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Update on Carol
Carol's chemo hit full force today. Extreme fatigue. Unfortunately some nausea - particularly at 8 am, 10 am and 2 pm.
Some good news: she made the journey to Dr. Yeh's office perfectly though, sleeping in the comfortable RV all the way up and back. The time spent with him was well worth it. He is both compassionate and brilliant.
A FULLER EXPLANATION OF SOME DETAILS OF CAROL'S TREATMENT: I have learned that many of you (most of you?) are far more informed regarding the topic of cancer and cancer treatments than I am. I have had a steep learning curve. I have read much and asked many questions. I am currently reading several books, one titled DISMANTLING CANCER (available free online at www.oasisofhope.com ). It has been one of the most readily understandable books regarding the complexity of fighting cancer.
We continue to work on two approaches: (1) stopping existing cancerous tumors, and (2) enhancing the immune system to prohibit future cancer. As many of you know, tumor elimination is a multi-faceted endeavor. Whatever cell dysfunction that has allowed the cancerous tumors in Carol's body needs to be altered so that the healthy cells both starve and attack any future carcinoma.
As you know, we are doing #1 above through the surgery and ongoing chemo. Carol has had two rounds of chemo out of a total of eight.
As we have stated earlier, we are trying to accomplish #2 above through Natural Medicine (Yeh Center for Natural Medicine) and through the Oasis of Hope Hospital, under the direction of Dr. Francisco Contreras. The Contreras family has been studying the causes of cancer for 44 years. (Actually the accumulative years of study of the father-son doctor team total over 60 years.) When their 20 different cancer treatments are added to conventional treatments of surgery and chemo, the survivability rate increases approximately threefold. Based on the survivability rates that we have been told, this is indeed welcome news.
Dr. Ernesto Contreras began practicing medicine in 1939 and became the pathologist at Mercy Hospital here in San Diego in the early 1960's. (A side note: The director of the hospital, now 85 years of age, was a Skyliner in those days). In time (1963) Dr. Contreras founded Oasis of Hope Hospital. He has two sons who are medical doctors, both focusing on cancer research. (Another side note I just learned today: Several well known Skyliners have lived cancer free since going to Oasis of Hope years ago. More on that in another web posting.)
Carol will be going to Oasis of Hope Hospital for 12 days beginning Monday. Since the hospital rooms and the treatment plan are set up for husband and wife to be together, I will be with her during that time.
To those who are quite knowledgeable about cancer and cancer treatments, I want to write a special note: I want to thank you for your patience with me. Many of you were concerned that initially we were seeking only conventional treatment. I even stated publicly that I was too overwhelmed to hear about other treatment options (the first day I preached publicly after word of Carol's diagnosis). You were gracious and patient and honored my request. Candidly (as everyone knows who has been hit with the "cancer news,") I was too overloaded to consider any options. I was trying to simply survive each day with the needs of Carol and my family. And candidly, I was dealing with a degree of shock and much grief.
In time (at about the 6 week mark), I had sufficient equilibrium to begin learning much about the nature of cancer and cancer treatment. There was further incentive to seek help due to the fact that we had exhausted all possible medical remedies for her persistent nausea.
I discovered that so many of you had done extensive cancer treatment study, reflection and research. You graciously waited till you sensed I was capable of receiving info.
The information I have received has been so very beneficial. I can only mention now a couple "thank you's." Thank you to Kay Hamilton Beeson (a college classmate who I have not seen one single time since college - but who persistently insisted via emails that I get help for Carol) for helping me so much to begin to understand that there was help for Carol's weakening condition. Thanks to Russ & MaryBeth Meek who re-connected me with Kay, and who gently nudged.
And I am so thankful through an amazing series of "coincidences(??)" that God reconnected me with the Contreras' Oasis of Hope Hospital. I had known of them, even working with the current hospital CEO in the 2003 Billy Graham Crusade here in San Diego. My connecting with Oasis of Hope Hospital is an involved and amazing story in itself, but that can wait for a later time.
After I announced that we were adding to conventional treatment, so many (hundreds?) of you have come forward and let me know how much you were praying that we would "broaden" our treatment horizons. You seemed to breath a collective sigh of relief, based on so many comments, notes, and emails.
In summary, I am saying a thank you for praying with us and for us. We were asking God for a clear strategy. One that we would see so clearly that we would be willing to be misunderstood if we followed it. Carol and I have deep peace. We know that we only see what we are to do right now. There will be much more insights, learning and Spirit-directed revelation of His Will. But we are walking in it as best we know at this time. We are open to learning from Him (and from whomever He directs) tomorrow and the day after that. And we are enjoying much "peace in the storm."
