CA Supreme Court judges recently took from the people—that is, the proper, historic, biblical definition of marriage. Most people are unaware that when marriage is redefined, then pastors can be legally required to perform same sex "marriages."

Pastors in CA "get it." They see the handwriting on the wall. Thus, 3,400 pastors were on a conference call with me on July 30. We hope to attract 5,000 CA pastors to join the cause and stand up for Prop. 8. In addition to the massive conference calls, we are hosting three major satellite simulcasts, down-linking them to 500-600 church auditoriums, getting people activated for the Nov. 4 vote on Prop. 8.

We are in hopes of raising up thousands of volunteers to man phone banks in 1,000 churches, and to raise up 64,000 persons to walk door to door, to get out the vote to pass Prop. 8.

This campaign is cradled in prayer. A 100 day prayer time began July 28. A statewide 40 day fast begins Sept. 24, culminating with 70,000 persons at TheCall in Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego. We are working vigorously hard to see Prop. 8 pass, and we long for deep spiritual renewal in our state. Chuck Colson calls the CA Marriage vote the "spiritual Armageddon of our day." He is right.

Having said that, the dream of an August vacation, and the plans to get a book written, vanished. To help on my book, THE AFTERLIFE: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE (deadline Oct 1!) I have had to hire researchers and writers to help me.

Warning! Warning! Josie has her driving permit. Dad and daughter had a date to the DMV. She came home with a permit. Warning! Warning! She is driving. Carol handles it well. I handle it well when I am riding with Josie on surface streets. The freeway? Well—that is a different matter. Josie does well. But I am not doing so well.

Warning! Warning! Jake just passed his DMV written test today, and will be behind the wheel, on the streets, for the first time, Sept 12! You had fair warning.

Shadow—our family dog for a decade—died of cancer on April 11. Our good friend, Veterinarian Jim Clarke, who picked out Shadow for us at the Humane Society, went with us on Friday, Aug 15 to pick our new dog. She is a black Lab. Her name was Honey. I refused to allow Jacob to keep that name as I could just hear the gossip begin when I would run down the street at 10 pm at night—after the dog had gotten out—yelling "Honey, come home! Honey, please come home!" So he changed the name of the dog to "Wife!"

Okay—kidding on that part. He changed the name to Roxy. We have had Roxy for 8 days. Jake has not slept in the house in 8 nights. He has camped out with his new friend—every night.

I am still on vacation at Skyline Church. So on Sunday I preached at my son in law's church—"SevenSanDiego," a church Jeremy and Janie McGarity founded a year ago. It is a privilege to get to preach at your son in law and daughter's church. How many people get to do that?

Josie is—well—sort of—dating. With permission from dad, "group events" are allowed, generally with dad nearby. So dad had the "father talk" with the lucky guy.

The purpose of such talks is to scare the guy away. It did not work. We became friends.

Josie had seemed to like another boy about 6 months ago and insisted I have the "father talk" with him. I invested almost two hours (I am thorough!) in the talk. Their relationship lasted slightly less than two hours! Thus I was not enthused to invest time in the "father talk." But this relationship has lasted two weeks so far. That is about 1,000 times longer than the last one.

Carol is obsessed with watching the Olympics. She cannot bear the thought of any event occurring without her watching it. How many times does a person need to watch Michael Phelps get the gold! She loves it.

We both love politics. So we loved it when we went to an event with John and Cindy McCain in Newport Beach last Saturday, Aug 16. And I had a ticket to the Saddleback Civil Forum. Carol did not. I encouraged her to go with me—in hopes that we could miraculously get her a ticket. And sure enough. God was very good. By 10 am Saturday, she had one. Little did we know it would be on the second row, only 10 feet from Cindy McCain. I was on row 20. Being a gentleman, I offered to switch. She smugly and politely refused. The Forum was awesome to experience. It was a highlight for Carol and me.

We are eager to watch the Democrat and Republican Conventions. I look forward to that so very much. And Carol enjoys it almost as much as I do. The opening night of the Democrat Convention, we went to the beach condo to watch it there. We have not been able to stay in our beloved condo, as it has been rented out all of the time. But it is open right now, so we went there for a few joyous hours.

Well, that is the update from the Garlows. Carol will have an MRI and blood work done again September 22. This will be one more step in her lifelong journey of progress. We are praising God for every day. We have not forgotten—for one moment—where we were one year ago. We have not forgotten the fears, the exhaustion, the pain, the uncertainty. We have not forgotten—at all. Thus we praise God every day—for every day!

I will likely not write again until Carol has the MRI and CA125 reports back. Until then, thank you for caring so much that you would read this novel. Praise God for you! Praise God for His healing power.

Thursday, July 3, 2008, 6 pm

Greetings friends,

In a few hours, it will be the 4th of July. Every year, on the 4th of July, Carol climbs up the embankment in front of our house, picks some apples and makes apple pies. She LOVES doing it.

One year ago, our good friend Dennis Suchecki, knowing that Carol could not do her favorite “4th” activity, came over and picked the apples. My mother, with the help from my brother-in-law Keat Wade, baked apple pies.

When we brought the pies into Carol’s hospital room, she burst out crying—knowing what she was missing. For awhile, I felt like I had done a bad thing. But she quickly gathered her composure and realized that we were trying very hard to have some “normalcy” during this turbulent time.

With apple pie, plates, forks and napkins in hand, we cruised the 8th floor oncology/cancer wing of Sharp Memorial Hospital and served all the nurses, doctors and health professionals. They loved it!

This year…THIS year, it is different. Oh so different.

Carol, running one day ahead of schedule, climbed up the steep embankment, picked the apples and came triumphantly inside!

THIS is a new day. THIS is 2008. The 4th of July 2007 is very distant in the rear view mirror. PRAISE GOD!

Thank you, thank you for praying.

Monday, June 23, 2008, 11 pm

Carol and I went for a swim in the pool tonight.  Oh my—how thankful we are for life!  For LIFE!

One year ago, June 23 was a Saturday.  Carol and I, reliving each hour from one year ago, remember that Saturday morning so well.  She had been in the hospital since the previous Wednesday night, followed by numerous attempts to discover what the source and dimension of her cancer actually was. 

Dr. Bahador came in to her 8th floor oncology unit hospital room that morning and straightforwardly queried, "am I the first person to say the word 'cancer' to you?"  Quite a direct question, when you think about it!

"No," Carol responded with poise.

"Then why" he continued, "is your countenance so bright?"

She explained the love of God.  Responding to his question, she provided him with needed background, "my husband is a pastor.  I work with a prayer ministry.  We have prayed for many with cancer.  Some made it.  Some did not.  I know what I am facing."

Dr. Bahador (a Muslim) breathed a noticeable sigh of relief.  "Thank goodness, you are part of a faith community," he exclaimed.  His delight was obvious.  That moment, our hearts were bonded.

Then for one intense hour, he told us what was coming.  I took copious notes.  After 60 minutes, it appeared that he was leaving the room.  I started to ask more questions.  He wisely said "no, that is all for today.  If I am not careful, I will overwhelm you.  I will be back tomorrow and explain more."