Thursday, Aug 30, 2007, 10 am
Carol had a superb day yesterday (Wed). She saw her gynecologic oncologist and then went to an additional wig fitting...and came out looking super perky. (Perky = awesome!)
She had a good night last night.
The impact of chemo (round 2) has hit. Fatigue has set in. There has not been nausea except for a round this morning around 8 am.
You may recall that Dr. Timothy Yeh (Center for Natural Medicine) was an enormous help in bringing an end to six weeks of unrelenting nausea. She is seeing him today in LA area (Upland, CA). Thanks to Bill and Jean Runner for providing their RV to transport Carol there today.
And thank you, thank you, thank you for praying.
Wednesday, Aug 29, 2007, 8 am
Carol had a great night. (I saved you a lot of time by keeping this one short :-)
Tuesday, Aug 28, 2007, 9 pm
Great news! Carol had a very good day. Her strength continues to increase. And, praise God, no nausea!
Carol had round 2 of chemo today. It takes about 4 hours to receive the chemo. The day of chemo is not the difficult time. It tends to create discomfort one or two days later, and is profoundly difficult for about six or seven days. Join with us in prayer that this round of chemo's discomfort will be minimized.
Carol met with her medical oncologist (Dr. Crucitt) today. We also talked with the primary care physician (Dr. Doane) as well.
Tomorrow she meets with her gynecologic oncologist (Dr. Bahador, the one who did the surgery). On Thursday she meets with the doctor (Dr. Yeh) using Natural / Classical Medicine.
Next Monday she meets with several physicians (ongoing for 12 days) under the direction of Dr. Francisco Contreras at Oasis of Hope Hospital, which combine a host of treatments. Their strategy is not so much to find a way to cure the cancer, but rather analyze the cause of the cancer, so that once it goes into remission, it might be possible to reduce its chance of reoccurence.
We have discovered that with all the billions of dollars spent on cancer research, not much is really known about it. Life expectancy (for several forms of cancer) is not enhanced by surgery and chemo. There is no "silver bullet" for cancer. No one or two or three things work. It appears that it needs a host of approaches.
The one singular approach we ARE counting on is prayer. We DO believe that THAT approach is THE key. Keep praying - confidently, boldly, in faith declaring healing over Carol's body.
We thank God for the medical team assembled. And we are so grateful for the prayer / support team He has assembled: all of you!
Tuesday, Aug 28, 2007, 9 am
Well...Carol did go shopping last evening. And she loved it. She did great. She (along with Janie & Josie) had a blast. She was thrilled with her purchases. She is happy. And Macy's owners are happy too!
She may have overdone it slightly. She came home, laid down and was asleep in seconds. She has given new meaning to the term "shop till you drop!" She did exactly that.
But it is wonderful to see her up and about. Her strength is returning. Again we rejoice that the nausea, that has plagued her since early July (even pre-chemo), is gone.
Today Carol has round two of chemo. We feel we are going into this much more prepared. We understand that chemo is toxic to the system, but feel our understanding is considerably beyond where it was three weeks ago.
We prayed for a clear strategy. We are thankful for the "game plan" that God has given us to this point.
We have a three pronged approach: (1) wonderful doctors using TRADITIONAL / CONVENTIONAL medicine (surgery/chemo), (2) wonderful doctors using CLASSICAL / NATURAL medicine (diet/nutrition/herbs) (Yeh Center for Natural Medicine), and (3) wonderful doctors using INTEGRATIVE (merging of traditional medicine + classical medicine + Bible meditation & prayer + laughter therapy + techniques to soften the harshness of the chemo on the body through almost a half century of research in cancer causes [as opposed to cancer cures]) designed for immune enhancement (Oasis of Hope Hospital).
The first group of doctors are through the Sharp Rees-Stealy System here in San Diego. They have become friends. We value them. The second group are Nazarene doctors in whom we have great confidence.The third group have a Nazarene background as well, some of whom with which we have had a relationship. We are so grateful this stategy has developed. They all have a servant attitude, which we cherish.
We are thankful for the team that has emerged to bless Carol during this season. And we REALLY praise God for all of you! You have blessed Carol, more than we can articulate in an email. Simply stated, we love you!
Monday, Aug 27, 2007, 10 am
It is fun to bring you good reports! Carol is doing extremely well. She had a superb Sunday, Sunday night and Monday morning.
No nausea. No vomiting. Strength returning. Other complications are gone as well.