"But doctor," I protested, "I must know one thing: how long before life can return to normal?" 

Candidly—knowing what I know now—using the term "normal" only demonstrated by naiveté.  After cancer (at least in advanced forms) "normal" never returns.  Or I should say, you establish a "new" normal.

He looked at me, paused, and then said, "I want you to plan on a Caribbean cruise in eight months!"  And with that he left.

We looked at each other and said, "we don't really want a Caribbean cruise.  We would just like to go to our condo in Pacific Beach (which WE LOVE!!), since Carol was, at that time, about 90% of the way through remodeling it.

But then we thought, and one of us said, "but we have always said we would someday go to the town of Cannes, France and stay in the Carlton Hotel!  Maybe we can do that!"

We had stayed in that town in 1985.  We had no money, so stayed in a horrible, fleabag motel.  We would walk by and through the majestic Carlton Hotel each day.  One day I turned to Carol and said, "someday I will bring you back to Cannes, and you will stay in the Carlton Hotel!"

That promise came back to me on that Saturday, June 23, 2007, caused by Dr. Bahador's word about "eight months" which seemed to hang there in the air.

You see, Dr. Bahador had done for us exactly what we needed.  His statements were not really about a Caribbean cruise.  They were really about hope!  He gave us hope!  We began to dream of making it through the next eight months.

Frankly, the next eight months were much worse than we expected.  But we did make it through.  I suspect I thought about his "eight months" timeline, and yes, even the cruise, thousands of times.

That is what hope does. 

Dr. Bahador (a gynecological oncologist) and his wife, Dr. Omidi (Carol's gynecologist—who was the first one who caused me to realize that "this REALLY is cancer"—on Wednesday, June 20, 2007, at 3:30 pm) will be with us in our worship services this weekend at Skyline Church.

In addition, Dr. Francisco Contreras, President of Oasis of Hope Hospital in Tijuana will be there, along with Daniel Kennedy, the CEO of the hospital who, when he heard my cry for help, said, "get your wife here, we will help her."

Also, Dr. Timothy Yeh, along with his wife, Dr. Pearl Yeh, the Natural Medicine physician who helped us through Carol's horrific experience leading up to Aug 18, 2007, will be in our services.

We will have the privilege of saying "thank you" in front of the congregation.  And we will have the privilege of entertaining them in our home.

We are so, so grateful.  So grateful.  Did I tell you we are grateful?

Sunday, June 22, 2008, 11 pm

One year ago today was one of my "lowest days," if not the lowest day.  I have referred to late Thurs., June 21, 2007 and Friday morning, June 22, 2007 as the “black days.” Thus I am really rejoicing this year!  On these dates in 2007, both the reality and the uncertainty of cancer was hitting hard.  The future looked bleak, very bleak. But that was then.  This is now.

On this Friday night, June 20, the one year anniversary of the diagnosis, Carol and I celebrated the grace of God and the support of friends by going out to dinner (something we rarely, rarely do, I am embarrassed to admit) and then to a play entitled "The Hit" at the "Lamb's Players Theatre" in beautiful Coronado Island.

The play was written by Skyliner Mike Buckley, who also stars as the lead actor.  He is known up and down the coast as an accomplished set designer, with his designing skills demonstrated in "The Hit" as well.  Ironically, the play was a romantic comedy about cancer.  Fortunately, we knew that before we went.  The first few moments were a bit too vivid for Carol.  However after the first 15 minutes, she was laughing uproariously at the creatively written plot, loaded with many unsuspected turns and twists.

Since Jake and Josie were with their big sister for the weekend, Carol and I enjoyed a quiet day on Saturday, experiencing what all our empty nest friends enjoy every day.  It was awesome!  Saturday night (after church services) we enjoyed a quiet evening in the pool and hot tub.

The one year celebration was joy filled!  We praise God for life and health!

And yes—in spite of enjoying a spectacular weekend sans kiddos, it was great to see them come home Sunday night. Now—back to reality. (For example, Jake’s summer school bus picks him up at 7:10 am every morning and Josie has to be in summer school at Valhalla High School a few minutes later!)

Thank you—for months of prayers for Carol.  THANK YOU!   We remain "grateful in San Diego."

June 19, 2008, 11:30 pm - one year ago now

Dear Church & Special Friends,

It all began—one year ago. On June 19, 2007 at 11:30pm Carol asked me to take her to the Emergency Room due to complications from minor surgery the day before. The next morning Carol learned at 6:45 am what I learned at 7:09 am. Cancer. Everything changed that moment.

But that was then. This is now. Much has been experienced. Wonderful doctors and nurses. A spectacular church. Tender friends. An exceptional family. A loving God.

All of these held us in a "hammock" and carried us through the following months. All of you.

I shall look at the clock at 7:09 am in the morning—June 20th. And I will think of you all. And I shall say, "thank you Jesus, for you...for them."

I could not let this night pass without saying—from the depths of our hearts—thank you!

Eternally grateful,

Jim Garlow (written for Carol too)

Saturday, June 14, 2008, 11:30 pm

I am so proud of Carol.  She made it through the Orlando trip with flying colors!  How we thank God!  How we thank you—for your prayers.

We (Jake & Josie were with us) were in Orlando for one week—from Thursday (June 5) to Thursday (June 12).  The first day there was spent at the Magic Kingdom of Disney World.  Carol and I had been there years ago, but Jake and Josie had not.  We had forgotten that Disney World (Magic Kingdom) is identical to Disney Land here in Southern California.  Had we recalled that, we would have spent our day at Disney Epcot instead.  But we did have a super day. 

Florida weather is much hotter than So. Cal. this time of year, but it was bearable. 

Carol had no crashes and caused no wrecks or fatalities from her electric cart driving as she zipped around Disney.  That, in itself, is reason for rejoicing!

It seemed unwise for Carol to go on the more difficult (jolting, shaking) rides, so she missed the classics like Space Mountain and Thunder Railroad.  But she did go on many rides.

We stayed at a spectacular new resort hotel—the Rosen Shingle Creek—for the week.  The General Conference of the Wesleyan Church (denomination) was there.  There were 400 elected delegates and another 1500 (approx.) persons attending, from all over the US and overseas as well.

The General Conference—held once every four years—is like a great family reunion.  We saw hundreds and hundreds of special friends.  What was so amazing to us is—they all had read the blog about Carol's condition, and they had prayed so much for Carol.  This was so humbling.  We were quite amazed at the comments.  We are spectacularly honored to be blessed with such friends—such brothers and sisters in Christ!  We are super grateful!

I spoke on Monday evening at the conference.  The rest of the time was in conference sessions.  Carol had to rest late each day.  But once up, she was very energetic.  It was awesome.  This is by far the most strength she has had in one year.

As we would visit with friends—sometimes near midnight—I could usually sense when Carol's strength was about to give out.  She does not give much warning.  But when it is gone, it IS gone!

So I would try to anticipate her strength level on my imaginary "dashboard indicators."  She really did well—in packing, flying, visiting, flying home, and even in unpacking and doing laundry.

In fact, on Friday, June 13 (our first day back home) she came into my study at 4 pm and said, "look what time it is.  I flew home, getting home late last night.  I have unpacked all suitcases, worked with the cleaning lady to clean the house, and done the laundry.  And I AM STILL UP AND GOING!" 

That truly is amazing.  Only a week or two ago, she could not have done that.

On another note, she was admittedly worn out today—but she is entitled to it.

On my accurate "Jim-O-Metric Meter," Carol's strength level is now at 85%.  I cannot tell you how thrilling that is!  Just think, a few months ago it was at 2%, and did not appear to be increasing—for a long time!

In addition, I would put her GI track functionabilty (a word I created) at 85% as well.  This is HUGE, HUGE progress.

Tomorrow, the family is coming over to eat and get in the pool in the backyard and celebrate Father's Day with me.  We are almost at the one year mark for Carol's diagnosis.  When I think back to one year ago, ...(no need to complete the sentence)...

We are so encouraged.  And we are grateful—for our heavenly Father, and for all of you!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 5 am

Carol continues to gain strength.  Her progress has not been as rapid as previously, but it is still occurring.

Memorial Day and the following two days were special for us.  We lived at the beach condo for those nights, commuting back for school, office, etc.  Memorial Day itself was spent at our favorite spot on the earth—Pacific Beach—laughing (and eating). 

Today Carol is involved in another major step: packing the family for a week long trip to Orlando.  This is a "first" again—for her.  Since she tires easily—requiring two to three hour naps—she is trying to pace herself for this.

Once every four years, our denomination (The Wesleyan Church) has what is called a General Conference.  Several thousand gather.  This time our conference is in Orlando.  We fly out tomorrow, and plan to visit Disney on Friday.  The conference begins on Saturday.  I speak on Monday night.

Carol's strength level (though improving greatly) does not permit travel and Disney days back to back, so we will need to rent an electric cart for her to get around Disney.  For those of you who recall last time we did that (Nashville—Gaylord Hotel), she drove too fast and crashed into the wall every time she entered an elevator. 

Each time the electric cart came in abrupt contact with a wall, she defended the action, saying the elevator doors were fast and thus she needed to drive fast into the elevator car, and thus the multiple crashes.  There is a word for this.  It is called "denial."

The problem is simple: she is an "electric cart speeder."  Furthermore, she is proud of it.  As she zips down hallways, etc. she has a smug smile on her face, fully knowing she is going too fast.  My admonishments are unheeded, as I run to keep up, panting between exhortations.  Awe, life is hard, isn't it?

Bottom line: Carol has reached a new level.  The capacity to pack the family for a week long trip is a wonderful step to take.  Or at least, we will know by tomorrow whether or not she has reached that ability.

She still has neuropathy—nerve damage to the feet and fingers.  However there is slight improvement.  She continues to faithfully take her 60 supplements a day, from Oasis of Hope Hospital.

We are nearing the one year mark.  Her initial diagnosis came in the early hours of June 20, 2007.  Her surgery was June 26.

On June 29, 2008, we are inviting Carol's physicians to be present in weekend services at Skyline so we may say "thank you" once again.  Many are on vacation.  But some can come.  Dr. Francisco Contreras will present a seminar on cancer treatment on Sunday evening June 29 at Skyline.

Thank you for praying.  Carol's CA125 markers continue to be monitored.  We press forward—cherishing each day.  Blessing on you all this day.

Sunday, May 18, 2008, 11 pm

This blog has continued now for nearly 11 months, but this is a first. I am now posting something that Carol just wrote, NOT something I wrote. She did not write this for the blog, but it was rather a personal email to a friend of hers. (In fact, she doesn't even know I am posting it.) When I saw her email note, I thought it would give you a better glimpse of her than anything I could write.

(A portion of Carol's email—written Sunday night, May 18)

I just arrived home a while ago from my grandson's (Jackson - Joshua & Lacy's youngest) two-year old birthday party... at a children's campground not more than 15 minutes from our house... east of us in the mountains. One person brought his horse to the party for the kids to have a horse ride.

To let you know how well I am progressing: the only way Jackson, the birthday boy, would ride is for Grandma to say, "Jackson, Grandma is going to ride the horse, do you want to ride with me?" I got on that horse and he got on with me. I was in seventh heaven taking my grandson for a horse ride. I used to have a horse when I was a teenager and I love horses.

Many keep reminding us that they still read the blogs and want to know how I am doing. It is very humbling.

I have a lot of thank you's to make to many people. I am "kicking high and well" because of so many prayers for me.

(End of Carol's note)

So—this is Jim again. Notice her phrasing "kicking high and well." And she is. It is just amazing to see her now. She is not 100%, but she is continually improving. It so exciting to watch!

And to think of her riding a horse! We have come a long way, baby! A very long way.

I fly to Colorado Springs for one day—tomorrow—to meet with my co-author on my newest book, "The Afterlife: What Happens When You Die." Though we are writing about death (and the glorious life God has prepared for us thereafter), we are rejoicing about life—here and now—and thanking Him for every minute!

(For the record, I did not wait 21 days to blog this time. Do I hear applause?)

Thursday, May 15, 2008, 7 pm

Greetings, again.

We are alive and well!  One of you (Tom from Kansas City) wrote me from the "Faithful Readers Club" and wondered why 21 days had passed since the last update.  The reason?  Carol is doing well, and her hubby is negligent.  No excuses.

Carol went to the oncologist this week for her checkup.  As you know, these visits are the "report card" for cancer overcomers.  The report was awesome.  In technical terms, her CA125 markers have been exactly the same for three months—5.9. The goal is to stay under 30 and to have no "upward trends."  We are rejoicing.  Thank you for your prayers!  I praise God every time I see Carol!

Now what about Carol's physical stamina?  The "Jim-o-metric Meter" indicates that Carol's strength is now at 80%.  Remember, it was, at one point, at 2% and stayed there many months (June-Nov).  If you go back one blog, just 21 days ago, it was at 70%.  Eighteen days before that, the trusty "Jim-o-metic Meter" was registering at 60%.

In addition, the functionability of the GI track has paralleled these numbers.  It was approximately 2% for a very lengthy time.  And in the previous blogs, it paralleled the strength levels at 60%, then 70%, and is now a cool 80%.

The "Jim-o-metric Meter" is trustworthy and highly scientific, in my humble (and correct) opinion.  It is a joy to watch her grow in strength.

It is slowly but steadily getting easier for Carol to remain in weekend worship services. During the last half of last year, she was unable to attend worship services.  When she finally was able to come, she could only stay in a portion of one. Then she could stay for an entire service. Now she is able to come to portions of a second service, greeting people in between. She cannot stand and greet after all five weekend services (or even three of them), but she is gradually able to do more.

On another note: We stayed each night at the beach condo from last Saturday to this morning (Thursday), as it was not rented those days.  On May 11, Sunday (Mother's Day), there were 11 family members riding our bikes together on the San Diego boardwalk.  Jake and I had done the "seven mile bike run" (Capri in PB to the jetty and back) on Saturday.  It was sunny and warm, and the boardwalk was jammed with people.  Our ride was greatly slowed due to the congestion.