Only negative side effect: she talked of going shopping today. Oh no! (Now we need to cast the "shopping demon" out of her!)
Okay, now I am serious: Thank you for standing with us during this season! We love you!
Saturday, Aug 25, 2007, 3 pm
Carol demonstrated vastly increased strength throughout the day yesterday. Her appetite (even though on an extremely rigorous diet) vastly increased, for the first time saying "I think I'll get some more." Although there have been moments of very low levels of nausea, it is subsiding. There has been tremendous progress over the last week.
Admittedly there is a long distance to travel (chemo extends from now till Feb. 1), these last few days have been a blessing.
Thank you special friends for praying so faithfully.
Friday, Aug 24, 2007, 9 am
Carol had a good night. Although a low level of nausea occasionally comes, it is not resulting in vomiting. We are so very grateful for that fact. This is a major accomplishment.
Her energy level has risen a great deal in recent days. Yesterday and today were very strong days. She is able to do so many more things now. She went to a store yesterday afternoon and came home and did many things. This would have been unthinkable a few days ago.
Throughout this journey, we have prayed for a strategy, a God-given strategy. Little by little, it seems God has unfolded the plan. We have taken steps and each time we have sensed His affirmation and blessing.
We feel she has exceptional care in the surgery/chemo aspect of her journey. That journey continues with round 2 of chemo this coming Tuesday.
The dietary changes and nutrition regimen from the natural medicine tradition has had a very positive impact on Carol's wellbeing. She can tell a tremendous difference. Frankly the way she is eating is the way we all should be eating. I suspect we would all live longer and better lives.
Once again, a sincere thank you for walking with us in this journey. We pray for you in your respective journey as well.
Thursday, Aug 23, 2007, 5 pm
Carol has had a very good day. With the exception of intense nausea problems at 2:30 am this morning, she has done well. Her strength is improving slightly. How do I know? She went (with family members) to Wal-Mart. That is the clue.
Bottom line: we are encouraged. Considerably better than a week or 10 days ago. Her dietary changes, directed through the Yeh Center for Natural Medicine, are quite beneficial she believes.
Carol has round two of chemo on Tuesday, Aug 28. You know how to pray. You have been doing a remarkable job of it.
And as you expect, she is loving your cards. Many good laughs! Thank you for having a superb sense of humor. We have laughed hard as a family at some of the things you have sent! Thank you for being you!
Wednesday, Aug 22, 2007, 5 pm
Wednesday has been a very good day for Carol. She had a good night last night, as well as a good day today, and for that we are so very grateful.
It was a day of some emotion in the arena of hair loss; however Carol handled it like a trooper. She is, with shoulders high and head up, moving forward, and we all are, as well.
Once again, words cannot express how deeply felt our love is for all of you who are willing to take time from your busy schedules to check this website and to prayer her.
We love you all so very much.
Tuesday, Aug 21, 2007, 2 pm
Carol has had a reasonably good morning. Unfortunately, she did have a very difficult time with nausea at 3 am and again at about 8 am. We are still praying that the nausea challenge will be solved.
She goes to the medical oncologist this afternoon.
Thank you so very much for your wonderful support for her.
Monday, Aug 20, 2007, 11:30 am
We are pleased to report that Carol had a good Sunday, Sunday night and Monday morning. The only exception was an intense wave of nausea at 11:30 pm Sunday night, the first one since Thursday evening. She is doing well this morning.
All chemo treatments are designed to kill fast growing cells. Thus one of the causes of chemo treatments (in Carol's case, a combination of taxol and carboplatin) is alopecia, or hair loss, since hair cells are fast growing. This occurs approximately between days 10-18 from point of beginning chemo. Carol is on day 13, thus has moved into a new part of the experience. This is understandably more traumatic for women than men. Although she is handling it well overall, there are times of emotion regarding this transition.
It was two months ago this morning that we first heard the word "cancer." At times, it seems so much longer than that. But we praise God, and we thank all of you, for helping Carol (and all of us) get through this first two months. We are moving forward!
Saturday, Aug 18, 2007, 11 pm
Carol had a very good day. She experienced no nausea, for which we are extremely grateful. (How long has it been since this website was able to say "no nausea!")
We (Carol, Jim and Josie) went to Upland, CA (part of Los Angeles area) today to meet with a highly recognized Christian doctor regarding the nutritional and dietary aspects of overcoming cancer.
Fighting cancer, it seems, is a two pronged effort. The "defense" aspects are surgery and chemo (and oftentimes, though not in Carol's case, radiation). The "offense" strategy is the nutritional/dietary treatment.