But on Sunday, it was overcast, cool and windy, so the boardwalk was perfect for a bike caravan.  Carol rode almost the entire way.  This is her third time!  She loved it.

Every time I see her—whether it is cooking a meal, sitting at her computer, driving a car, riding a bike or doing laundry, my heart just jumps for joy.  To think—she can actually do those things!   And she is alive, well, here (not in a hospital or bed) and smiling!  It is wonderful!

We were back at Oasis of Hope Hospital, across the border in Tijuana, a couple weeks ago to get more supplements.  Remember, she takes 60 a day.  It was so great to see all the people there.  I have such fond memories of Oasis.  Carol loves the people but she was so sick when we were there that it does not evoke the same memories. 

I loved it because I felt—due to its Christ-centeredness, peace-filled atmosphere, and it's advanced cancer regimens—that I had taken her to a safe place, one that was helping me be a better primary care-giver.

When we were there at Oasis a couple weeks ago, I kept thinking, "what is so different about this visit?"  I knew it was more than the fact that Carol was up, around and smiling.  There was more than that.  And then I figured it out.  It was because Carol (not me) was the one quizzing the doctors.  She asked question after question, for several hours.

When we were there as "patient and companion," she was too sick to attend all the medical lectures (though many of the patients do attend along with their companions).  She was not involved in all the hours of hallway conversations in which I asked doctors questions about cancer and the treatment protocol.

Now, Carol was the one asking what each supplement did.  She was asking about laetrile or Kemdalin.  She was the one asking about the impact of her extensive resection (surgery).  I had already asked all those questions in our previous visits, often in her presence, but she was too sick to listen and remember.

Carol was intellectually energetic in her questioning.  It was a joy to watch her quiz Dr. Francisco Contreras (lead physician and owner) and Dr. Jorge Barrosa (head of research).  And they were so patient to answer.

Speaking of surgery (back on June 26, 2007) she had even more resected than we knew.  We were aware of six internal items that were removed.  What we did not realize (maybe we were too overwhelmed to hear it all), is that there were not six but nine.  The surgery was, to be quite candid, massive.  Knowing what we know now, it is amazing she is up, and doing so well.  The chemo, as it turns out, was only a small part of the journey, as significant as it was.  The surgery was extensive, with far reaching repercussions.

There is one other note I must share.  I won't say who the doctor was, out of respect for him.  But one of Carol's physicians—who was opposed to our "alternative" approaches (as they all were), graciously affirmed us and the cancer regimen we followed since last August.

His words, as best as I can reconstruct, were "although there is no scientific evidence for the combining of treatments—the conventional / traditional (surgery / chemo), the Chinese natural medicine (acupuncture / herbs), and the Vitamin C / Kemdalin / Perftec / Oxygenation Stress strategy at Oasis of Hope—you sort of intuitively worked your way through a maze of decisions that is having a very positive impact.  You are helping to guide other people on that journey."

We received that as a very significant compliment.  The compliment does not go to us, as you know.  We prayed, in a very focused way, last August, when things were going so badly, for a strategy.  "Lord, show us a strategy," we pleaded.  And I felt great peace when he did.  There were dozens of other treatments to which we were exposed.  I interviewed many at the Cancer Control Society meeting in Los Angeles in September.  Slowly, yet on time, God gave us the strategy.  And we praise and thank Him for that.

Well, it has been 21 days since I blogged, and I have given you more than you have time to read.  But, if there is still anyone besides my mother, my mother in law, and my friend Tom (from Kansas City, mentioned above) who are still reading this blog, thank you!  We love you!  And praise God for you.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 8 pm

Well, it has been 18 days since I posted anything. I presume that those who might be left in the "Faithful Readers Club" have long abandoned reading this blog (and I would understand why). However, I am re-emerging for this additional posting.

Allow me to give a quick overview:

First, Carol continues to improve. My "Jim-o-metric Meter" says she has gone from the 2% mark in strength to the 70% mark. Notice that 18 days ago my unscientific (yet accurate) indicator was at 60%.

In addition, the same medical barometer indicates that her GI tract functionability (I created the word, but it is a good one) has improved with equal registration: from 2% to 70%. Once again, you (since you have undoubtedly read and memorized my every word from the April 5 blog) will note that this in an increase from 60% to 70% as well—in just 2 ½ weeks.

Combine this with the fact of the March 24 trip to Carol's wonderful oncologist here in San Diego (Dr. Andy Hampshire) posted on March 27, indicated that she continues in remission.

Thus we are rejoicing as she continues to improve.

She continues to take nearly 60 supplements a day—based on the health regimen of the Oasis of Hope Hospital (Dr. Francisco Contreras). In addition, she continues to receive laetrile shots. She is nearly out of supplements, thus we will be taking a trip to Oasis of Hope (Tijuana, BC, Mexico) in the next few days.

Today we resumed "juicing." We had begun in late September, but had discontinued at the end of the year. In addition, I tried that which many of you do, but that which was new to me: "wheat grass juicing." Wow! Strong stuff. Made my ears stand on end! But it was not too bad (so long as you don't mind eating and smelling grass—and I mean the lawn type of grass)!

Carol’s slowly increasing strength has made it possible for me to be gone (without feeling super guilty), specifically on a New England trip April 6-9. I spoke on the 1730's and 1740's Great Awakening in Northampton, Massachusetts, the very city where much of it occurred, under the pastoral leadership of one of America’s most brilliant scholars, Jonathan Edwards. I visited the graves of the great Solomon Stoddard (grandfather of Jonathon Edwards) and David Brainerd (who was to have been the son in law of Edwards, but died—along with Edwards engaged daughter—before the wedding date).

In addition I toured the sites in Providence, RI associated with Roger Williams who in 1636 founded the first ever Baptist Church in America. (Some dispute that it was really the second one.)

I visited Newburyport, MA where George Whitefield is buried, the great evangelist of the First Great Awakening.

My trip included visits to Williams College in Williamstown, MA, sight of the historic 1806 Haystack Prayer Meeting, which launched the modern American missionary movement. In addition, I toured the two campuses of the great 19th century evangelists Dwight L. Moody in Northfield, MA, which was also the sight of his birth and burial. Additional campus visits included Smith College, Amherst College and Mt. Holyoke, all prestigious universities near Northampton, MA.

From there I went to Enfield, CT where Edwards in 1741 preached his most famous sermon "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God." In addition, we went to the burial site of Edward’s parents and saw his boyhood home in South Windsor, CT.

The trip was capped by going to Yale University, which included a campus tour and time in the famous Beineke Rare Book Library where (thanks to scholar Dr. Ken Minkema) we saw many of the original handwritten documents of Edwards. Concluding the day, Yale grad and Oxford Ph.D. candidate Allen Yeh graciously took me to the cemetery where Timothy Dwight IV (grandson of Edwards) who led the Second Great Awakening in 1802 and Timothy Dwight V (grandson of the "IVth") are buried.