It is our desire to combine the best of "two worlds." Carol is experiencing the finest, state-of-the-art traditional Western medicine. In addition to that, she is following the dietary insights of classical Eastern medicine. (Note: Eastern does not mean Hinduistic or Buddhistic, etc. We have no interest in that. Eastern medicine refers to Natural Medicine.)
Traditional Western medicine excels in the removing (surgery) and killing (chemo) of cancer cells. Unfortunately this also means the killing many good cells. Classical medicine focuses on building up the body's natural ability to fight off inappropriate cells.
We do not pit one against the other (Western vs. Eastern, Traditional vs. Classical), as some do. (Candidly, we don't have a sufficiently sophisticated understanding of this process to even participate in that debate. We leave that discussion to others. We are mono-focused: seeing Carol healed.)
Undergirding both understandings of medicine is one essential item: prayer. Ultimately, our confidence is not in competing medical histories and methodologies. Our confidence is in the Lord who is above all, who is the designer of the human body. We pray that all physicians are guided by God in how to respond to Carol's needs.
We are only walking, as best we know, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, day by day, in the way we are sensing He is showing us. We have prayed for competent and compassionate doctors. God has honored that request. We have also prayed for a strategy. God has honored that petition as well.
Carol made today's 5 hour round (San Diego – LA – San Diego) exceptionally well, thanks to driver Jerry Vincent and his wonderful RV. She had more strength today than usual. After that trip she even went to a store! She was predictably weary at the end of this day. This has been one of Carol's better days, for which we are most thankful. Thank you for your untiring concern and love for Carol.
Friday, Aug 17, 2007, 11 pm
Carol was discharged from the hospital, arriving home approximately 8 pm tonight. She does not have nausea, but simply stated, is a bit uncomfortable tonight.
The cause of her discomfort? Probably the cumulative impact of the first somewhat routine surgery, followed immediately by the second extensive surgery and the complications left in it's wake (although the internal healing should be quite advanced by now), the first round of chemo, the impact of extended nausea (the lack of nutrition and rapid weight loss), the emotional reality of cancer itself and the associated statistics, plus three times in the hospital and four times at emergency rooms and urgent care. It has been a difficult two months.
Positively however, she is home! And we are so grateful for that.
Another positive note: The MRI that was done today was a brain scan to make certain there were no brain tumors that might be causing the inexplicable nausea. The MRI was "negative," a good report. We are certainly thankful for that.
And another reason to rejoice in our family. My mother's surgery, referred to in the posting earlier today, went very well. She too was released from the hospital and arrived home before 10 pm tonight.
I (Jim) got lots of exercise today, going back and forth between Mom and Carol. Quite an interesting day!
But both ladies are home, in bed, peacefully asleep. That is reason to thank God. And to thank you—for your prayers.
We did not solve the problem that sent Carol to the hospital several times now—the nausea. The oncologists are not in agreement that the simple tampering with the peritoneum (lining in the abdominal cavity that was removed in Carol's surgery) can, in and of itself, be causing nausea over seven weeks after surgery.
Another possible explanation for the nausea might be the fact that she has been on 15 medicines. That alone might have triggered the seemingly unending nausea. The nausea problem has simply not been solved.
Tomorrow Carol will see a specialist to assist with proper nutrition and dietary issues. Chemo, as you know, kills—as it is suppose to. Unfortunately, it destroys not only bad cells, but good cells, including the immune system.
Somehow her good cells need to be built up. Thus we are seeking out assistance and training to understand the nutritional components of strengthening the immune system.
Pray for us as we accelerate that process at this time. Thanks to a friend with an RV, we will be able to take her to Los Angeles tomorrow for that purpose.
And thank you for the cards you have sent Carol. It is a riot to watch her read them. As soon as she starts opening them, she repeats the predictable "Jim, you have to read this one." And I do. And she is right. The cards you send are great!
Carol sure loves you all. Thank you for your caring ways!
Friday, Aug 17, 2007, 4 pm
Carol had a very good night last night and has been able to eat breakfast and lunch today, for which we are very thankful. Her nausea level is extremely low at this point. She did have a brief struggle with nausea last night at approximately 10:30pm. Other than that, she has been doing extremely well here in the hospital.
A number of CT scans have been done. They decided to do an MRI again today. We anticipate that she may be discharged later today.
My mother, Winifred Garlow, had surgery today. Fortunately, her surgery was in the same hospital that Carol is in, even though my mother's health provider is different than Carol's.