You get the picture: I love church history and thoroughly enjoyed my whirlwind, no sleep, 20 hours-a-day tour. But what is more significant: I felt comfortable that I could be gone (that long and that far away) and yet Carol was okay. That is a big step for me. For us.

April 11, Friday was a double-header for the Garlow family. We were celebrating the anniversary of Josh's arrival in our home as a newly adopted baby. In the midst of that celebration, we had a time of family remorse.

Our faithful dog Shadow, a Queensland Heeler (Australian Cattle Dog), 14 years of age (11 years with us) developed a presumably cancerous tumor and had to be put down. We all loved Shadow, but this hit Carol particularly hard. Shadow slept every night right outside our bedroom-to-patio doors, only a few feet from us. Shadow is badly missed. She was the finest of dogs.

April 13, Sunday marked Skyline Church's great 3rd Annual Mud Run. Over 3,200 runners registered (before registration was closed) along with 500 children in the Mini-Mud. Check out www.skylinechurch.org and click on Mud Run photos.

Jacob ran it and did great! Josh ran it as did his wife Lacy. My two administrative assistants—Tracy and Elaine—ran it, thoroughly beating me! I ran it, beating my last years time by 20 seconds.

The race was awesome, complete with 6 or 7 mud pits and an enormously steep slope to climb. The temperature, normally wonderful in San Diego, shot up to a shocking 100 (some say 102) degrees that day. The most common phrase used to describe the run: "brutal."

Now for the neat part. Carol was able to attend. And this marked the first time she came WITHOUT a wig. Her hair is long enough (barely), but she looked so cool. However, most never noticed the short hair due the large hat she wore.

But the day of hats ended officially this past weekend when she showed up for church sans wig or hat! Many did not recognize her. Some walked right past her. She had to make eye contact, smile and greet before some recognized her.

The "coming out" without wig may seem small to the uninitiated. But to those who have had cancer or who have lived with one who has had it, this is a major milestone.

Another big step taken by Carol, signaling her "nearly normal" condition, was getting our house prepared for Open House. We have put our house on the market once again. (It was on the market a short time right before Carol's diagnosis last June.)

We have desired for some time to downsize. Thus almost a year ago, we bought a smaller home, in hopes of getting rid of 50% of our items, and moving. However, Carol's diagnosis caused us to take our present home off the market and to rent out the smaller home to which we had planned to move.

The market conditions are such that selling a home is a challenge—particularly a larger home. Thus we might simply stay where we are for a time, selling the smaller home—the one we wanted to occupy. (It's location and size causes it to be more marketable in the current real estate climate.)

But here is the issue: Carol's strength was such that she was able to prepare the house for showing. It did totally exhaust her. But her strength is improving. She could not have done this even a month ago.

On Sunday afternoon April 20, Carol and I enjoyed some time away and alone at our beach condo. It is nearly always rented out (for which we are thankful), but when it is available, we go down there for a few moments. It was a delight to be there, even if only for a few hours.

Carol relaxed in the condo while I rode seven miles on the boardwalk on my bike. It was dark (8 pm) and, by San Diego standards, cold. But I loved it. It was wonderfully refreshing!

Well, there you have it—an update. Finally.

And again, we say a heartfelt thank you to all who continue to lift Carol in prayer. Our concern, as you all know, is the issue of ongoing remission, without recurrence of cancer. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Saturday, April 5, 2008, 11 pm

Carol and I had a FABULOUS, FABULOUS, FABULOUS time speaking at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove near Asheville, North Carolina last Monday through Wednesday.

We spent much time with Cliff Barrows and his wife Ann.  As you may recall, Cliff has been the musical director for Dr. Billy Graham for over 60 years.  He and Ann are absolutely two of the most gracious persons one could ever meet.

In addition, we enjoyed much time with George Hamilton IV, the internationally renowned country singer and member of the Grand Ole Opry.  He is particularly well known for his 1963 national hit "Abilene."  He has traveled extensively with the Graham team for decades, and spends much of his time touring and performing in Britain and Ireland.

In addition, we enjoyed one wonderful evening with George Beverly Shea (age 99!) and his wife.  It was a delight.  He is still quite spry and is so sharp mentally.

To top it off, we enjoyed the company of John Innes, who has been the pianist and platform manager for the Graham Team for 45 years.  Watching him perform was worth the trip alone.

The setting was breathtaking, in the wooded mountains of North Carolina.  (I will not mention that Kansas—my home state—defeated North Carolina tonight, 84 to 66 in The Final Four.)  We were provided an indescribably beautiful "Thomas-Kinkade-type" cabin at the end of a dirt trail.  George Hamilton and his wife were in a cabin about 100 yards away.  Cliff Barrows and his wife were about a 1/2 mile away.

I spoke three times, and Carol joined with me for the fourth talk where we shared the scriptural lessons from the cancer journey.

However, we were the ones that were spiritually impacted.  In fact, Carol and I were enormously impacted being there with Cliff and the others.  If you have time, go to www.skylinechurch.org and click on "Sermons" then go to "Simplify - Part 11: The Simplicity of Integrity," which I preached tonight, Saturday night (though the date will show as April 6, 2008).  If you click on "PowerPoint" the entire slide presentation is there, including the pictures of Cliff Barrows and the others, along with pictures of The Cove and the cabins.

If you will listen to the sermon, you will see why we were so impacted.  Our time at The Cove was a spiritual mountaintop.

Shifting topics:  Carol had an appointment with her GI doctor on Friday.  She continues to improve.  I think she has gone from a "2%" to 60% in this area.  We have a ways to go before getting to 100%, but the improvement has been awesome.

Her strength level has improved in like measure—from 2% to 60%—as well.  We are very encouraged.  She handled the North Carolina trip quite well.  Obviously she needs to improve in both areas, above the 60% mark.  But we are so thrilled, we cannot stop praising the Lord for how far she has come.

I leave tomorrow (Sunday) right after church to speak at Northampton, Massachusetts in the town where the 1st Great Awakening broke out in the 1730's under the leadership of Jonathan Edwards.  I am speaking on that topic, tracking the Great Awakening and its impact.  The purpose of the "Awakening America" conference is to go before God, asking for revival to once again impact America.

In addition, I am doing some quick touring of multiple sites: Providence, RI where Roger Williams and Ann Hutchison established the first Baptists in America; Newburyport, MA where the great evangelist George Whitefield is buried; the burial sites of David Brainerd and Solomon Stoddard, in Northampton, MA; Northfield, MA for the location of much of Dwight L. Moody's ministry; Yale University for the outstanding work of Timothy Dwight IV and Timothy Dwight V.

In addition, I'll stop by several colleges: Harvard, Easter Nazarene University, Smith College, Amherst College, etc.  I'll be back Wednesday night.

Bottom line:  Carol is continuing to improve.  Noticeably improve.  THANK YOU for your prayers!

Saturday, March 29, 2008, 2 pm

The last blog posting was novel length. To make up for it, this one will be "text message" length.