Another irony is that after the surgery, she was assigned to the same floor that Carol is on. Carol is in the oncology portion of that floor. My mother was assigned in a different portion, yet on the same floor.
My mother's surgery is related to spinal stenosis, which causes severe back pain. She is having a very new medical procedure done, the insertion of an "X-stop", a titanium device that is placed between L3 and L4 in the spinal column. This interspinous process spacer prevents the pinching on the nerve that is creating so much pain.
My mother's surgery went well. Due to the nature of the surgery, she will be allowed to go home tomorrow, or maybe even tonight.
In addition to the irony that they are in the same hospital and on the same floor, is the fact that Carol's physician and my mother's physician are extremely close friends, both from Iran, and hang out with each other every other weekend.
Of the thousands of physicians across San Diego County, what is the chance that Carol and my mother, with totally different HMOs, would happen to have physicians who are close buddies?
Although we would not choose to be in the hospital, we are thankful that they are in the same hospital and on the same floor.
Tomorrow is the two month marker in this journey. We are so grateful for your persistent prayers and expressions of love for Carol. Thank you. Thank you.
Thursday, Aug 16, 2007, 5 pm
Carol's CT scan from last night revealed no problems or complications. That did not surprise us as previous CT scans had provided that same information.
It is believed that the cause of the nausea could be by the nature of the type of surgery Carol had, specifically the peritoneal lining of the abdominal cavity having been removed. Once having been removed it actually does grow back, but there is a possibility that the regrowth in and of itself can cause tremendous nausea. If that is the cause, then the next obvious question is how can that nausea be dealt with.
Carol is feeling considerably better today, much stronger. She has been up a fair amount. She is still in the hospital at this time, but looks so much better than she did a day or two ago.
Her nausea level has reduced considerably. There has been no vomiting since she has been here at the hospital. Furthermore, she has been able to eat some meals, and surprisingly she actually has an appetite. That is very encouraging.
Once again, thank you so much for your continued prayers.
Thursday, Aug 16, 2007, 10 am
Carol had a good night last night. She had a CT scan last evening at 9:30 pm. Results of that are not yet known. Doctors will be meeting with her sometime this morning. Her nausea at this moment is at a "low level."
In light of the fact that several CT scan's have not revealed any clues to the nausea in the past, we are not supposing that this scan will reveal any more information. Doctors seem quite perplexed regarding the cause of Carol's nausea.
Due to chemo, Carol's white blood cell count has expectedly fallen from the normal range of 4,000–10,000 to 2,200. In other words, her immune system is compromised. Thus she was required to wear a protective mask when taken from her room for the CT scan. The count is slightly improved this morning.
At this time, it is not known what the next step will be. An update will be posted when there is more information. Your prayers matter, and are so appreciated.
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2007, 1 pm
Carol's ongoing nausea, weight loss (now nearly 30 lbs.) and weakness is resulting in her being readmitted to the hospital. Prayers are needed and appreciated.
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2007, 10 am
It is a joy to bring good news. Conversely, it is unpleasant to bring disappointing news, considering the fact that so many of you are praying for and standing with Carol. However, the report is less than great.
The nausea has returned fully, particularly intense at 3 am and 9:30 am this morning. Doctors are being contacted again. Please do not grow weary in praying. Thank you so much.
Tuesday, Aug 14, 2007, 5pm
Carol had a good evening (Monday) with reducing nausea. She also had a good night. YES!!
Tuesday has been much better, with her getting up and doing quite a few things. In her exuberance, she may have overdone it a bit. Yet overall, she is much better than previous days.
Unfortunately, the nausea is not fully gone. However, she has been able to eat a little bit. She moves carefully and slowly so as to not "agitate" the nausea. But she is definitely better.
Without being overly graphic, she has not vomited for over 24 hours. That may be a classic "TMI" (Too Much Information), but that is the "world" of cancer patients. (Actually, Carol is on her way to becoming a "Cancer Overcomer," not merely a "cancer patient" or even a "cancer survivor!")
We have just returned from the Medical Oncologist appointment. We thought back to the feelings we have had at previous times at that office, particularly our first meeting, which seemed so devastating. I (Jim) am thanking God that we are beginning to have a healthy "rhythm" of life—a pattern, as opposed to the hyper-unpredictability which all cancer affected families initially experience. We have come a long way from seven weeks ago, when Carol had the extensive surgery. And as usual, numbers of you have helped make this a much better day! Thank you! Carol and family love you!
Monday, Aug 13, 2007, 2 pm
Here is a brief recap of the weekend.
- Friday evening: very quiet and subdued as she lay on the sofa due to low-grade nausea.
- Saturday morning: for a brief time, no nausea; nausea resumed around noon, continuing throughout day.
- Saturday night: ordinarily Carol has very good nights; unfortunately this night was punctuated with nausea (particularly intense around 3am).
- Sunday: up very limited amounts; if family is here, generally laying on sofa, very still, so as to not provoke vomiting.
- Sunday night: good night, for the most part.
- Monday: Carol has spoken with the doctor who is trying very hard to solve the persistent nausea problem. Carol will begin a new medicine this afternoon. Continue praying that we see results with this one.
With new anti-nausea medicines, most people no longer have unrelenting nausea during chemo. However, she has not been able to get relief. What makes this a bit more complex is that her nausea predated the chemo. As you may recall she was back at the emergency room, urgent care and finally readmitted to the hospital during the post-op phase, well before chemo began last Tuesday.
Not surprisingly, she has lost more weight, something that doctors don't want her to do.
Now that the negative components are out of the way, it is important that you all know that there were many wonderful moments during the weekend. Positively, she had many smiles during the weekend as cards and flowers, etc arrived! In reality, in spite of the challenges, we all have much to be thankful for regarding Carol's weekend.
There were many hilarious cards. In fact, I need to do a posting just about those! (I told those in weekend services about some of them. However, I will repeat this info for the benefit of those of you across the country.)
One HUGE card (approx. 1 foot by 1 1/2 feet) came that said, "You know what they say - the bigger the card" (now open the card) "the bigger the chance there's no gift" (from the Stack Family)!
Some flowers (from Lou & Steve Moore family) arrived saying "Carol, Happy Birthday. We are praying for your healing...and for your deliverance from Jim!" (No comment :-)
And then there was the special pink cap for Carol (from Terri Pellman Swagger) emblazoned with the words "High Maintenance."
Evie Hay sent birthday cake candles shaped like numbers that could be put on top of a cake announcing Carol's age. She figured that Carol did not (like most women) want to admit that she was another year older. Being sensitive to that fact, she simply sent all candle-numbers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0) and said "pick whatever age you want to be. Carol chose "35." How do you spell d-e-n-i-a-l? In my opinion, there is no need to hide her age. She is more beautiful than she has ever been. Even more beautiful than when she was 35!
And then there are the mountains of cards, which she reads and re-reads, and then insists that I read them too. I have tried to figure out why it is that the cards enliven and rejuvenate her so much. I finally figured it out today. (A big smile comes on her face every time I bring her some!) Your cards are her "connection" to you all. She feels isolated—and has been for 56 days. But the cards provide needed "connectivity."
Sunday afternoon she began crying and said, "you all get to go out and I am stuck here." That is when it dawned on me why the cards mean so much. She REALLY is missing you all badly—very badly! Thank you for loving Carol so much. Your cards and notes "connect" her with you.
On a delicate and tender note, I asked the oncologist today about the emotive aspects of chemo. Carol, who as you know is a strong woman, is crying many times a day. I asked him if the chemo has an emotional element to it. He says it does not. He stated that the need to cry is caused by "just feeling crummy because of cancer." That is certainly understandable.
Crying is certainly allowed, and is most acceptable. I simply hold her during those times, assuring what I truly believe: "it will be alright. We will make it through this!" And we will. And frankly, we feel the loving arms of family, church family, friends across the country along with the extended arms of Abba Father.
I cannot express in words what I feel toward all of you who have taken the time to support Carol in such clear, profound and creative ways. One out-of-state gentleman who has gone through major health and personal challenges wrote me and said in effect, "I wish I had your church being a support to me!" We are so blessed to have you all! Carol and our whole family have SO MUCH for which to be grateful.
Thank you to our families—both close and far—who have done an absolutely perfect job of supporting Carol.
Thank you to the Healing & Intercession Team who have "stood like a rock" through this. Carol is SO PROUD of this team. She loves being with them when possible.
Thank you for the Skyline pastors and support staff who have blessed us in ways they do not even know.
Thank you to the spectacular extended Skyline Church family. As I stated in weekend services, you have found the perfect balance in responding to the "parsonage family." You have given us the needed privacy and "space" we need. Yet you have, with wisdom, responded with words of blessing and hope, prayer, cards, flowers, unique fun gifts, meals and creative help of all kinds in an absolutely immaculate way. Your help has been INCREDIBLE! It could not be better! You have modeled true love.
And thank you for the outpouring from friends across the country. It has been so good to be connected and to get to re-connect with so many! You are a blessing to Carol.