Last night, Carol rode her bike (along with Jake, Josie and me—Jim) four miles on the boardwalk, from the

Capri-by-the-Sea to Belmont Park and back. Awesome!

End of "text message length" blog posting. Impressed? (Now, if you have two hours, read the previous blog)

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 1 am

This is a very long posting.  Be forewarned.  There are six big news items to report from the last 10 days:
1. Trip to the oncologist
2. Carol’s bike ride on the beach
3. The spectacular photo shoot
4. Our annual 2008 Easter Letter
5. The memorable trip to Orlando
and then–
6. the upcoming trip to North Carolina
 
No. 1: The trip to the oncologist–
Major news: on Monday, March 24, we went to the oncologist, the brilliant Dr. Andy Hampshire.  Carol had had an MRI a few days prior, along with blood work.  The result: MRI looked great, with no visible changes.  "No changes" is a euphemism for "no cancer activity," since cancer is ALWAYS changing and growing.
 
In addition, the CA125 marker had changed only from 5.8 to 5.9, which is effectively no change at all.  The goal is to stay under 30.  (Remember, Carol's CA125 markers were, before surgery, around 700.  Some people have markers into the thousands!) 

More than staying "under 30" however is the observance of trends.  For example, if it was trending upward: 6, 18, 25, 29 (even though it was under the "magic" 30), that would be a concern.
 
The CA125 markers are not, by themselves, fool proof.  But they are at least one indicator.  In this case, both the MRI and the CA125 markers were great.
 
This was our first "post-remission declaration" visit.  It was a victory.  Praise God!
 
No. 2: Carol’s bike ride on the beach–
This is really big news.  For the first time in a year, Carol was able to get on a bike.  Carol and I went to the beach on Thursday night, March 20.  Getting out our beach cruisers, we rode them down the boardwalk, on a beautiful southern California night.  I was amazed at Carol’s stamina, considering she has been so very weak. 
 
For you natives, she rode from the Capri by the Sea (1/4 mi. north of Crystal Pier) to Tower 18.  Round trip would be about three miles.  She offered to let me take off and ride my usual 7 or 8 miles.  I declined.  I wanted to stay with her.
 
Following the bike ride, she enjoyed her first time in a hot tub in a year!  The ocean air was perfect.  The moon was bright. 
 
We praised God for her being able to enjoy these wonderful things!
 
No. 3:  The spectacular photo shoot–
A wonderful 20something lady in Skyline Church, Erica Meier, is a superb photographer.  She–along with boyfriend Devon–came up with the idea of doing a photo shoot of Carol and me.
 
So last Friday, they took us on a jaunt into the country.  For you native San Diegans, you will know exactly where we went.  For some reason, I had not gone out the two lane 94 highway east past Rancho San Diego's Edward's Theatre, in about 10 years–and had only gone out there once, pheasant hunting with Jake.
 
So off on the narrow 94 eastbound, into the country (not the eight lane 94 towards downtown) we went!  Devon and Erica took us to poppy fields in full bloom.  They had us stand, sit and walk.  And they had us kiss as the shutter snapped.  There were no complaints from me. 
 
From the poppy fields we went to a grassy area where the old wooden fence had been burned out in the Oct fires.  This location evoked some memories. 
 
The fires would have swept through this area on Oct 23, 2007 (or possibly the night before) which was the same night the fires came over the top of Mt. Miguel toward Skyline Church and the homes of so many Skyliners. 
 
But Oct. 23 is also the day that a doctor at the Oasis of Hope Hospital sat with Carol and me and told us the news that they had discovered a lesion on Carol's liver.  That was a jolting day.  This meant that Carol's staging would go from Stage 3 to Stage 4, a very serious step.  As some of you may recall, 60 days and numerous tests later, the Stage 3 diagnosis stood.  But on that dark night,  Oct. 23, and with a much more serious diagnosis hanging over us, we were not merely distressed by Carol's condition, but by the San Diego wildfires as well.
 
Like many people, we were up all night, on the phone with family members and Skyline pastors.  Why do I mention it?  Because Erica had selected as one of her photo shoot sites a burned-out wooden fence.  That old burned fence represented a night of terror–both medically and with regard to raging fires. 
 
Now six months later, we were posing on that old partially burned fence.  Time and rains had healed the landscape, with beautiful plant life all around the fence.  Gone were the burned-out plants.  In their place was fresh growth.  But the permanently scarred fence remained, as a reminder that Oct. 23 had been a very bad night.
 
And for Carol?  She looked gorgeous.  New life was emerging in her, as her strength and vigor was returning.  Yet there are permanent scars on her body–both externally and internally–that will be with her throughout her life.  And there is a type of "scarring" on our memories, of the terror of the 8 month walk in general, and the fear that gripped our hearts that Oct. 23 day with the potential liver lesion threat.
 
So it was a symbolic moment.  Raging fires then.  But now beautiful plant life.  Scary diagnosis then.  But now the promise of physical victory. 

It was a special moment to pose with Carol by and on that old scarred fence.  Symbolically rich for both of us.
 
From the burned fence we were taken to a park bench at a trail head.  There Erica took many pictures of Carol by herself.  The result?  Well I have not seen the pictures, but I am told she looked like a model.  And I am not surprised, because I witnessed the actual photo shoot.  And yes, she looked like a model.  Astonishingly beautiful, if I might say so myself.
 
From the bench, we went to Simpson's Nursery at the corner of 94 and Proctor Valley Road.  (Want some fun?  Google the "Proctor Valley Monster.") 
 
Many of you know about this unbelievable nursery.  I did not now about it.  Rather than just selling plants, it is a large, quite sizeable, museum.  Antique vehicles are all over the grounds.  One large red barn is a classic truck museum.  Another larger structure houses classic cars.  It is an awesome sight.  The travel trailer display is a walk down a "nostalgic lane" for old guys like me.
 
Standing in front of a 1940's vintage (and significantly rusty) Dodge truck, Carol and I had pictures taken.  Then in front of an approximately 1910 era truck.  Later in front of a 1950 (quite weathered) Chevy car.  What a fabulous place for a photo shoot.
 
Superb thanks to Erica and Devon for making this an incredible afternoon for not only Carol and me, but for Jake and Josie as well.
 
No. 4: Easter Letter -
Our annual Easter letter, which covers the last year's events was sent out four days ago.  You may have received it.  If not, it is below.  However, if you have followed this blog for the last eight months, there is little new information in it.  Here is the annual 2008 Easter Letter, in full:
 
 
The Garlow Easter Letter - March 23, 2008
Greetings Good Friends,
 
(NOTE: This is sent to all on my contact list – whether extremely close friends, persons we have only met once or, in some cases, individuals we have met only via the internet.  Simply put, somehow your email address is in my computer.  Since this is my personal family Easter letter [we chose this season rather than Christmas] and you may not know us well, please feel no obligation to read further.)

Once a year, since Carol and I were married 37 years ago, I send out an annual Easter letter.  Unfortunately, I have missed several years lately.  But I could not skip this year.

This has been the greatest year ever.  God is good.  The people in my life are a blessing to me.  In fact, I have never needed people like I did this past year.  And we were blessed!