Thursday night and Friday morning, June 21 and 22, were my darkest hours. I could hardly "put one foot in front of the other." Despair and fear gripped me that night. I could not see how we could make it.
In my shock (we had received the earliest diagnosis the previous day), I had overlooked two profound things: (1) the carrying arms of God, (2) the loving expressions from God's children. Our hearts overflow with gratitude for both!
Your brother, Jim...but written in behalf of your sister Carol.
Friday, August 10, 2007, 2 pm
True to reports on previous days, this posting contains both good and not-as-good news. Positively, she had a good night last night. Negatively, both the late evening (11pm) and the early morning time (6am) were times of strong nausea. They "bookended" an otherwise good night. Thank God for a very good night.
Carol is having a good day today. Obviously, fatigue is a universal side effect of chemo. Although she has nausea, she is able to move around a good bit.
Note from Jim: In spite of the "bends in the road" since Tuesday (when chemo began), I am very encouraged. The post-op period (June 27 - Aug 7) was considerably more difficult that we had imagined. Therefore with chemo added in, I was mentally adjusting to it being much worse.
The first four days of chemo, though challenging, have not been as bad as I was anticipating. I recognize that the chemo has an accumulative impact, i.e., getting worse each time. And admittedly, she has seven more rounds to go, from now till Feb. 1. But I was extremely concerned how she would handle chemo given the fact of such a tumultuous post-surgery season.
Considering the potent toxicity of chemotherapy, I think she has handled it very well. Those who have gone through this (and there are very many that all of us know who have had this treatment) report that it feels "like you have just been hit by a truck!" Simply stated, you feel miserable. Carol certainly has what I would call a high "miserable index." She just feels badly - all over.
This entire journey does make one more emotional, expressed with more tears. But, as you all know, crying can be very good. We have a rule in our house: "crying is acceptable anytime with no needed explanation, defense or rationale."
Yet overall, she is doing remarkably well. I am very proud of her. She is a trooper!
She commented to Steve and Barbara Babby (our pastoral District Superintendent & his wife) how absolutely wonderful the people of Skyline Church have been. And you are!
Tomorrow at 11am, if Carol's health permits, our family is gathering to celebrate her ?? birthday. It will be a wonderful time!
We sure love you all - so much more than can be expressed in an email. Thank you SO MUCH for loving my wife the way you do! - Jim
Thursday, Aug 9, 2007, 2 pm
Carol had a good night last night.
She was quite weak this morning. That fact, combined with the reality that she has not felt all that good for over 50 days, seemed to take an emotional toll on her.
As you know, the website postings have been very candid. That is so people can pray with specificity. Every attempt is made to neither over-state nor sugar-coat Carol's condition at a given time. What makes accurate reporting difficult is that her condition can change relatively quickly. An example is this morning as compared to this afternoon.
The morning was difficult for Carol, culminating in her crying at length, caused (it is believed) by both discomfort as well as discouragement. It was a combination of the physical and the emotional realm. In fact, as she cried, she said, "and this is only the beginning" a statement of her desperation. On several occasions, she has said, "I just want to feel good again." (All of you who have suffered longer illnesses can relate with her.)
She was assured that it was not the beginning of the process, since it has been going on for almost two months now, but rather the beginning of a new (admittedly long) chapter.
And she was assured that likely only 1/3 of the time will be as strongly uncomfortable as she now is. In other words, the first week after chemo is the rugged week. The other two weeks (she is told) should be better.
As this posting is being written, Carol seems to be resting much better, a marked improvement from this morning. She was told that the journey would have many ups and downs. That has been the case.
Admittedly, it may sound trite to the reader, but be assured of the deep gratitude for prayer. She is so appreciative of you all!
And, she STILL loves the cards. On a humorous note, she even loves opening the envelopes. Cards that were brought from the church were nicely opened. She wanted it known that SHE would open the cards. She actually loves doing that!?!?
And—a reminder of what was shared in last weekend's services. It is her birthday this Saturday, Aug. 11. Thank you for the many birthday cards she has received. These cards really brighten her day.
Wednesday, Aug 8, 2007, 7 pm
Carol has completed "day 2" of "round 1" of chemo. It is a joy to report she is doing well. Considering the fact that there have been so many "downturns" during this post-op period, the family is breathing a collective sigh of relief.
She had some intense pain from various complications late last night, but a call to the doctor provided remedies that allowed her strong discomfort to end. Thus she slept extremely well. This is a significant victory because the full impact of chemo can hit a few hours after it is originally administered.