Carol was diagnosed with primary peritoneal (ovarian type) cancer in June 07, resulting in a seven hour surgery, removing over 100 tumors, which caused multiple stays in the hospital, trips to ER’s, seven weeks of nausea, six rounds of chemo and a sudden 57 lb. weight loss.

In addition to the finest traditional / conventional care available in the U.S. (led by Dr. Afshin Bahador), her treatment was augmented by the spectacular treatment from two other sources:  Oasis of Hope Hospital (www.oasisofhope.com )led by devout Christian oncologist Dr. Francisco Contreras in Tijuana, BC, Mexico using some twenty different cancer fighting protocols, and the 4,000 year old Chinese “natural medicine” approach (www.yehcenter.com ) under the watchful care of an equally passionate Christian, Dr. Timothy Yeh.   (I will not share more on this, as her story is told in detail on www.skylinechurch.org  )

Bottom line: She is in remission, slowly gaining strength, attempting to overcome complications in the GI track, and adjusting to chemo related neuropathy (nerve damage).  Key issue now: overcoming the “stats.”  Our new goal (and one we invite you to pray with us for): to successfully pass the “five year mark” – Dec. 2012.  With God’s help, she is going to sail past the five year mark with great victory.

Our family, church and extended friends supported us PERFECTLY during the last nine months.  I am overcome with gratitude.  Absolutely overcome.  We have been cared for in the most tender and thorough way.  This outpouring of love has placed me in a permanently humbled state of eternal gratefulness.

Cancer is horrible.  It changes everything.  It makes “normal” out of reach.  However, it does have some serendipitous impact.  For starters, we really cling to God more now.  Secondly, (as noted above) I am so aware of how interdependent I am.  I needed others.  Many others.   Thirdly, Carol and I have fallen in love – very deeply.  Thirty seven years of marriage plus the uncertainty that cancer brings has resulted in us being honeymooners again.  We are very clingy – wanting to be together all the time.  I touch her, hold her, kiss her every chance I can.

During the eight months following the June diagnosis, I cancelled everything to become a primary caregiver.  One night, while cleaning the carpet after Carol had experienced a  serious bout with nausea, I heard God say, “this is the best ministry you have ever had.”  And it was.

Josie, now 16 and a sophomore at Valhalla High School, is in gymnastics and wants a driver’s license.  I tell her she can get one (and can also date) when she is 30.  (Okay, kidding!)  She is a very beautiful, fun loving, teasing young lady. We have become very close.  Her high school “advocate” helped carry us through the last nine months.  Her best “friend” is her cell phone.

Jacob, age 17 and a sophomore at a wonderful private school, Excelsior Academy, played flag football on his school team which won the championship for the third year in a row.  (Did I mention that he caught a pass and carried the ball across the line for the winning touchdown in the final play of the final game?)  He also did very well in wrestling (through a fabulous coaching staff at public school - Valhalla High School), loves golf, and also wants a driver’s license.  He is unbelievably muscular.  I stopped initiating wrestling matches with him over six months ago, after I was thoroughly humiliated.

Both of them felt the full impact of Carol’s illness, as she is the epicenter of their emotional lives.  Both faced challenges, but are overcoming them well. 

Josh, married to awesome Lacy, has two wonderful boys: Lukas & Jackson.  He continues to develop as a leader, as head of the Worship & Arts Dept. at Skyline Church, here in San Diego.  Lacy, a nurse’s assistant, continues in her spectacular way to bless patients at Grossmont Hospital. 

Janie, married to awesome Jeremy, has two wonderful boys: Riley & Aidan.  They moved back to San Diego (from Victorville, CA – 2 ½ hours north of us) the day before Carol’s diagnosis.  Their living here proved to be an indescribable blessing and help.  Jeremy planted a brand new church called Seven-San Diego, located in the Chula Vista area of San Diego.  He is a superb pastor and communicator.

The four grandsons are absolutely wonderful and hilarious.  They are at such cool ages now.  Grandmas love babies, but Grandpas can have fun with little boys – teasing, laughing, playing, rolling on the floor and building tents in the living room.  They are a delight!

And a word about “in-laws.”  My daughter in law Lacy and my son in law Jeremy are the greatest in the whole wide world!  I am so very blessed!

(Pictures of family members are on www.skylinechurch.org – then click on Carol’s picture, and scroll down.)

I am in my 13th year as Senior Pastor of Skyline Wesleyan Church in La Mesa, CA – a suburb of San Diego.  My summary of Skyline is as follows:  they are the greatest people on the planet.  They “loved us through” this past year, going way beyond the call of duty.  I am SO GRATEFUL for this church!  Frankly, we are enjoying the best of times at Skyline.  I love it!

My commentary, The Garlow Perspective, is now on 617 radio outlets daily.  I am so, so, so very grateful for those of you who help support this endeavor.  (For list of stations in your area, see www.GarlowPerspective.com though my websites are, unfortunately, not up to date!)

Just before Carol’s diagnosis, I completed my 9th book (co-authored)  The Secret Revealed, a response to Rhonda Burns’ internationally popular (thanks, in part, to Oprah) book, The Secret.  (Info on this is at www.JimGarlow.com)  [Sorry to make this a long list of websites!]

I was just beginning a book before Carol’s diagnosis that was put on hold, but am now “re-beginning.”  My 10th book (also co-authored) will be called (I think) The Afterlife: What Happens When You Die? 

NOTE:  May I ask your help on this one?  I need stories of “near death experiences.”  Do you know of someone who has had one?  If so, please let me know their name and email address. 

I have not traveled and spoken much this year due to Carol’s illness. However, any writing or speaking, etc. seem rather unimportant when compared to the fact that my wife is alive and well. 

Those of you who know me best know my method of maintaining my sanity is by riding my bike on the eight miles of Pacific Ocean boardwalk.  (The video team at Skyline made a clip of this - http://www.skylinechurch.org/flamovie/simpil.html ).   It is a slice of heaven for me.  I thank God for this breathtaking outlet. 

Many of you know, Carol and I are spiritually, emotionally and physically refreshed by hanging out at the beach condo.  For those of you who care, you can see how Carol beautifully remodeled it, just before she became ill at http://www.vrbo.com/134780   Regretfully, we were not able to stay in it for eight months.  But more recently we actually had a night there.  We laughed and rejoiced and praised God that we could be together as a family again – with a healthy Carol – at the condo, our haven.

Thus this has been a great year.  God is good.  People have been wonderful.  And, yes, Jesus is Risen!

Grateful - so very grateful,
Jim Garlow
San Diego, CA     www.skylinechurch.org
 
End of Easter Letter
- -- - - - -
 
No. 5: My trip to Orlando–
Little by little, our life is returning to normal.  This includes me traveling to things I have not attended in the last eight months.
 
Twice a year, the General Board of the Wesleyan Church (denomination) meets, almost always in Indianapolis.  This meeting however was in Orlando (in preparation for the denominational General Conference, a once every four years event, to be held there this June).
 
I was concerned about leaving Carol from Monday (March 17) to Wednesday night (March 19).  We are spoiled.  We have gotten used to being together.  We don't like being apart.  And I was concerned about her with me being gone so long, so far away.
 
I arrived in Orlando Monday night.  My luggage did not.  It, having a mind of its own, chose to stay in San Diego.
 
At approximately midnight I arrive in the beautiful (swanky?) Rosen Shingle Creek Hotel.  However to my horror, I heard these words, "we do not have a reservation for Jim Garlow."  What followed was worse.  “There is no Wesleyan Church meeting here!"
 
I was in the right city, but at the wrong hotel, at midnight, with no idea how to find out where to go.  I called my Administrative Assistant (who had been directed by email to send me to that hotel) to see what she could find out. 
 
I immediately tried to recall by memory who was on the General Board (some 30 persons), in hopes that I might have some of their cell phone numbers, and be able to reach one of them.  One hour and 15 minutes later I was still having no success. 
 
At that time I asked if there were any other "Rosen Hotels" in the Orlando area.  There were.  I asked if they could begin calling them, to see if by chance anyone of them had a reservation for a stranded and desperate Jim Garlow.  The desk clerks began calling, in part to get me away from front desk, I am sure.  They did not want a “homeless man” camped out there all night.  Finally success!  They found another Rosen Hotel that had my reservation.
 
By 1:30am, I was safely deposited at that hotel.  However, my luggage was supposed to come to the hotel where I was no longer.  Thus more calls were made to American Airlines.  I was assured my luggage would arrive in my (new) hotel between 3 and 4 am. 
 
I asked the clerk that they call me as soon as the luggage arrived, even if it was at the promised 3 am.  They assured me they would.
 
Wanting to "case the joint" so that I would know where to go for the 8:30 am meeting, I asked "where will we meet in the morning?"  "Salon 21" I was told.
 
I decided to walk to Salon 21 so I would have no difficulty finding it in the morning.  However, this was a massive hotel.  I walked and walked and walked.  It felt like a full mile.  Finally I found Salon 21, our alleged meeting room.
 
As I walked into my Rosen Centre Hotel (not Shingle Creek Hotel!) room, I noticed that the TV made a noise and then flashed a bright light for a split second.  My first thought was that the TV was turning on.  How impressive that this was such an "electronically smart" building that the TV's turned on when the guest arrived in the room. 
 
But I was mistaken.  The TV did not turn on.  Instead, it made the same noise and flash a few moments later.  And again later.  I tried to turn the TV on or off with the remote.  I was unsuccessful.  The TV, ignoring my attempts, kept groaning and flashing.  I realized I would not be able to sleep with the noise and subsequent flash.
 
I called the main desk, asking for help.  They assured me an engineer would come right to my room, which he did, at the ungodly hour of 1:30 am.  Thirty minutes later, at 2 am,  I finally pled, "Can you move me to another room?  I need sleep."
 
They promptly moved me from 1126 to 1127.  By 3 am, I was sound asleep.
 
I awakened with a start at 5:08 am, wondering why my luggage had not arrived.  I called the front desk. "Yes, the luggage was there."  "Why did you not contact me as I asked?" I asked.  "Because I was on a break" was the response.
 
I asked for it to be brought to the room.  They agreed to do that.  I dressed and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And waited.
 
Finally the phone rang, with the lady at the front desk asking "why don't you answer the door?"  "No one knocked on my door!" I explained.  I stepped out into the hallway to beckon the bewildered and observably confused bellman.  You guessed it.  He had gone to the wrong room, to the room to which I was originally assigned, 1126, the room with the growling and flashing TV.
 
Finally I had my luggage.  It was 5:20 am.
 
I opened the garment bag. My shaver (which I had failed to empty in some time) had come open and dumped "whisker remains" everywhere. 
 
Most noticeable was my suit.  It was a wrinkled mess.  Now, I hate to admit this, but I have only ironed my clothes once.  (Okay, I plead guilty.  I just don't iron.) 
 
But with a massively wrinkled suit, I decided to try ironing, on two hours of sleep.  I figured out how to iron the pants very quickly.  But the suit coat was another matter.  I tried to figure out how one does that.  If I could cut the sleeves off, it would have been no problem.  Why on earth don't they install zippers that allow the sleeves to be removed for ironing.
 
With much patience (not something for which I have been known historically) I completed the ironing assignment, rather proud of myself.
 
Back to bed I went, now 6 am.  One more hour of sleep meant that I had accumulated three hours for the entire night, approximately five hours short of what my body seemed to want.
 
At 7 am I got up and proudly donned my wonderfully and impressively ironed suit.  I was particularly proud of the suit and tie because at all the previous General Board meetings, I was virtually the only one NOT wearing a suit and tie.  I only wear a suit and tie for funerals.  So I did not see why I should wear one to General Board meetings.  However, THIS General Board meeting would be different.  I, too, would wear the official uniform! 
 
Knowing exactly where to go, I began the seemingly marathon-length walk to Salon 21, well scouted out the night before.  So off to Salon 21 I dashed.
 
But no one was in Salon 21.  Irritated (I admit) I headed back down in the numbers–Salon 20, Salon 19, Salon 18, etc.  Finally, returning almost to my originating point, I discovered that our meeting was not in Salon 21 (so very far away) but in Salon 9 (so very close), one I had walked by a long time before. 
 
Irritated more, I entered the room, late.  When you are late, that means one thing: you have to go to the front of the room.  Pastors and church leaders, like those they lead each weekend, sit in the back.  So off to the front (late) I trudged. 
 
But then I noticed something horrifying.  I was the only one wearing a suit and tie!  How could this be?  Obviously a great conspiracy was underway!  Somehow, in the night, while I was diligently ironing the wrinkled suit, someone must had seen it and spread the word, "Garlow is finally conforming.  So let's throw him a curve, and all go casual."
 
Actually, my Walter Mitty conspiratorial mind was wrong.  No one had seen me ironing in the night.  They had sent out a memo, two days earlier, alerting everyone that no suits and ties were necessary!  No further comment regarding some of the unsanctified thoughts I was experiencing!
 
And thus began my trip to Orlando.  Do you want to hear more?  No.  And do I want to tell you more?  No.  I have told you too much already.  You now know all you need to know about my Orlando trip.
 
No. 6: Upcoming trip to North Carolina–
I am speaking at the Billy Graham Center in North Carolina March 31 through April 2, invited there by Cliff Barrows, the man who has conducted the music at Billy Graham Crusades for 60 years!.
 
Cliff is so gracious, as is his wonderful wife Anne.  Cliff's first wife died of cancer, as did Anne's first husband.  Thus they have been so sensitive to Carol and me during the recent months.  In fact, Cliff and Anne came to see Carol in the hospital during one of her chemo treatments.
 
Thus it will be a joy to see them.  And it will be wonderful for Carol to join me!

And now you have the “full scoop” from the Garlow household. 
 
One more thing:  All of the above occurred because of a gracious God and the prayers of so many of you.  THANK YOU.  THANK YOU SO MUCH.  We remain in a permanent state of gratefulness.