Carol had momentary nausea this morning, but other than that, she has had a very good day. Her strength level is understandably low, probably a "3" or "4" on a scale of "1 to 10," with "10" being very strong.
Given the full range of what could have been encountered, Carol and family are quite relieved for her to have experienced such a good day!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying. You are appreciated—lots!
Tuesday, Aug 7, 2007, 4 pm
The "pre-chemo" evening (Monday evening) was blessed with 20–25 intercessors surrounding Carol and agreeing with the Word of God for Carol's healing. Carol loved being with the Prayer & Healing Team, a group she has cherished for the last nearly dozen years.
Tuesday marked the beginning of chemotherapy. Carol came through her first round of chemo with flying colors. She is now back home.
The impact of chemo (as many of you know) does not hit for several hours. Fatigue is the most universal side effect. Loss of hair can begin as early as the first week, but is most pronounced during the third week. In addition, any chemo patient has to be protected from persons with colds or infection, due to the compromise of the immune system.
Carol has made it through Phase 1—the "shock" of the diagnosis, Phase 2—the surgery, Phase 3—the post-op period. She has now entered into Phase 4—chemotherapy.
Thank you to so many of you who have flooded her with prayers and expressions of love. She, along with the entire family, is so very, very grateful.
Monday, Aug 6, 2007, 5 pm
We received the word today that chemo will begin tomorrow at 9 am. It is a 5 hour procedure.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
Monday, Aug 6, 2007, 1 pm
As many of you know who have cared for persons in this type of situation, Carol's condition can change rather quickly. Also when one problem is solved, the meds seem to cause other problems. Although she has overcome the nausea, the medications that were needed created other complications. Consequently, Saturday was a challenging day.
However the good news is that she had remarkably improved by Saturday evening. Several prayer warriors, including Jerry & Martha Love, surrounded her at approximately 6pm. That is the best explanation for a significant turnaround.
Saturday (during the day) had been so difficult that the family was quite concerned about leaving her to go to Saturday night services. By the time the Saturday night services were over (and the prayer team was done praying), she was up, smiling, cooking a meal! This is the first one she has prepared in approximately 45 days. What a welcome sight that was!
Sunday was a reasonably good day for Carol. The family decided to "seize the moment" and get some group and individual pictures taken before chemo would begin. She was clearly "in the game" in the earliest pictures. By the end, her countenance revealed how very tired she was. She was a trooper throughout, but she had to rest signifantly after the "photo shoot."
Monday has started off very good. She seems to have some increased strength. And good news: the weight loss has stopped and she has finally gained 2 or 3 pounds. The doctor will be pleased to hear that.
Carol will see the oncologist at 3pm today. We presume that we will hear that chemo is to begin Tuesday or Wednesday. We will let you know.
Once again, she LOVES the cards you send. For your info, Carol's birthday is Aug 11, this Saturday. She will be ?? years old, as she was born in 19??.
Note from Jim:
For many of our married years, I had done a poor job creatively celebrating her birthday. However for the last 2 or 3 years, I have really made up for it, doing some very special things. Planning her birthday has become very fun for me. But this year (with chemo presumably beginning in the next 48 hours) we don't (can't?) have any creative plans. We wait to see what the options are, based on her condition. We will try to find a way to make it special, even if very "contained" and quiet.
The number one prayer at this point: that the chemo not be accompanied with nausea.
Friday, August 3, 2007 11 am
Wednesday and Thursday have been good days for Carol, primarily because these are the first two days she has not experienced nausea (vomiting) in the evenings. This is great news!
In addition, she has finally been able to stop her weight loss. She has not been able to gain needed weight, but at least she is not losing more. That is another victory.
She is at times reasonably strong, but can "wear out" very quickly, particularly if she does not pace herself well.
Carol has been "out and about" on both days, and really enjoyed that. She is moving a bit more cautiously and slowly today however, feeling that she may have slightly overextended the last two days. Yet there is much about which to rejoice. She is clearly improving.
Once again, the oncologosit visit is scheduled for Monday, with expectations that chemo will begin Tuesday or Wednesday.
Chemo will consist (based on what Carol was told earlier this week) of eight rounds, every three weeks. This is two more than was stated in an earlier web posting.
The plan is for the first three cyles of chemo to be given by IV (intravenous) throughout the whole body, followed by laproscopic surgery to see what is happening in abdominal and pelvic regions. The next five cycles will be given IP (intraperitoneal), focused in abdominal area.
Carol and family are keenly aware of the need for your prayers, and for God's miraculous healing touch. Join her in praying 2 Kings 20:5, "I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you."